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Old 03-19-2010, 12:58 AM   #136
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASparrow View Post
I've updated the file on Smashwords to include:

1) A linkable table of contents (which is functional in .doc but not yet functional apparently in other formats.)

What's the point? Mark Coker says that Amazon and other sellers are requesting this functionality be added to ebooks they distribute. They're preparing their "Meat grinder" conversion tool to handle such formatting.

2) I received a detailed critique from: http://the-great-white-ebook-shark.b...a-sparrow.html
that I took to heart and implemented.
Your book is next on my TBR pile. How different is it? Should I download the new version?
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Old 03-19-2010, 05:12 AM   #137
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Thanks for letting us know. I read the review and critique at The Great White. If I hadn't already read your novel, I would have wanted to read it due to her comments.

I am looking forward to the sequel.
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Old 03-19-2010, 05:58 AM   #138
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Originally Posted by alvico View Post
Your book is next on my TBR pile. How different is it? Should I download the new version?
It's not that much different. There's probably no need to bother to re-download. I just had my first chapter (part of it) intensively analyzed by a reviewer/editor on a blog post and it's just a little bit tighter now. I omitted a few unnecessary descriptors and clarified some actions here and there.
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Old 03-19-2010, 07:38 PM   #139
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASparrow View Post
It's not that much different. There's probably no need to bother to re-download. I just had my first chapter (part of it) intensively analyzed by a reviewer/editor on a blog post and it's just a little bit tighter now. I omitted a few unnecessary descriptors and clarified some actions here and there.
I'll make sure I download a new version then.

Looking forward to reading it.
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Old 03-20-2010, 02:06 AM   #140
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASparrow View Post
I've updated the file on Smashwords to include:

1) A linkable table of contents (which is functional in .doc but not yet functional apparently in other formats.)

What's the point? Mark Coker says that Amazon and other sellers are requesting this functionality be added to ebooks they distribute. They're preparing their "Meat grinder" conversion tool to handle such formatting.

2) I received a detailed critique from: http://the-great-white-ebook-shark.b...a-sparrow.html
that I took to heart and implemented.
I think I bought your first edition to read on my palm... but never finished reading it... I have downloaded this recent edition to my kindle, which should give me a chance...

I don't understand the requirement for a TOC in a fiction book, since you read it from one end to the other... In my opinion it just takes up space...

Thank you...
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Old 03-20-2010, 02:29 AM   #141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASparrow View Post
2) I received a detailed critique from: http://the-great-white-ebook-shark.b...a-sparrow.html
that I took to heart and implemented.
I loved reading that critique... It made so much sense... My interest is due to me studying Professional Proofreading and Editing (mostly to improve my understanding and writing of the English language...

Thanks for posting it.
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Old 03-20-2010, 09:03 AM   #142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lene1949 View Post
I loved reading that critique... It made so much sense... My interest is due to me studying Professional Proofreading and Editing (mostly to improve my understanding and writing of the English language...

Thanks for posting it.

Yes, I was very grateful to receive it, despite the pain. I only hope I can apply these principles to other works, but I fear I'm doomed to always have a somewhat awkward, opaque style. It might prevent me from ever being published but it won't stop me from writing, because after all, writing is a disease.
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Old 03-21-2010, 02:53 AM   #143
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I read the great white shark's critique with great interest. My review of Xenolith was quoted at the end and I was relieved it wasn't critiqued, too.

ASparrow, it was painful for you to have some of your work taken to pieces and rebuilt, but please focus on this...

The shark said "You’ve got the vision. All you lack are tricks of the trade." I agree: read, write, practice, accept criticism, be prepared to incorporate changes and review your work over and over.

You have what it takes. Despite some awkwardness in style, Xenolith was a wonderful read and I'm eagerly awaiting the sequel.
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Old 03-21-2010, 05:45 AM   #144
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cbell View Post
I read the great white shark's critique with great interest. My review of Xenolith was quoted at the end and I was relieved it wasn't critiqued, too.

ASparrow, it was painful for you to have some of your work taken to pieces and rebuilt, but please focus on this...

The shark said "You’ve got the vision. All you lack are tricks of the trade." I agree: read, write, practice, accept criticism, be prepared to incorporate changes and review your work over and over.

You have what it takes. Despite some awkwardness in style, Xenolith was a wonderful read and I'm eagerly awaiting the sequel.
Thanks for the encouragement! Improving one's writing is a slow, incremental process, but it happens. I'm already finding my first drafts much better than the ones I wrote two years ago.

I have the makings of seven more novels sketched out in my notebooks beyond the two I'm currently revising. My only goal is make each one more accessible/enjoyable/intriguing/compelling to readers. The stories will take care of themselves.
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Old 03-21-2010, 07:15 AM   #145
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I've had an unusual number lot of free samples downloaded this week, so I'm bumping this to allow people more people a chance to get the whole shebang for free.

Here's an interesting critique/analysis for the curious:

http://the-great-white-ebook-shark.b...a-sparrow.html

This critique very much conforms with my self-perceptions of my work: rough around the edges with something shiny in the middle (something between diamond and a turd).

Meanwhile, editing Xenolith's sequel, Peregrin, continues to be a hard slog. The bones of the story are set firmly. The details are what bedevils me. Once I get through a few problem chapters, the work should flow more quickly.
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Old 03-24-2010, 12:10 AM   #146
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Quote:"This critique very much conforms with my self-perceptions of my work: rough around the edges with something shiny in the middle (something between diamond and a turd)."

LOL. I'm part of that surge in downloads. Hopefully will get to it within the next couple weekends. Thank You.

-Mike
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Old 03-24-2010, 07:42 PM   #147
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Sneak preview of Peregrin, the sequel (first chapter, no spoilers) available free at:

http://www.wattpad.com/345406-peregrin
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:44 AM   #148
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This thread made me giggle! I downloaded your book just tonight (I donʻt get on this forum often enough!) and Iʻm excited to read it! Thanks!
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Old 03-27-2010, 06:14 AM   #149
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This thread made me giggle! I downloaded your book just tonight (I donʻt get on this forum often enough!) and Iʻm excited to read it! Thanks!

This tripe made you giggle? We'll you're just silly.

Hope you like the book.
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Old 04-06-2010, 02:03 AM   #150
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What a read. Finished it 2 nights ago and I wish it hadn't ended. It was like checking in on good friends ... always something going on, loveable characters and a world that's fun to read about. I will definately get the sequel.
Great writing, awesome story.

I just have a question about the end ... it might make me look stupid and show that I didn't understand the story at all, so I'll ask you in private

I also contacted smashwords on how to re-buy a book when I already "bought" it for free.
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