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Old 07-25-2023, 10:07 AM   #136
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Why did the Northwest Territories split?

They were halving Nunavut.
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Old 07-25-2023, 01:26 PM   #137
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Did you hear about the chef who spilled his herbs on the floor?
Cleaning it up was a massive waste of thyme.
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Old 07-25-2023, 06:30 PM   #138
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I took a few pages from Moby Dick and boiled them to see what it tasted like.
It was just okay, but I might not do it again. It was a novel tea.
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Old 07-25-2023, 10:57 PM   #139
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Sunday: Ian
Monday: Greg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Greg
Saturday: Ian

The Gregorian calendar.
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Old 07-25-2023, 11:53 PM   #140
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Two wind turbines are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"
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Old 07-25-2023, 11:58 PM   #141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afv011 View Post
Sunday: Ian
Monday: Greg
Tuesday: Ian
Wednesday: Greg
Thursday: Ian
Friday: Greg
Saturday: Ian

The Gregorian calendar.
  1. Would that not mean the next week would be:
    Sunday: Greg
    Monday:Ian
    Tuesday:Greg
    Wednesday: Ian
    Thursday: Greg
    Friday: Ian
    Saturday: Greg
  2. We will not discuss a blasphemer who misnames the Ianorgreg calendar!
<patting oneself in the back whilst admiring one's exquisite sense of humour>
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Old 07-26-2023, 05:37 PM   #142
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DNSB View Post
  1. Would that not mean the next week would be:
    Sunday: Greg
    Monday:Ian
    Tuesday:Greg
    Wednesday: Ian
    Thursday: Greg
    Friday: Ian
    Saturday: Greg
  2. We will not discuss a blasphemer who misnames the Ianorgreg calendar!
<patting oneself in the back whilst admiring one's exquisite sense of humour>
Pffftt, details!
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Old 07-26-2023, 05:37 PM   #143
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What do vegan zombies eat?

GGGRRAAAAAAIIIIIINNNSSSS!!!
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Old 07-26-2023, 06:09 PM   #144
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What do vegans and vampires have in common?

They both hate stakes.
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Old 07-26-2023, 06:51 PM   #145
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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."

The second one says, "I'll have one, too."

The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."

The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"

(Pretty sure I already posted this one, but since we're doing vampire jokes... )
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Old 07-26-2023, 10:38 PM   #146
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What do you call a vampire who went to the beach?

Ash.
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Old 07-27-2023, 07:47 PM   #147
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What is a vampire’s favourite beer?

Bloodweiser
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Old 07-27-2023, 11:55 PM   #148
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Why are werewolves better than vampires?

Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
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Old 07-29-2023, 02:07 PM   #149
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Click image for larger version Name: negative-space-wheat-field-summer-farm-blue-sky-clouds-thumb-1.jpg Views: 80 Size: 130.8 KB ID: 202858

Sorry for the grainy photo.
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Old 07-29-2023, 02:19 PM   #150
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LOL!

We finally figured out why a friend always called his girlfriend Hollyhock despite her name being Sharon. Found this entry in The Old Farmer's Almanac: Hollyhock: does well in fence corners and behind barns, not so well in beds.
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