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[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Okay!

So, what's with this whole time-travel thing? It has our This Old Thread viewers very confused... they don't know whether to vote for you, if they already have, or whether their dopplegangers in an alternate universe have already registered their vote. What's the story?

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Okay!

So, what's with this whole time-travel thing? It has our This Old Thread viewers very confused... they don't know whether to vote for you, if they already have, or whether their dopplegangers in an alternate universe have already registered their vote. What's the story?

As Queen Zee has said, "Vote early and often."

[DixieGal]

Of course he is using time travel. Don't all presidential candidates? So to sum it all up:

1. Pshynk recently ran for and lost the 2004 US Prez election, despite the earnest efforts of his devoted and criminal campaign staff. Many bribes... donations were accepted/extorted. Marc was in charge of the victory party, so you can figure out where things began to go awry.

2. After that highly profitable fiasco, Pshrynk briefly considered running for 2000, and some of his loyal and criminal staff may or may not have invented the hanging chad just for the occasion.

3. That candidacy fell apart after the invasion of the Pandorg and Pshrynk's alien abduction, probing, and brainwashing to believe he was a panda.

4. Followed by his rescue from the Pandorg and subsequent defenestration into a camelid (llama variety). Llamas are basically harmless if you stand upwind of them, his wife figures a llama is close enough for her and government work, so no further efforts have been made to de-llamize him.

5. And now he is running for president again. Business as usual. And he spits a lot less than many elected officials already in office, so it's a win-win situation at this point.

[pshrynk]

Hey! I'm still in the process of losing the retrochronic '04 campaign! There's too much money to be pumped out of the marks... i mean voting public to give up yet! I mean look at Gore in '00! That loss went on forever.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Hey! I'm still in the process of losing the retrochronic '04 campaign! There's too much money to be pumped out of the marks... i mean voting public to give up yet! I mean look at Gore in '00! That loss went on forever.

Woohoo! Party at my house!

Err, I mean, in my infinite wisdom I have decided to rename, after Hell Presidentay, my infinite library that parallels the infinite dining table in my infinite dining room in my infinite chateau on my infinite estate that occupies a region of un-space across the multiverse and infinite pan-dimensional curly superstrings ...and QUANTUM...lots and lots of QUANTUM, because it mixes so well with the dark matter being stirred by dark energy spoons in every Zany Carter El Presidente being served at the Library Naming Ceremony...and did I mention quantum...oh, yeah, got heaps of the stuff, shipped in from the Pandaborg Quadrant in the holds of the Flying Llllllama Squadron, lead by Captain "Death By Bananas From The Skies" Adrian, who has flown in to throw down a few Zanys himself with his good friend and band-mate, The Librarian, forming (with me on percussion, mouth-harp and theremin) the Downunder Outback Death Metal Banjo Band (new single out now, "I Love You Like A Cousin, Corinne, But My Cousin's Got No Teeth").

Anyway, the library...naming it after pshrynk...not sure what to name it yet ("The Espresso Machine-Stealing Cudsucker Universal Library of Infamy"?), but I'm open to suggestions.

Come one, come all. Make sure your belly's empty and your hindbrain emptier (make space for the Zany, baby!). Breakfast is on me! C'mon in and loosen up. Who's your daddy?! Oh, yeah, you like that, don't you?

Cheers,
MC Hammered

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Cool, I love Downunder Outback Death Metal Banjo Band. The Moss Green album is killer. And as far as naming the library, just calling "VW Microbus" makes it easy.

Sooo... the '00 and '04 elections, which are over, aren't completely, and we are but are not talking about '08 yet. But the party is on, and I just saw some awfully buff-looking girls heading unchaperoned into that party, who don't look like they're old enough to be consuming the quantum which you attest will be on-hand, and which I'd bet my backspace key will be pure and uncut. And we all know what under-age girls exposed to uncut quantum will do! And in light of that, I have one important question:

Do you know if any of those girls like older guys? I mean, if not, I can color my hair, and yo, I just got paid...

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Cool, I love Downunder Outback Death Metal Banjo Band. The Moss Green album is killer. And as far as naming the library, just calling "VW Microbus" makes it easy.

Excellent taste as usual, good sir, in both euphony and athenaeum-appellation. Henceforth, wherewithal and behoovery, the Psrhynk Memorial Libr....oops, umm, pretend I didn't say "Memorial", okay...The Pshrynk Library, my library, shall hereafter, buy-and-bye, in ad nauseum answer to the nominative "VW Microbus". If you address her as "My dearest, most compact and smoothly-duco'd VW Microbus..." she will answer any question you ask at any time and anywhere. Of course, if you would prefer to attend to her yourself, her visiting hours are between 0.00000000001ms PBB (Post Big-Bang) and 15'45"BTBC (Before The Big Crunch), the latter giving her time to wash her hair and put on some nice shoes before the after-the-end-of-the-multiverse celebrations. I highly recommend the Llama Wing, though access to the Psockpuppet UnderSubBasement should only be attempted while accompanied by a qualified non-human primate and a sturdy squash racket (which can be supplied at the front desk).

Steve, my good friend and aesthetic adept, it would honour me greatly if you would introduce the Libary's namesake, and start the traditional library-naming ceremony with that throwing arm of yours, tossing the usual bottle of Llamagavulin 314 Proof Quantum Whishskee at the Library Door, Tibetan throat-singing the new name as you do so.

Do you know if any of those girls like older guys? I mean, if not, I can color my hair, and yo, I just got paid...

Umm, Steve, as usual you are right on most things...except for the bit about underage girls. You might want to look a little closer, and you'll notice there is something a little...meerkat-like about their faces. I suggest that you "look with your eyes; not with your hands" when dealing with them, unless you are considering adapting the more dexterous section of your forelimbs to a state more conducive to familiarisation with the octal number system or, gods and demons forbid, you need to redirect those studies to familiarity with the binary, counting on subsequently less-dexterous stumps - meerkats are cute, but fickle, and almost as feisty as fairies when provoked.

Montsnmags Party: where the drinks are Zany and the foodchain is complicated.

Cheers,
MC Squared

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Steve, my good friend and aesthetic adept, it would honour me greatly if you would introduce the Libary's namesake, and start the traditional library-naming ceremony with that throwing arm of yours, tossing the usual bottle of Llamagavulin 314 Proof Quantum Whishskee at the Library Door, Tibetan throat-singing the new name as you do so.

Okay... here goes nothin':

Wallyllamadallillamamallyllamadallillamamallyllama dallillamadingdongmallyllamadallillamayaaa!

(and allez-oop...)

Ki-tash!

Open up, you dearest, most compact and smoothly-duco'd VW Microbus you!

And now... heeeeeeerre's Pshrynk-ey!

(Phew! I'll be in my trailer, CB.)

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Umm, Steve, as usual you are right on most things...except for the bit about underage girls. You might want to look a little closer, and you'll notice there is something a little...meerkat-like about their faces.

Marco, I'm exhausted! Get me a rum-runner! Oh, and get my optometrist on the phone...

[Barcey]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Hey! I'm still in the process of losing the retrochronic '04 campaign! There's too much money to be pumped out of the marks... i mean voting public to give up yet! I mean look at Gore in '00! That loss went on forever.

I think that you're approaching it all wrong. All this campaigning and time travel is just too much work!

I think that you should convince the Democrats that it's time to change their symbol away from the donkey/ass to the Llama!

It's possible to gather wool from Llama's so they're practical, they're cute so they appeal to the masses but they still have that spit in your eye fight to them.

You should just offer to be the new Democratic mascot. You can hang around at the convention and eat hors d'oeuvres then sell your image and collect the royalties.

The Obama/Biden Llama!!

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Okay... here goes nothin
...

That weren't nothin'! That was...beautiful ~sniff~, just beautiful!. Brought a genuine tear to this old MC's eye, which is pretty impressive, since I had my tear ducts removed in '78 for the Milky Way Olympics when I competed for the team of The Great Platitudinal Nebula of Omnithorincus in the "Kick Them In The Bollocks 'Til They Cry" event (disqualified, naturally. "Steel-capped Blundstones with a toe-spike give an unfair advantage" they said. "Look, your competitor's knee-deep in his own viscera" they said. Yeah, yeah, whinge, whinge, frackin' whinge. If you wanted me to play fair you would have had a metal detector at the door, not to mention an x-ray machine, and an explosives-sniffer. That was a great year - the Olympics certainly ended with a bang, anyway).

Marco, I'm exhausted! Get me a rum-runner! Oh, and get my optometrist on the phone...

Done, and done.

(BTW, nobody ever calls me "Marco". Even down here in the Great Brown Land, where antipodean fashion is to add "-o" to people's names as a sort-of nick', they add it to "Steve" and "Shane" and "Sean", but I've known only one person to add it to my name, where it actually fits. No, instead, they try (only once) to call me "Marcus", which I hate with a passion. I hate the name, "Marcus" like a paper-cut hates salt-and-vinegar chips. If you want to aggravate me, call me "Marcus". [Note: next person that calls me "Marcus" is getting a marlin inserted in their eye, pointy bit first] "Marco" though...yeah, I like. Thanks. )

Cheers,
Marc(o)

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Barcey

I think that you're approaching it all wrong.
...

...but, but, but (he he - I said "butt"), that is the campaign slogan:

If you're sick of politicians saying they're approaching things from "a new angle", vote for pshrynk, and let's all consciously approach it from The Wrong Angle (hey, it's inadvertently worked for every other democratically elected government).

The Wrong Angle - Don't be obtuse; be acutelated.

Cheers,
Marc
What was I again? Manager in Charge of Campaign Funds, Militarisation Acquisitions, and Bribes (something like that...that's what I've been doing, anyway)

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

(BTW, nobody ever calls me "Marco".

Oh, sorry, Marc... I didn't mean you! I was talking to Marco, the dwarf manservant from Venezuela, in my trailer. For a while, I had a girl from Ipanema, but my wife vetoed that (said I was humming in my sleep), and made me hire Marco instead. He makes a mean rum-runner, though, and my shoes have never been shinier! Even the sneakers!

[pshrynk]

I have a Laddie (drunk Irish relative) who used to work at the door, collecting fares, but Geoff sacked him in lieu of the Luddite at the Super Secret Entrance to the Escape Tunnel, That Neko Chan Refuses to Even Go Near Again After the Llama Incident, who is looking for work. I'll send him around. He makes a mean swig straight from the whisky bottle, if you can get it away from him.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I have a Laddie (drunk Irish relative)...

I have a cannula and a nice clear bag of Zany Carter Intravenal on a pole I can wheel 'round with me, prescribed by a totally corrupt doctor willing to prescribe me anything so long as I stop coming around and topping up his Laddie.

Cheers,
Marc (no "o")

[DixieGal]

What goes into a Silly Crater anyway? I can't seem to find the recipe.