Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 50

DNSB · 11-18-2025, 09:24 PM

If you’re considering working in a prison library, you’ll need to consider both the prose and the cons.

ownedbycats · 11-19-2025, 01:13 AM

A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He came, he saw, he conquered.

DNSB · 11-19-2025, 02:28 AM

Fiction always talks about the drama and mystery surrounding a departed relative’s will. But most of the time, it’s a dead giveaway.

poohbear_nc · 11-22-2025, 07:06 PM

Why is a cow tired after giving birth?

Because she is decaffeinated

DNSB · 11-22-2025, 07:53 PM

“Doctor, help! I’m shrinking!” “Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”

ownedbycats · 11-25-2025, 09:27 PM

Given their anatomy, some people wonder how mermaids can give birth. They usually have a sea section.

DNSB · 11-26-2025, 02:40 AM

Seen on the Internet:
Picture of a adult deer with the caption: How could you eat this precious cutie?
First comment: Is that a rhetorical question or are you asking for recipes?

DNSB · 11-27-2025, 02:39 AM

I completely understand if this is too sensitive and too personal of a question so feel free not to answer, but were you homeschooled by a pigeon?

DNSB · Yesterday, 03:58 AM

Not sure if many others will find this funny but a friend sent me a photo of their new 4U rackmount UPS' safety label. After the warnings about weight and so on, the last line on the safety label reads:

Do NOT swallow. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting.

Spoiler:

ownedbycats · Yesterday, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

Not sure if many others will find this funny but a friend sent me a photo of their new 4U rackmount UPS' safety label. After the warnings about weight and so on, the last line on the safety label reads:

Do NOT swallow. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting.

Spoiler:

I recently got a toy catnip mouse for my cat with a warning along the lines "not for human use, don't apply internally."

DNSB · Yesterday, 11:03 PM

An image of a peanut butter jar with the warning: Contains: peanuts

ownedbycats · Yesterday, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DNSB

An image of a peanut butter jar with the warning: Contains: peanuts

Better than "may contain peanuts."

DNSB · Yesterday, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

Better than "may contain peanuts."

I think the "may contain peanuts" is an urban myth.

What kind of sandwiches do sharks eat?
Peanut butter and jellyfish, of course!

Yesterday, 03:58 AM	#744
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Not sure if many others will find this funny but a friend sent me a photo of their new 4U rackmount UPS' safety label. After the warnings about weight and so on, the last line on the safety label reads: Do NOT swallow. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Spoiler: Please note that the UPS is 6.9"/17.4cm tall, 17"/43.2cm wide (exclusive of mounting ears) and 28.3"/71.94cm deep weighing in at 132.3lb/60kg. Now visualize a mouth capable of swallowing that.

Yesterday, 11:03 PM	#746
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	An image of a peanut butter jar with the warning: Contains: peanuts Attached Thumbnails

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11-18-2025, 09:24 PM	#736
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	If you’re considering working in a prison library, you’ll need to consider both the prose and the cons.

11-19-2025, 01:13 AM	#737
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,389 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar walked into a bar. He came, he saw, he conquered.

11-19-2025, 02:28 AM	#738
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Fiction always talks about the drama and mystery surrounding a departed relative’s will. But most of the time, it’s a dead giveaway.

11-22-2025, 07:06 PM	#739
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 64,498 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Why is a cow tired after giving birth? Because she is decaffeinated

11-22-2025, 07:53 PM	#740
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	“Doctor, help! I’m shrinking!” “Take this and you’ll be back to normal in a few weeks. Until then, you’ll just have to be a little patient.”

11-25-2025, 09:27 PM	#741
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,389 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Given their anatomy, some people wonder how mermaids can give birth. They usually have a sea section.

11-26-2025, 02:40 AM	#742
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Seen on the Internet: Picture of a adult deer with the caption: How could you eat this precious cutie? First comment: Is that a rhetorical question or are you asking for recipes?

11-27-2025, 02:39 AM	#743
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,719 Karma: 174510110 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I completely understand if this is too sensitive and too personal of a question so feel free not to answer, but were you homeschooled by a pigeon?