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Old 08-09-2018, 06:57 AM   #10171
Adoby
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
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Old 08-10-2018, 03:30 AM   #10172
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Old 08-10-2018, 05:14 AM   #10173
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Chuck Norris once leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy.
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Old 08-10-2018, 09:28 AM   #10174
orlok
Somewhat stalled
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Old 08-11-2018, 06:05 AM   #10175
drjd
The Couch Potato
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It was the first day of school and the teacher was asking the little boy about his family.

"And what does your Daddy do?"

"He's a magician."

"That must be exciting, what tricks can he do?"

"He can saw people in half."

"That is clever, and tell me do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Yes, one half brother, and two half sisters."
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Old 08-12-2018, 09:23 PM   #10176
PeterT
Grand Sorcerer
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What did jay-z call his girlfriend before they were married?
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Fèyonce
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Old Yesterday, 04:56 AM   #10177
Adoby
Handy Elephant
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Little Tommy had problems with numbers and adding. But when he was allowed to count on his fingers, and not just in the head, it usually went fine.

But the teacher had started telling Tommy to put his hands in his pockets before giving Tommy a problem to solve. Tommy was smart, so after the first time he took some scissors and cut away the insides of the pockets on his trousers.

Teacher: "Tommy, put your hands in your pockets! Now, what is five plus five?"

(pause)

Tommy: "Eleven!"
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Old Yesterday, 05:36 AM   #10178
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Did you hear about the doctor who was going from full time to part time? He was either losing his patients or getting a bit out of practice.
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Old Yesterday, 10:01 AM   #10179
Adoby
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At the butchers:

- How can you sell meat this cheap?

- We cut down the staff.
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