Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 343

steven522 · 07-10-2012, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

It's an Italian joke, but I think it applies to some other countries too...

It most definitely does. I'm guessing political mentality is universal.

yvanleterrible · 07-10-2012, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven522

It most definitely does. I'm guessing political mentality is universal.

Where there is fleece there is a hungry wolf...

Fbone · 07-10-2012, 10:46 PM

"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"

Figlilly · 07-10-2012, 10:54 PM

Adult scrabble

Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.

P N E S I
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
People who wrote SPINE became doctors... The rest are all my friends and colleagues.

Format C: · 07-11-2012, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"

It means I'm your biological father.

yvanleterrible · 07-11-2012, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"

Not much these days since drive A has been suppressed a few years ago...

WT Sharpe · 07-11-2012, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"

It means I'm your biological father.

Lynx-lynx · 07-11-2012, 06:23 PM

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of a University.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

Stitchawl · 07-11-2012, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lynx-lynx

Three Holy Men and a Bear

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of a University........

Great joke to start my morning!

Stitchawl

Fbone · 07-12-2012, 11:16 PM

Hiroshima..45........Chernobyl..86........Windows. .95...

wannabee · 07-13-2012, 07:15 AM

I'm fed up with people complaining about Asian drivers. I reckon if they don't like it then get of the side walk.

Fbone · 07-13-2012, 07:40 PM

Owners of digital watches: Your days are numbered!

Kumabjorn · 07-14-2012, 03:31 AM

Are Pandas the only non-racial creature?
They are black and white and on top of that they are Asian.

issybird · 07-14-2012, 06:12 PM

Fbone · 07-15-2012, 02:49 AM

Very funny, issybird.

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

07-12-2012, 11:16 PM	#5140
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,301 Karma: 102296946 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Hiroshima..45........Chernobyl..86........Windows. .95... Last edited by Fbone; 07-12-2012 at 11:18 PM.

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07-10-2012, 10:46 PM	#5133
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,301 Karma: 102296946 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	"Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?"

07-10-2012, 10:54 PM	#5134
Figlilly Zealot Posts: 122 Karma: 2514066 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kindle Oasis 2&3, Paperwhites, Kindle Touch, Kobo Clara, IPad Air2	Adult scrabble Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect. P N E S I > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > People who wrote SPINE became doctors... The rest are all my friends and colleagues.

07-11-2012, 06:23 PM	#5138
Lynx-lynx Treachery of images ... Posts: 4,149 Karma: 94320195 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Australia Device: Sony 650, Kobo Glo, H2O, Aura One, Forma, Libra 2, Libra Colour	Three Holy Men and a Bear A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of a University. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion. Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. 'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.' Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah! The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape. The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, .....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

07-13-2012, 07:15 AM	#5141
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS	I'm fed up with people complaining about Asian drivers. I reckon if they don't like it then get of the side walk.

07-13-2012, 07:40 PM	#5142
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,301 Karma: 102296946 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Owners of digital watches: Your days are numbered!

07-14-2012, 03:31 AM	#5143
Kumabjorn Basculocolpic Posts: 4,356 Karma: 20181319 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1	Are Pandas the only non-racial creature? They are black and white and on top of that they are Asian.

07-14-2012, 06:12 PM	#5144
issybird o saeclum infacetum Posts: 21,459 Karma: 236076651 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: New England Device: Mini, H2O, Glo HD, Aura One, PW4, PW5

07-15-2012, 02:49 AM	#5145
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,301 Karma: 102296946 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Very funny, issybird. There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.