Silliness The perfect girlfriend :)

TadW · 11-30-2009, 04:32 AM

Sweetpea · 11-30-2009, 04:55 AM

I know why she doesn't care...

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 08:03 AM

Blah! Nowhere near perfect*. Here's what she's missing and what'd she'd need adding and some of what needs taking away

:

1: Glasses (because Dorothy Parker was wrong)
2: Too much makeup.
3: Too little clothing, and not enough hats. One hat would do, mind, something strange, possibly hand-knitted and woolen. And plenty of layers; you know a frock underneath a big jumper that ends in some flat (not heeled) boots

4: The most important: where's her Liseuse? I'm afraid I can no longer be attracted to women who don't own a liseuse.

*This opinion in no way reflects that of the vast majority of other men, or sane human beings for that matter. All opinions expressed here are born of Moejoe's twisted mind and should be taken as such. Attraction not guaranteed if you own a wooly hat, glasses and a liseuse. If you do not like this opinon, please ask for a refund. If a refund is unavailable, then a hug of some kind may be offered (also not a guarantee). If you are Dorothy Parker risen from the grave to prove a point about glasses and passes, Moejoe's real name is Dan Brown and he can be found somewhere in America.

Sparrow · 11-30-2009, 08:14 AM

Talks a lot doesn't she?
Presumably she doesn't mind if you're not really listening.

zelda_pinwheel · 11-30-2009, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Blah! Nowhere near perfect*. Here's what she's missing and what'd she'd need adding and some of what needs taking away

:

1: Glasses (because Dorothy Parker was wrong)
2: Too much makeup.
3: Too little clothing, and not enough hats. One hat would do, mind, something strange, possibly hand-knitted and woolen. And plenty of layers; you know a frock underneath a big jumper that ends in some flat (not heeled) boots

4: The most important: where's her Liseuse? I'm afraid I can no longer be attracted to women who don't own a liseuse.

at last ! at last !! the rest of the world has finally caught up with me !! i'm now the perfect woman ! strange, hand-knitted woolen hat wearers with glasses and a liseuse unite ! o happy day !!!!

Quote:

*This opinion in no way reflects that of the vast majority of other men, or sane human beings for that matter. All opinions expressed here are born of Moejoe's twisted mind and should be taken as such. Attraction not guaranteed if you own a wooly hat, glasses and a liseuse. If you do not like this opinon, please ask for a refund. If a refund is unavailable, then a hug of some kind may be offered (also not a guarantee). If you are Dorothy Parker risen from the grave to prove a point about glasses and passes, Moejoe's real name is Dan Brown and he can be found somewhere in America.

damned !! and i was so excited, for a second there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sparrow

Talks a lot doesn't she?
Presumably she doesn't mind if you're not really listening.

Sweetpea · 11-30-2009, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Blah! Nowhere near perfect*. Here's what she's missing and what'd she'd need adding and some of what needs taking away

:

1: Glasses (because Dorothy Parker was wrong)
2: Too much makeup.
3: Too little clothing, and not enough hats. One hat would do, mind, something strange, possibly hand-knitted and woolen. And plenty of layers; you know a frock underneath a big jumper that ends in some flat (not heeled) boots

4: The most important: where's her Liseuse? I'm afraid I can no longer be attracted to women who don't own a liseuse.

So, I don't have glasses, don't care for hats, and don't own a lisueasue.
But I don't like makeup, love to wear sweaters and can't even walk on heeled shoes. And I do own three ereaders....

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 09:53 AM

Because of this thread I've come to the awful realisation that I can't find any Dorothy Parker to buy or download anywhere! Curse you ebook world for not having any Dorothy Parker!!!

zelda_pinwheel · 11-30-2009, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Because of this thread I've come to the awful realisation that I can't find any Dorothy Parker to buy or download anywhere! Curse you ebook world for not having any Dorothy Parker!!!

well, on top of me discovering that even if you have the strange hand-knitted woolen hat and glasses, attraction *still* is not guaranteed (what more can anyone possibly ask for ???), this thread is just a heart-breaker all around, isn't it ?

take comfort in the knowledge that at least for dorothy parker you can always just fire up the scanner...

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

well, on top of me discovering that even if you have the strange hand-knitted woolen hat and glasses, attraction *still* is not guaranteed (what more can anyone possibly ask for ???), this thread is just a heart-breaker all around, isn't it ?

take comfort in the knowledge that at least for dorothy parker you can always just fire up the scanner...

It will have to be the scanner, damnit! And I've still got a backlog of stuff that I'm working on putting into digital. I mean, why are there no ebooks of Thomas Wolfe's work, or Charles Jackson's The Lost Weekend, or Banana Yoshimoto? Yet I can find countless, endless copies of Dan *he's not a real writer* Brown!!!

zelda_pinwheel · 11-30-2009, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

It will have to be the scanner, damnit! And I've still got a backlog of stuff that I'm working on putting into digital. I mean, why are there no ebooks of Thomas Wolfe's work, or Charles Jackson's The Lost Weekend, or Banana Yoshimoto? Yet I can find countless, endless copies of Dan *he's not a real writer* Brown!!!

it's a travesty !!!

(<-- actually completely sincere, although in a somewhat silly way, and have my own list as well.)

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 10:05 AM

Back on topic

But here's a piccie of one of my many crushes (yes I still have them, and I'm not giving them up, so boo to you!). Jennifer Jason Leigh (who by happenstance, played Dorothy Parker in the excellent Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle).

No hat, which is shame, but she's covering most of the rest of my wishlist

Maybe we should have another thread with 'piccies' of everybody's perfect mate (even those who aren't single, which would cause some fun 'discussions')

zelda_pinwheel · 11-30-2009, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

Maybe we should have another thread with 'piccies' of everybody's perfect mate (even those who aren't single, which would cause some fun 'discussions')

you trouble-maker !

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

you trouble-maker !

There's definitely a story in that somewhere, now if only I wasn't writing about Christmas, insomnia, mental patients, genius tramps and snow I'd have a crack at it

zelda_pinwheel · 11-30-2009, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moejoe

There's definitely a story in that somewhere, now if only I wasn't writing about Christmas, insomnia, mental patients, genius tramps and snow I'd have a crack at it

still teasing, i see.

(i think you should add it to the list, anyway.)

Moejoe · 11-30-2009, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

still teasing, i see.

(i think you should add it to the list, anyway.)

I will and I will call it...er...um....The Girlfriend Equation (or something similar)

11-30-2009, 04:32 AM	#1
TadW Uebermensch Posts: 2,583 Karma: 1094606 Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Italy Device: Kindle	The perfect girlfriend :)

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11-30-2009, 04:55 AM	#2
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	I know why she doesn't care...

11-30-2009, 08:03 AM	#3
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	Blah! Nowhere near perfect. Here's what she's missing and what'd she'd need adding and some of what needs taking away : 1: Glasses (because Dorothy Parker was wrong) 2: Too much makeup. 3: Too little clothing, and not enough hats. One hat would do, mind, something strange, possibly hand-knitted and woolen. And plenty of layers; you know a frock underneath a big jumper that ends in some flat (not heeled) boots 4: The most important: where's her Liseuse? I'm afraid I can no longer be attracted to women who don't own a liseuse. This opinion in no way reflects that of the vast majority of other men, or sane human beings for that matter. All opinions expressed here are born of Moejoe's twisted mind and should be taken as such. Attraction not guaranteed if you own a wooly hat, glasses and a liseuse. If you do not like this opinon, please ask for a refund. If a refund is unavailable, then a hug of some kind may be offered (also not a guarantee). If you are Dorothy Parker risen from the grave to prove a point about glasses and passes, Moejoe's real name is Dan Brown and he can be found somewhere in America.

11-30-2009, 08:14 AM	#4
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	Talks a lot doesn't she? Presumably she doesn't mind if you're not really listening.

11-30-2009, 09:53 AM	#7
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	Because of this thread I've come to the awful realisation that I can't find any Dorothy Parker to buy or download anywhere! Curse you ebook world for not having any Dorothy Parker!!!

11-30-2009, 10:05 AM	#11
Moejoe Banned Posts: 5,100 Karma: 72193 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: South of the Border Device: Coffin	Back on topic But here's a piccie of one of my many crushes (yes I still have them, and I'm not giving them up, so boo to you!). Jennifer Jason Leigh (who by happenstance, played Dorothy Parker in the excellent Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle). No hat, which is shame, but she's covering most of the rest of my wishlist Maybe we should have another thread with 'piccies' of everybody's perfect mate (even those who aren't single, which would cause some fun 'discussions')