Fantasy authors you (and I) should NEVER read

[wayrad]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

You get lines like an Orc complaining to a superior that Orc marines don't leave their own dead behind on the battle field - it wastes food.

Not the ickiest line in it, either... Yup, that's one book that didn't earn a permanent place on my shelf. I liked Rats and Gargoyles, but haven't really cared for anything else of hers, somehow.

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by dragonbone

OK, everyone is going to hate me, but...... the last 3 books of The Dark Tower series. Also that horrible Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.... does that count?

I didn't think The Graveyard Book was that bad. It was more along the lines of light reading for when your brain is out to lunch.

[JSWolf]

Another author I would star far far away from is Diana Gabaldon. She is just awful. Her Outlander series is one pile of compost. I would class her as really bad romance with a really stupid use of time-travel.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

One author I really don't like is Diana Gabaldon. Her books are just pure rubbish. I read Outlander because of a former GF and I really wasted my time.
[...]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

Another author I would star far far away from is Diana Gabaldon. She is just awful. Her Outlander series is one pile of compost. I would class her as really bad romance with a really stupid use of time-travel.

Your distaste for her writing would appear to be of the "double-strength" variety.

Cheers,
Marc

[Xenophon]

Originally Posted by wayrad

Not the ickiest line in it, either... Yup, that's one book that didn't earn a permanent place on my shelf. I liked Rats and Gargoyles, but haven't really cared for anything else of hers, somehow.

Two lines that, er... stuck... in my head were:

"Mother!"

(which is truly icky in context)
and also (while um... "enjoying the spoils of victory"):

"Pass me another elf, sergeant...

Spoiler:

this one's split!

"

(Spoiler tag for those who don't wish to be grossed out without warning).

The book was indeed rather longer than could be sustained by its central McGuffin. But it's a loving sendup of the genre, that I recommend to anyone with a strong stomach. Just be certain you don't take ANY of it seriously.

Xenophon

[nomesque]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

Another author I would star far far away from is Diana Gabaldon. She is just awful. Her Outlander series is one pile of compost. I would class her as really bad romance with a really stupid use of time-travel.

Funnily enough, I really enjoy the Diana Gabaldon books. She seems to put a lot of effort into research, but it doesn't come across that way to a casual reader ("I spent 5 days researching glass in the 1720's, so you're going to learn all about it, dammit!"). It was my husband who introduced me to them

So, can you elaborate a bit more about what you don't like? Excessive description? Unrealistic dialogue? Characters acting out of - umm - character? Accidentally dropping one of her books causing 9 broken bones in a foot?

[Slite]

Originally Posted by BenG

Actually I think she talking about the Circle of Light series by Niel Hancock. It had talking animals. The first book was Greyfax Grimwald; the second was Faragon Fairingay. It was one of the first fantasies I read after reading Tolkien. Or I should say, tried to read. I couldn't make it past the first quarter of the book.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niel_Hancock

Oh, I know she wasn't talking about Spellsinger, I just had to toss in the fact that Mudge is the coolest talking animal of any kind. Especially since BMB seemed to like otters

[wayrad]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Funnily enough, I really enjoy the Diana Gabaldon books.

Personally, I enjoyed the original series, but with the last couple the plot developments have become more and more ludicrous. (Last time I looked, Claire had committed bigamy again. Quite by accident, of course...again......)

[llreader]

I didn't read the entire thread (sorry...), but I have to vote Moorcock. Not because he is the worst, but because I love the idea of Elric, and the whole set up. But the writing is really abysmal, dull, colorless. I was surprised that so many people like his stuff, but Ï also was a big fan of books as a kid that I go back to now and find shockingly badly written. But the ideas were awesome.

Also, since someone mentioned Zelazny (who has a lot of good stuff), I recently re-read "The Changing Land". Wow, that was not well written. And mostly dull.

[llreader]

Originally Posted by curtw

If you made it all of the way through the first volume and part of the second, without realizing thatThe Book of the New Sun is science fiction, not fantasy, than you are probably not cut out to read and enjoy Gene Wolfe. His writing demands your attention to be understood, and he is not going to hand out enlightenment like Halloween candy. For most attentive readers, recognizing the photograph of Buzz Aldrin in the Library is the "aha!" moment.

Wow, Wolfe as a bad writer? The man is phenomenal. I can eat his prose with a spoon. Before the "Book of the New Sun" he was mostly known as a "writer's writer", with a good reputation among other writers but not a lot of public projection. Try "Soldier in the Mist", which is set in ancient Greece, using the amnesia plot device later used in Memento. Or, short stories. Anything. The writing in Shadow is riveting, elegant, eliptical. Sure, there is an aspect of mysogyny to the text, but I can overlook that for something that good.

Edit: OOPS! I see that there is a separate thread for sci-fi authors. Now this comment makes even more sense.

[Daithi]

I liked Steven Brust's Jhereg/Vlad series, so I had a lot of high hopes for To Reign in Hell, a book about the split between demons and devils, heaven and hell, and it also had some pretty good reviews by big name authors. Unfortunately, I found the book really, really, boring.

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by nomesque

Funnily enough, I really enjoy the Diana Gabaldon books. She seems to put a lot of effort into research, but it doesn't come across that way to a casual reader ("I spent 5 days researching glass in the 1720's, so you're going to learn all about it, dammit!"). It was my husband who introduced me to them

So, can you elaborate a bit more about what you don't like? Excessive description? Unrealistic dialogue? Characters acting out of - umm - character? Accidentally dropping one of her books causing 9 broken bones in a foot?

I really didn't care for Jamie. I thought he was just one dimensional at best. The Time travel ring of rocks was silly. The female lead (forget her name) was just not a strong character at all. The way Diana writes is not enjoyable. The effort she puts into her research and the way it comes across is just dull.

[JSWolf]

David Brin's Uplift series got me to stop at book 2. I thought book 1 (Sundiver) was not bad and had possibilities. But book 2 (Startide Rising) about the dolphins just bored me enough to stop it.

Another book I recently gave up on after 7 chapters was The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein. Chapter 6 was really poorly written and dull. I did give it another go at chapter 7 and had to forgo the rest of it.

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by llreader

I didn't read the entire thread (sorry...), but I have to vote Moorcock. Not because he is the worst, but because I love the idea of Elric, and the whole set up. But the writing is really abysmal, dull, colorless. I was surprised that so many people like his stuff, but Ï also was a big fan of books as a kid that I go back to now and find shockingly badly written. But the ideas were awesome.

Also, since someone mentioned Zelazny (who has a lot of good stuff), I recently re-read "The Changing Land". Wow, that was not well written. And mostly dull.

I love how we can all disagree and still be friendly as we talk about all this - certainly not negative, in my opinion.

So, with that said, I'll have to disagree with you about Moorcock (although, to be honest, I haven't read him in a long time).

I remember loving his work, especially Elric, but this was back when I was reading Howard, Carter, Leiber, et all, and just loved Moorcock's atmoshpheric writing.

I do want to go back and read one; in fact, I think I have a Freebie that's currently on my Sony.

I suspect there is a "right time" that when a reader discovers an author, then a special type of magic can take place. Then, as we grow older our tastes change, and maturity (of a sort) happens.

Anyway, I'd love to hear any dissenting opinions...because after all - this thread remains positive in almost all aspects of discussion.

Don

[llreader]

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

I love how we can all disagree and still be friendly as we talk about all this - certainly not negative, in my opinion.

So, with that said, I'll have to disagree with you about Moorcock (although, to be honest, I haven't read him in a long time).

You should go back and take a look and see what you think. I have known the story of Elric since I was a teenager (from D&D's "Demons and Demigods" no less!), and I thought the idea was brilliant, it has everything for a great story, an ancient, decadent race, an anti-hero (although Elric was a bit on the soft side, compared to the anti-heroes of today, but grim is in, you know), an inbred, genetically warped albino who maintains his heroic status through the use of drugs and magic, always balancing his power and weakness, who slowly becomes dependent on and enslaved to a horrific entity from beyond time (Stormbringer). Man, that is drama you can spread with a knife.

I was home sick last year for a couple of months, and got copies of the books, it was going to be great!

So disappointing. It was dull as toast. I remember getting to this passage in about the third (?) book, and just giving up.

Duke Avan was a man of about forty, with a square, handsome face. He was dressed in a gilded silver breastplate, over which was arranged a white cloak. His britches, tucked into black knee-length boots, were of cream-colored doeskin. On a small sea-table at his elbow rested his helmet, crested with scarlet feathers.
"I am honored, sir, to have you as my guest," said Duke Avan. "I know you to be Elric of Melnibonè. I have been seeking you for several
months, ever since news came to me that you had left your homeland (and your power) behind and were wandering, as it were, incognito in the Young Kingdoms."
"You know much, sir."
"I, too, am a traveler by choice. I almost caught up with you in Pikarayd, but I gather there was some sort of trouble there. You left quickly and then I lost your trail altogether. I was about to give up looking for your aid when, by the greatest of good fortune, I found you floating in the water!" Duke Avan laughed.
"You have the advantage of me," said Elric, smiling. "You raise many questions."
"He's Avan Astran of Old Hrolmar," grunted Count Smiorgan from the other side of a huge ham bone. "He's well known as an adventurer-explorer-trader. His reputation's the best. We can trust him, Elric."
"I recall the name now," Elric told the duke. "But why should you seek my aid?"
The smell of the food from the table had at last impinged and Elric got up. "Would you mind if I ate something while you explained,
Duke Avan?"
"Eat your fill, Prince Elric. I am honored to have you as a guest."
"You have saved my life, sir. I have never had it saved so courteously!"
Duke Avan smiled. "I have never before had the pleasure of, let us say, catching so courteous a fish. If I were a superstitious man, Prince Elric, I should guess that some other force threw us together in this way."
"I prefer to think of it as coincidence," said the albino, beginning to eat. "Now, sir, tell me how I can aid you."
"I shall not hold you to any bargain, merely because I have been lucky enough to save your life," said Duke Avan Astran; "please bear that in mind."
"I shall, sir."

And that passage was unremarkable. Just, no zip at all. "adventurer-explorer-trader"? What kind of dialog is that? As I wrote at the time, "It is enough to make Marlin Brando squeeze a damp towlette over his bald head and rub a finger across his gums every few minutes."

That said, Moorcock had lots of great ideas in there. My impression of his books is similar to what they said about The Velvet Underground's first show - only a few people were there, but they all went on to form great bands. I imagine he was an inspiration to a lot of people at a certain age, and would have been to me (who am I to judge, I was reading Andre Norton and Rob White back when). But it certainly isn't riveting prose.