Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 25

montsnmags · 07-22-2009, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

...

This one's for pshrynk...
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I dreamed that I was an acorn and a pecan!
Doctor: You must be nuts.

A bloke walks into a pub, and the publican says, "Hey, mate, you've got a steering wheel down the front of your pants". The man replies, "Yeah, it's driving me nuts!".

rebarnmom · 07-22-2009, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

A bloke walks into a pub, and the publican says, "Hey, mate, you've got a steering wheel down the front of your pants". The man replies, "Yeah, it's driving me nuts!".

ShortNCuddlyAm · 07-22-2009, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

A bloke walks into a pub, and the publican says, "Hey, mate, you've got a steering wheel down the front of your pants". The man replies, "Yeah, it's driving me nuts!".

yvanleterrible · 07-22-2009, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

A bloke walks into a pub, and the publican says, "Hey, mate, you've got a steering wheel down the front of your pants". The man replies, "Yeah, it's driving me nuts!".

... and it's a stick shift.

ShortNCuddlyAm · 07-22-2009, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

A bloke walks into a pub, and the publican says, "Hey, mate, you've got a steering wheel down the front of your pants". The man replies, "Yeah, it's driving me nuts!".

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

... and it's a stick shift.

Jaime_Astorga · 07-22-2009, 10:21 AM

What happened when Napoleon went to mount Olive?

Popeye got pissed.

Format C: · 07-22-2009, 02:54 PM

Sorry for my English...

News Flash: Berlusconi's helicopter falled down in a terrible accident. Safe and out of danger the pilot and 60 million Italians.

nrapallo · 07-22-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Format C:

Sorry for my English...

Sorry, but allow me to help with the translation (I've been surrounded by Italian and English speaking people all my life)...

Quote:

News Flash: Berlusconi's helicopter falled down in a terrible accident. Safe and out of danger the pilot and 60 million Italians.

News Flash: (Italian Prime Minister) Berlusconi's helicopter crashed in a terrible accident. Safe and out of danger were only the pilot and 60 million Italians.

columbus · 07-22-2009, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nrapallo;

Sorry, but allow me to help with the translation (I've been surrounded by Italian and English speaking people all my life)...

News Flash: (Italian Prime Minister) Berlusconi's helicopter crashed in a terrible accident. Safe and out of danger were only the pilot and 60 million Italians.

What about his supply of Condoms ?

Format C: · 07-23-2009, 01:00 PM

Thank you, Nick!!!!!!!!!

columbus · 07-23-2009, 01:31 PM

Happy birthday Marc!

nohmi2 · 07-24-2009, 05:59 AM

A letter in our local paper.

A grandson has been learning all about Egypt.

Walks into his grandma's lounge and announces, " I want to see the Great Sphincter of Egypt."

pshrynk · 07-24-2009, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohmi2

A letter in our local paper.

A grandson has been learning all about Egypt.

Walks into his grandma's lounge and announces, " I want to see the Great Sphincter of Egypt."

Wouldn't that be the Aswan Dam?

nohmi2 · 07-24-2009, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Wouldn't that be the Aswan Dam?

Good retort.

columbus · 07-25-2009, 09:42 AM

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"

"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi,
and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an
altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"

"4 months vacation and five good leads."

07-25-2009, 09:42 AM	#375
columbus Wizard Posts: 999 Karma: 5487540 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In my own imagination. Device: Sony Prs 650, 505	The confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the woman you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Volpe?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "4 months vacation and five good leads."

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07-22-2009, 10:21 AM	#366
Jaime_Astorga Member Retired Posts: 274 Karma: 4446 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Florida Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition	What happened when Napoleon went to mount Olive? Popeye got pissed.

07-22-2009, 02:54 PM	#367
Format C: Guru Posts: 753 Karma: 1496807 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Third World Device: iLiad + PRS-505 + Kindle 3	Sorry for my English... News Flash: Berlusconi's helicopter falled down in a terrible accident. Safe and out of danger the pilot and 60 million Italians.

07-23-2009, 01:00 PM	#370
Format C: Guru Posts: 753 Karma: 1496807 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: The Third World Device: iLiad + PRS-505 + Kindle 3	Thank you, Nick!!!!!!!!!

07-23-2009, 01:31 PM	#371
columbus Wizard Posts: 999 Karma: 5487540 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In my own imagination. Device: Sony Prs 650, 505	Happy birthday Marc!

07-24-2009, 05:59 AM	#372
nohmi2 Pensively observing. Posts: 1,758 Karma: 12675456 Join Date: Jun 2008 Device: Varied.	A letter in our local paper. A grandson has been learning all about Egypt. Walks into his grandma's lounge and announces, " I want to see the Great Sphincter of Egypt."