Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 24

Jaime_Astorga · 07-20-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I'm gonna put in a request that we not go further with the "zinger" jokes about dead people. They are funny to some, but totally lacking in taste. Thanks!

Aww, but I had some jokes about Napoleon I wanted to tell...

Bilbo1967 · 07-20-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime_Astorga

Aww, but I had some jokes about Napoleon I wanted to tell...

Too soon!

UncleDuke · 07-21-2009, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime_Astorga

Aww, but I had some jokes about Napoleon I wanted to tell...

no short jokes

Jaime_Astorga · 07-21-2009, 02:14 AM

What's the difference between a philosophy major and a Segway?

On rare occasions, the Segway can actually be useful.

doreenjoy · 07-21-2009, 02:50 AM

If I have to worry about political correctness here of all places, I'll just toddle off....

Bilbo1967 · 07-21-2009, 07:48 AM

One of my favourite jokes then:

Two beekeepers are talking at an international bee-keeping forum.

"I have 500,000 bees", says the first.

"Cool, how many bee hives?", asks the second.

""10" replies the first. "How many bees do you have?"

"1,000,000, in 25 bee hives".

At this point, a third beekeeper wanders over;

"How many bees do you have?", he is asked.

"10,000,000" he replies.

"Wow, how many bee hives for that many bees?"

"One"

"One!?"

"Yeah, they're only bees - f**k 'em!"

HarryT · 07-21-2009, 08:38 AM

Just to clarify - nobody is asking for "political correctness"; just for a bit of consideration before posting material which others may find offensive. "Jokes" about people who have recently died definitely fall into the "offensive" category; even "famous" people have friends and relatives whose feelings are worthy of consideration.

Just be considerate, please - that's all that anyone is asking for.

Thanks.

yvanleterrible · 07-21-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryT

Just to clarify - nobody is asking for "political correctness"; just for a bit of consideration before posting material which others may find offensive. "Jokes" about people who have recently died definitely fall into the "offensive" category; even "famous" people have friends and relatives whose feelings are worthy of consideration.

Just be considerate, please - that's all that anyone is asking for.

Thanks.

Here, here...

Alphapheemail · 07-21-2009, 04:49 PM

booo... the joke thread just got serious!

Jaime_Astorga · 07-21-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HarryT

Just to clarify - nobody is asking for "political correctness"; just for a bit of consideration before posting material which others may find offensive. "Jokes" about people who have recently died definitely fall into the "offensive" category; even "famous" people have friends and relatives whose feelings are worthy of consideration.

Just be considerate, please - that's all that anyone is asking for.

Thanks.

So... are religious, racist, and/or political jokes acceptable?

pshrynk · 07-21-2009, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime_Astorga

So... are religious, racist, and/or political jokes acceptable?

We try to stay away from racist. Yer on yer own with religious jokes. Political jokes are pretty much redundant, no?

badgoodDeb · 07-21-2009, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

We try to stay away from racist. Yer on yer own with religious jokes. Political jokes are pretty much redundant, no?

Either that, or they are specific to a single country.....

Jaime_Astorga · 07-21-2009, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Either that, or they are specific to a single country.....

Maybe if you leave a blank it works. For example, I have read the following joke told in this manner.

"What's the difference between the Hindenburg and <unpopular politician>?

One is a flaming Nazi gas bag and the other one is a blimp."

rebarnmom · 07-22-2009, 12:55 AM

Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a tightrope walker on the phone.
Doctor: Tell him I'm on another line.

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! One of my feet is 3 times bigger than the other.
Doctor: That's not a foot. That's a yard!

Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a ghost in the waiting room.
Doctor: Yes, I know. He has a boo-boo.

Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a lady in the waiting room putting lipstick on her head?
Doctor: Hmmm... Sounds like she's trying to make up her mind.

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! People tell me I'm not too bright.
Doctor: Hold on a minute while I turn on a light.

This one's for pshrynk...
Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I dreamed that I was an acorn and a pecan!
Doctor: You must be nuts.

rebarnmom · 07-22-2009, 12:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UncleDuke

no short jokes

How many words do they need to be?

07-21-2009, 07:48 AM	#351
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	One of my favourite jokes then: Two beekeepers are talking at an international bee-keeping forum. "I have 500,000 bees", says the first. "Cool, how many bee hives?", asks the second. ""10" replies the first. "How many bees do you have?" "1,000,000, in 25 bee hives". At this point, a third beekeeper wanders over; "How many bees do you have?", he is asked. "10,000,000" he replies. "Wow, how many bee hives for that many bees?" "One" "One!?" "Yeah, they're only bees - f*k 'em!" Last edited by Bilbo1967; 07-21-2009 at 07:58 AM.*

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07-21-2009, 02:14 AM	#349
Jaime_Astorga Member Retired Posts: 274 Karma: 4446 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Florida Device: PRS-350-SC: Sony Reader Pocket Edition	What's the difference between a philosophy major and a Segway? On rare occasions, the Segway can actually be useful.

07-21-2009, 02:50 AM	#350
doreenjoy 01000100 01001010 Posts: 1,889 Karma: 2400000 Join Date: Mar 2009 Device: Polyamorous	If I have to worry about political correctness here of all places, I'll just toddle off....

07-21-2009, 08:38 AM	#352
HarryT eBook Enthusiast Posts: 85,560 Karma: 93980341 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis 2, iPad Pro 10.5", iPhone 6	Just to clarify - nobody is asking for "political correctness"; just for a bit of consideration before posting material which others may find offensive. "Jokes" about people who have recently died definitely fall into the "offensive" category; even "famous" people have friends and relatives whose feelings are worthy of consideration. Just be considerate, please - that's all that anyone is asking for. Thanks.

07-21-2009, 04:49 PM	#354
Alphapheemail .a ribbon around a bomb. Posts: 639 Karma: 4334 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: sigh... ny Device: PRS700	booo... the joke thread just got serious!

07-22-2009, 12:55 AM	#359
rebarnmom Wizard Posts: 1,289 Karma: 4525055 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: rural Illinois, USA Device: Sony PRS-700 (traded in), Sony PRS-650	Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a tightrope walker on the phone. Doctor: Tell him I'm on another line. Patient: Doctor! Doctor! One of my feet is 3 times bigger than the other. Doctor: That's not a foot. That's a yard! Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a ghost in the waiting room. Doctor: Yes, I know. He has a boo-boo. Receptionist: Doctor! Doctor! There's a lady in the waiting room putting lipstick on her head? Doctor: Hmmm... Sounds like she's trying to make up her mind. Patient: Doctor! Doctor! People tell me I'm not too bright. Doctor: Hold on a minute while I turn on a light. This one's for pshrynk... Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I dreamed that I was an acorn and a pecan! Doctor: You must be nuts.