Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 62

ownedbycats · 09-18-2026, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nana77

LOL, why?

If that's toilet bowl cleaner (I can't tell), animal-derived products like caprylic acid (derived from milk) are sometimes used as disinfecentns and such.

nana77 · 09-19-2026, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ownedbycats

If that's toilet bowl cleaner (I can't tell), animal-derived products like caprylic acid (derived from milk) are sometimes used as disinfecentns and such.

Thanks, it's a toilet foam cleaner. The point to me is that, labeling "Vegan" a product without certifications, it's pure "marketing stuff"; it doesn't means it wasn't tested on animals nor that it hasn't ingredients like you mentions.
So laying for a foam toilet cleaner is quite a paradox itself imho.

ableal · 09-21-2026, 12:02 AM

"When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels."
"Why?"
"Sometimes."

DNSB · 09-21-2026, 01:58 PM

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.

DNSB · 09-21-2026, 06:04 PM

Why did the necromancer retire?
He just wanted to settle down and raise a family.

DNSB · 09-21-2026, 07:37 PM

Seems like a co-worker only gets sick on the weekends.
They must have a weekend immune system.

ownedbycats · 09-23-2026, 12:31 AM

People think being a waiter isn't a respectable job. But it puts food on the table.

Comfy.n · 09-23-2026, 12:43 AM

People say being a chef is too stressful. But at least you always know what’s cooking.

DNSB · 09-23-2026, 05:51 PM

A man dies one day and finds himself in Hell, much to his surprise.
The man has never sinned, he has attended church somewhat regularly and often gives to charity.

He asks at the gate if there has been a mistake to which the ferryman gives no answer.

He figures there is little hope for him, but somehow he will make the best of his situation.

He greets every demon with a smile, learns all of their names, he finds ways to keep himself somehow entertained as he is tortured, like counting every tile in the wall (yes, hell has masonry)

He's been there a while, it's hard to measure eternity until one day he spots The Devil himself.

He goes up and introduces himself, saying that despite everything it's an honour to meet him.

The devil returns the greeting and they make some idle small talk, until the man asks: "In all of Eternity, what is the one thing you are most proud of accomplishing?"

The devil smiles and replies simply "I convinced humanity that there was an alternative to this".

ableal · 10-05-2026, 03:03 PM

He's starting a business recycling discarded chewing gum. Just needs help getting it off the ground.

DNSB · 10-05-2026, 05:46 PM

Why do dragons hate paladins?
Because they taste so lawful.

Freeshadow · 10-05-2026, 06:36 PM

what does a lead guitarist play? - heavy metal.

DNSB · 10-05-2026, 08:59 PM

That was cruel and unusual PUNishment!

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!"

They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?".

They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!"

As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air.

Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?" The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the Christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way"

ownedbycats · 10-08-2026, 08:31 AM

A farmer asked his horse if it had stolen his thesaurus.

The horse said no.

DNSB · 10-08-2026, 11:13 PM

I found this question and reply I ran across rather humorous. YMMV,

"How is same sex marriage viewed where you live?"

"In Canada, we just call it marriage, and since it is not hockey, nobody really cares which team you're playing for."

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09-21-2026, 12:02 AM	#918
ableal Connoisseur Posts: 56 Karma: 886 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Lisbon Device: Kobo Clara HD (2018), Kobo Libra 2 (2022), Boox Go 7 (2026)	"When I eat alphabet soup, I only eat the vowels." "Why?" "Sometimes."

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09-21-2026, 06:04 PM	#920
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why did the necromancer retire? He just wanted to settle down and raise a family.

09-21-2026, 07:37 PM	#921
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Seems like a co-worker only gets sick on the weekends. They must have a weekend immune system.

09-23-2026, 12:31 AM	#922
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,897 Karma: 83456789 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	People think being a waiter isn't a respectable job. But it puts food on the table.

09-23-2026, 12:43 AM	#923
Comfy.n want to learn what I want Posts: 2,478 Karma: 9656785 Join Date: Sep 2020 Device: Libra Colour	People say being a chef is too stressful. But at least you always know what’s cooking.

09-23-2026, 05:51 PM	#924
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	A man dies one day and finds himself in Hell, much to his surprise. The man has never sinned, he has attended church somewhat regularly and often gives to charity. He asks at the gate if there has been a mistake to which the ferryman gives no answer. He figures there is little hope for him, but somehow he will make the best of his situation. He greets every demon with a smile, learns all of their names, he finds ways to keep himself somehow entertained as he is tortured, like counting every tile in the wall (yes, hell has masonry) He's been there a while, it's hard to measure eternity until one day he spots The Devil himself. He goes up and introduces himself, saying that despite everything it's an honour to meet him. The devil returns the greeting and they make some idle small talk, until the man asks: "In all of Eternity, what is the one thing you are most proud of accomplishing?" The devil smiles and replies simply "I convinced humanity that there was an alternative to this".

10-05-2026, 03:03 PM	#925
ableal Connoisseur Posts: 56 Karma: 886 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Lisbon Device: Kobo Clara HD (2018), Kobo Libra 2 (2022), Boox Go 7 (2026)	He's starting a business recycling discarded chewing gum. Just needs help getting it off the ground.

10-05-2026, 05:46 PM	#926
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why do dragons hate paladins? Because they taste so lawful.

10-05-2026, 06:36 PM	#927
Freeshadow temp. out of service Posts: 2,824 Karma: 24681012 Join Date: May 2010 Location: Duisburg (DE) Device: PB 623	what does a lead guitarist play? - heavy metal.

10-05-2026, 08:59 PM	#928
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	That was cruel and unusual PUNishment! An atheist dies and goes to hell The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a nice place to live in when they come down here!" They continue walking through the nice park, flowers everywhere, and the devil shows the atheist a garage full of beautiful cars. "These are your cars now!" and hands the man all the car keys. Again, the atheist tries to thank the devil, but he only says "Everyone down here gets some cool cars! How would you drive around without having cars?". They walk on and the area gets even nicer. There are birds chirping, squirrels running around, kittens everywhere. They arrive at a fountain, where the most beautiful woman the atheist has ever seen sits on a bench. She looks at him and they instantly fall in love with each other. The man couldn´t be any happier. The devil says "Everyone gets to have their soulmate down here, we don´t want anyone to be lonely!" As they walk on, the atheist notices a high fence. He peeks to the other side and is totally shocked. There are people in pools of lava, screaming in pain, while little devils run around and stab them with their tridents. Other devils are skinning people alive, heads are spiked, and many more terrible things are happening. A stench of sulfur is in the air. Terrified, the man stumbles backwards, and asks the devil "What is going on there?" The devil just shrugs and says: "Those are the Christians, I don´t know why, but they prefer it that way"

10-08-2026, 08:31 AM	#929
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,897 Karma: 83456789 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A farmer asked his horse if it had stolen his thesaurus. The horse said no.

10-08-2026, 11:13 PM	#930
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 55,510 Karma: 182544230 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I found this question and reply I ran across rather humorous. YMMV, "How is same sex marriage viewed where you live?" "In Canada, we just call it marriage, and since it is not hockey, nobody really cares which team you're playing for."