Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 52

DNSB · 12-21-2025, 12:24 AM

Did you hear about the guy whose nine-headed pet was stolen? He was really dehydrated.

DNSB · 12-21-2025, 09:34 PM

Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers.

poohbear_nc · 12-24-2025, 04:44 PM

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?

Jingle Smells!

ownedbycats · 12-24-2025, 08:58 PM

My friend often gets the words jacuzzi and yakuza mixed up. Now they're in hot water with Japanese gangsters.

DNSB · 12-25-2025, 01:30 AM

I was reading a highly recommended book. All I have to say is I found it to have all the tenderness, pathos and humour of a telephone directory.

ownedbycats · 12-25-2025, 05:39 PM

What’s the difference between a reindeer and a knight in shining armor?

One is slaying a dragon and the other is dragging a sleigh.

ownedbycats · 12-26-2025, 04:52 PM

A lady returns home late at night and finds one of her servants in her bedroom.

She approaches him and says "Take off my shoes." He takes off her shoes.

"Take off my dress." He takes off her dress.

"Take off my bra.", and he takes off her bra.

"And if I see you one more time dressing up in my clothes, you're fired!"

DNSB · 12-27-2025, 12:11 AM

Somebody just broke into my apartment and stole every lamp, flashlight, and lightbulb. I’m so delighted.

DNSB · 12-29-2025, 05:25 AM

Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

DNSB · 12-30-2025, 05:47 PM

On a recent trip to the park, there was a young couple carving a heart and their initials into a tree. It's just so romantic to see two lovers on a date and, for some reason, one of them is carrying a knife that Crocodile Dundee would approve of.

DNSB · 12-31-2025, 04:53 AM

This is the result of one acquaintance of mine sending me links to a mass of books by Thomas Erikson which he seemed consider as being very helpful.

He was very upset when my response was considering that Thomas is the only commonality in these books, that he might be the problem.

afv011 · 12-31-2025, 07:08 PM

Two blind animals are walking through a forest. One a bunny rabbit and one a snake. They bumped into each other and the snake says "I'm blind, can I feel you". Bunny nods. "You got big floppy ears and a wet nose and big cute eyes you must be a bunny rabbit" says the snake.

Yep the bunny rabbit says and let me feel you to see what you are. The Bunny rabbit touches the face of the snake and says "you have slimy skin, beadie little eyes and a slithering tongue, you must be a lawyer".

ownedbycats · Yesterday, 06:06 AM

How do you generate a random string?

Put a Windows user in front of vim and tell them to exit.

12-31-2025, 04:53 AM	#776
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	This is the result of one acquaintance of mine sending me links to a mass of books by Thomas Erikson which he seemed consider as being very helpful. He was very upset when my response was considering that Thomas is the only commonality in these books, that he might be the problem. Attached Thumbnails Last edited by DNSB; 12-31-2025 at 04:56 AM.

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12-21-2025, 12:24 AM	#766
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear about the guy whose nine-headed pet was stolen? He was really dehydrated.

12-21-2025, 09:34 PM	#767
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Dogs prepare you for babies. Cats prepare you for teenagers.

12-24-2025, 04:44 PM	#768
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 64,883 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle Smells!

12-24-2025, 08:58 PM	#769
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,434 Karma: 81367635 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	My friend often gets the words jacuzzi and yakuza mixed up. Now they're in hot water with Japanese gangsters.

12-25-2025, 01:30 AM	#770
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I was reading a highly recommended book. All I have to say is I found it to have all the tenderness, pathos and humour of a telephone directory.

12-25-2025, 05:39 PM	#771
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,434 Karma: 81367635 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What’s the difference between a reindeer and a knight in shining armor? One is slaying a dragon and the other is dragging a sleigh.

12-26-2025, 04:52 PM	#772
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,434 Karma: 81367635 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A lady returns home late at night and finds one of her servants in her bedroom. She approaches him and says "Take off my shoes." He takes off her shoes. "Take off my dress." He takes off her dress. "Take off my bra.", and he takes off her bra. "And if I see you one more time dressing up in my clothes, you're fired!"

12-27-2025, 12:11 AM	#773
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Somebody just broke into my apartment and stole every lamp, flashlight, and lightbulb. I’m so delighted.

12-29-2025, 05:25 AM	#774
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

12-30-2025, 05:47 PM	#775
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 49,252 Karma: 174632678 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	On a recent trip to the park, there was a young couple carving a heart and their initials into a tree. It's just so romantic to see two lovers on a date and, for some reason, one of them is carrying a knife that Crocodile Dundee would approve of.

12-31-2025, 07:08 PM	#777
afv011 Captain Penguin Posts: 2,969 Karma: 2079999999 Join Date: May 2009 Location: Seattle, WA Device: Kobo Clara BW, Kobo Libra 2, Nook Glowlight	Two blind animals are walking through a forest. One a bunny rabbit and one a snake. They bumped into each other and the snake says "I'm blind, can I feel you". Bunny nods. "You got big floppy ears and a wet nose and big cute eyes you must be a bunny rabbit" says the snake. Yep the bunny rabbit says and let me feel you to see what you are. The Bunny rabbit touches the face of the snake and says "you have slimy skin, beadie little eyes and a slithering tongue, you must be a lawyer".

Yesterday, 06:06 AM	#778
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,434 Karma: 81367635 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	How do you generate a random string? Put a Windows user in front of vim and tell them to exit.