Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 49

DNSB · 11-11-2025, 07:13 PM

Did you hear about the oil spill relief workers who cleaned 15 dolphins with a single box of borax? Turns out that, just like it says on the box, it’s a great multi-porpoise cleanser.

ownedbycats · 11-12-2025, 09:39 AM

To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. The process is painstaking.

ownedbycats · 11-12-2025, 09:46 AM

What happens when a microscope smashes into a telescope?

They kaleidoscope.

DNSB · 11-12-2025, 08:55 PM

How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three, the right, the left, and the final front ear.

ownedbycats · 11-14-2025, 03:00 AM

I’ve lost control… I don’t see an end… There’s no escape… I don’t even have a home anymore. Guess it’s time to buy a new keyboard.

DNSB · 11-14-2025, 12:58 PM

Did you hear about the fork factory with inconsistent quality control? It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.

ownedbycats · 11-14-2025, 02:28 PM

Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab. Things went sideways real fast.

DNSB · 11-14-2025, 09:51 PM

I just found a penny in my dryer’s lint trap, and I can’t figure out where it came from. But that’s ok, I love it when the world just makes cents.

ownedbycats · 11-15-2025, 01:36 AM

Our barn had a rodent problem so we got a cat named Nuclear Bomb.

He's a weapon of mouse destruction.

DNSB · 11-15-2025, 02:30 AM

What was the sale this week at the pet store? Buy one dog, get one flea!

ownedbycats · 11-15-2025, 08:33 PM

How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb?

Toucan do it.

DNSB · Yesterday, 02:16 AM

I was hoping to avoid vowel reduction in this dataset, but I seem to have failed. Put differently, I fought the schwa and the schwa won.

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11-11-2025, 07:13 PM	#721
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear about the oil spill relief workers who cleaned 15 dolphins with a single box of borax? Turns out that, just like it says on the box, it’s a great multi-porpoise cleanser.

11-12-2025, 09:39 AM	#722
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	To kill a French vampire, you need to drive a baguette through its heart. The process is painstaking.

11-12-2025, 09:46 AM	#723
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What happens when a microscope smashes into a telescope? They kaleidoscope.

11-12-2025, 08:55 PM	#724
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three, the right, the left, and the final front ear.

11-14-2025, 03:00 AM	#725
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I’ve lost control… I don’t see an end… There’s no escape… I don’t even have a home anymore. Guess it’s time to buy a new keyboard.

11-14-2025, 12:58 PM	#726
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Did you hear about the fork factory with inconsistent quality control? It was the best of tines, it was the worst of tines.

11-14-2025, 02:28 PM	#727
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab. Things went sideways real fast.

11-14-2025, 09:51 PM	#728
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I just found a penny in my dryer’s lint trap, and I can’t figure out where it came from. But that’s ok, I love it when the world just makes cents.

11-15-2025, 01:36 AM	#729
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Our barn had a rodent problem so we got a cat named Nuclear Bomb. He's a weapon of mouse destruction.

11-15-2025, 02:30 AM	#730
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What was the sale this week at the pet store? Buy one dog, get one flea!

11-15-2025, 08:33 PM	#731
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,374 Karma: 79699999 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Toucan do it.

Yesterday, 02:16 AM	#732
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,443 Karma: 174510100 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I was hoping to avoid vowel reduction in this dataset, but I seem to have failed. Put differently, I fought the schwa and the schwa won.