Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 43

DNSB · 09-30-2025, 08:16 PM

I once asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, "Not yet. We're still waiting for someone to come and claim you."

ownedbycats · 10-01-2025, 07:56 AM

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers. I really need to wash some mugs.

Cactus Chef · 10-01-2025, 09:03 AM

I went into the Barnes and Noble the other day and asked the service desk where the Self-Help section was, but the employee said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

ownedbycats · 10-01-2025, 12:03 PM

Customer: This steak is practically uncooked! Do you serve them all this way?

Waiter: No, sir. It's extremely rare.

ownedbycats · 10-01-2025, 12:08 PM

My vegetarian friend told me that people who sell meat are gross.

I replied that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

ownedbycats · 10-01-2025, 10:19 PM

How do you determine the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?

Give it a weigh.

ownedbycats · 10-02-2025, 01:04 PM

I have to admit that I have some grudging respect for the man who invented the guillotine.

He was just trying to get a head.

DNSB · 10-02-2025, 06:41 PM

Being a parent to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

ownedbycats · Today, 09:46 AM

I was telling my friend about a breakthrough that will allow electric cars to charge faster, how the river was really dangerous for swimmers right now due to how fast its going, and that someone got hit by lightning in the next county over.

He was impressed with my knowledge of current events.

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09-30-2025, 08:16 PM	#631
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,665 Karma: 172313956 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I once asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, "Not yet. We're still waiting for someone to come and claim you."

10-01-2025, 07:56 AM	#632
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers. I really need to wash some mugs.

10-01-2025, 09:03 AM	#633
Cactus Chef Guru Posts: 654 Karma: 8153118 Join Date: Apr 2019 Location: East Coast, United States Device: Kobo Sage, Kobo Clara HD, Galaxy Tab S5e, Kindle 4th Gen	I went into the Barnes and Noble the other day and asked the service desk where the Self-Help section was, but the employee said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

10-01-2025, 12:03 PM	#634
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Customer: This steak is practically uncooked! Do you serve them all this way? Waiter: No, sir. It's extremely rare.

10-01-2025, 12:08 PM	#635
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	My vegetarian friend told me that people who sell meat are gross. I replied that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.

10-01-2025, 10:19 PM	#636
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	How do you determine the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper? Give it a weigh.

10-02-2025, 01:04 PM	#637
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I have to admit that I have some grudging respect for the man who invented the guillotine. He was just trying to get a head.

10-02-2025, 06:41 PM	#638
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 47,665 Karma: 172313956 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Being a parent to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.

Today, 09:46 AM	#639
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,254 Karma: 77935877 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	I was telling my friend about a breakthrough that will allow electric cars to charge faster, how the river was really dangerous for swimmers right now due to how fast its going, and that someone got hit by lightning in the next county over. He was impressed with my knowledge of current events.