Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

I'm hoping that this thread is not only limited to jokes that are intended to be funny. Cause this is real people funny, including a very funny bit about a couple of those Kardashians.

The main article is about how the actual actual reading of books has reached a new low,

http://www.slate.com/blogs/normal/20...ead_tacky.html

The Pew Research Center reported last month that more than a quarter of Americans have not read a book in the last year, a proportion that has more than tripled since the late 1970s.

pretending to love books has become very cool.

But take heart! Books seem to be cooler than ever these days. In the Year of our Lord 2016, you can buy perfume and candles, duvet covers and sweatshirts to advertise that you love them. One can be “obsessed” with books now without being much of a reader

Now about those Karadshians:

Recall, if you will, this instantly iconic recent exchange between Kris and Khloe Kardashian:

Kris: “I’m obsessed with books right now. I’m reading a book about Le Courvoisier [sic], which is an architect. It’s so weird and boring, but I’m obsessed.”
Khloe: “No you’re not. And you’re not reading that book.”
Kris: “Well, I look at them.”
Khloe: “Right, you look at it. It’s not a real book.”
Kris: “It has words.”
Khloe: “Oh, ‘This building was erected in nineteen-whatever’?”
Kris: “Yes, it’s called history.”
Khloe: “That’s a coffee table book.”

[issybird]

^^"Le Courvoisier"! That's priceless. The intersection between alcohol and architecture.

[badgoodDeb]

Bravo to Khloe for calling it correctly: Khloe: “That’s a coffee table book.”

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Bravo to Khloe for calling it correctly: Khloe: “That’s a coffee table book.”

A book with legs... That's why I have difficulty keeping up with my reading list!

[orlok]

Why are married women often heavier than single women?

Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

[badgoodDeb]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

A book with legs... That's why I have difficulty keeping up with my reading list!

Actually, a coffee table book should make it easier to finish your reading list. They're all pictures. Per Alice (in W) : "“And what is the use of a book," thought Alice, "without pictures or conversation?” Kris K apparently agrees.

I have a coffee table book, The Complete Van Gogh by Jan Hulsker, that does has lots of pictures. Also lots of text so reading it (which I did when I first bought it) took a while. Now I don't have a coffee table to put it on so it sits on a shelf except when I feel like searching through for some particular drawing or painting. It would be quicker and more convenient (it must weigh at least 30 lbs) if it were an all picture coffee table book.

[orlok]

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig ?

The letter F?

[drjd]

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.

The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

[orlok]

On a beautiful summer’s day, two American tourists were driving through Wales. At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysili ogogogoch they stopped for lunch and one of the tourists asked the waitress, “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?”
The girl leaned over and said:
“Burrr… gurrr… King.”

[John K]

.
.
.
.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

[drjd]

The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"

[drjd]

Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!"

Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!"

[PieMan597]

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet his two newest eternal residents, and despite rivers of lava and torrents of brimstone, they’re standing around in jackets.

“Not hot enough for you?” asked the Devil.

“What, this? Nah, this is like a Spring day in Chicago.”

The Devil doesn’t take lightly to such a slight, so he decides to really turn things up. The renewed eternal hellfire and inferno has made the screams of the tormented souls in hell even louder. Rivers of lava overflowing their banks. The Devil goes to check on his two Chicagoans, and sure enough he sees them lounging in shorts and t-shirts.
“Not hot enough for you?” the devil queries bewilderedly.

“What, this? Nah, this is like a July in Chicago. In fact, I think the humidity was worse in the summer of ’96.”

The Devil is even more incensed. He comes up with a new idea. Turn the thermostat way down. The cursed souls in Hell are greeted by new but equally unbearable type of torture. The lava stops flowing, brimstone stops glowing, and wouldn’t you know it, the ground they stand on has frozen solid.

The Devil again searches out his two Chicagoans, and to his dismay, they’re hugging and cheering.

“What’s this all about!?” the Devil roared.

“THEY’VE DONE IT, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENED, THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!”

[badgoodDeb]

Good one!!

(a Chicagoan, more or less)