Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[John K]

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

[John K]

Katsunami's mom and dad came over to his place for a quick meal of sushi.

Dad asked if he had a newspaper handy.

"This is the 21st century Dad," he said. "We don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, use my I Pad."

That fly never knew what hit him.

[Glorfindel]

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by John K

Dad asked if he had a newspaper handy.

"This is the 21st century Dad," he said. "We don't waste money on newspapers.

Here, use my I Pad."

Along that line:

Mrs. Petrovich calls her son Ivan to the kitchen of thier Moscow apartment. "Yes, mama?" he says. Mama opens her purse and hands Ivan money.

"Here is 70 kopeks. Go the the newspaper kiosk. Get Isvestia for me, Pravda for your father, and Cosmonaya Pravda for yourself!"

"Yes, mama!", says Ivan, and scampers off to run the errand. One the way out the door of their building, he meets his father coming in.

"What are you doing?" asks papa.

"Mama gave me 70 kopeks and sent me to buy the newspapers."

"We don't need the newspapers", growls papa. "We have the radio!", and he grabs the 70 kopeks from Ivan and goes off to buy a shot of vodka.

Ivan returns empty handed, and tells his mother "I met papa on the way out. He said we don't need newspapers, we have the radio, and he took the money to buy vodka!"

Mama sighs and opens her purse again. "Here is 50 kopeks. Go to the newspaper kiosk, and get Isvestia for me, and Cosmonaya Pravda for yourself."

"But mama", says Ivan. "What about papa?"

"What about him!", replies mama. "Let him wipe with the radio!"
______
Dennis

[drjd]

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

"But mama", say Ivan. "What about papa?"

______
Dennis

OMG.. LOL ...

[Freeshadow]

That is rather true history than a joke

[orlok]

Joe took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

"Wow" said the Presenter "This is a very rare set of dogs produced by the celebrated John's Brothers, taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last Century."

"Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

"Sticks?"..... said Joe.

[Bookpossum]

Sticks!

[drjd]

During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"

With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."

"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."

[orlok]

A girl of seven walked into her mother's bedroom and asked her to tell her a bedtime story. The mother wasn't thrilled with the request. She said, "It's almost two in the morning."

"I know, Mommy, but I'd love to hear a story."

The mother said, "Okay, lie down in bed with me. We'll wait for your father and he'll tell us both one!"

[PieMan597]

I don't know why some people have such a hard time sleeping:

Spoiler:

I can do it with me eyes closed.

[crich70]

[crich70]

Originally Posted by drjd

During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!"

With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind.

"Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me."

"Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you."

[crich70]

Originally Posted by orlok

A girl of seven walked into her mother's bedroom and asked her to tell her a bedtime story. The mother wasn't thrilled with the request. She said, "It's almost two in the morning."

"I know, Mommy, but I'd love to hear a story."

The mother said, "Okay, lie down in bed with me. We'll wait for your father and he'll tell us both one!"

Ooopsie. Someone is in trouble.

[drjd]

Originally Posted by crich70

Ooopsie. Someone is in trouble.

There is a way provided to cure the latecomers :

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?"

The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."