Silliness Final sentences - Page 6

Dr. Drib · 01-21-2009, 02:43 PM

His smile was a nice, clean gash that split his face from ear to ear, due possibly to the axe I had just embedded into the lower half of his face, which made me realize with a certainty that bordered on the religious that this man would no longer try to con me into buying an American Made car, let alone a gas guzzler.

Don

(I need a loan of 875 Billion.)

desertgrandma · 01-21-2009, 03:41 PM

When they finally buried desertgrandma, she had every Agatha Christie book written on her Kindle.......but had never read a one because she was too busy noodling on mobileread, but she still died with a smile on her face..........

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-21-2009, 04:58 PM

The last cat watched the sinking ship silently, before turning to the last dog and opening his mouth to speak; but the dog beat him to it, growling, "I swear, Ollie, if you say to me, 'Stanley, this is another fine mess you've got us into' again, I will turn you into a tennis racket so fast that the sweet spot will still be steaming..."

UncleDuke · 01-22-2009, 12:03 AM

and that's the truth.

GeoffC · 01-22-2009, 12:55 PM

that's it for now, folks.....

vivaldirules · 01-22-2009, 03:08 PM

Vote for the ending: (a Decide Your Own Steeenking Fate Adventure Story?)

"After all of it was said and done, I had to admit to myself that the extended ordeal in The Lounge had changed me in ways that I couldn't possibly have foreseen even a month ago - and so I..."

A. "...posted a new thread to let my friends know of my newly discovered joy."
B. "...smiled and blew him a kiss before I clicked the Karma button."
C. "...turned my eyes to the clouds and pondered their curious behaviour for the rest of the day."
D. "...pulled out my revolver and plugged him just once more."
E. "...giggled as I reached for the detonator to bring an end to DRM forever."

pshrynk · 01-22-2009, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Vote for the ending: (a Choose Your Own Steeenking Fate Adventure Story?)

"After all of it was said and done, I had to admit to myself that the extended ordeal in The Lounge had changed me in ways that I couldn't possibly have foreseen even a month ago - and so I..."

A. "...posted a new thread to let my friends know of my newly discovered joy."
B. "...smiled and blew him a kiss before I clicked the Karma button."
C. "...turned my eyes to the clouds and pondered their curious behaviour for the rest of the day."
D. "...pulled out my revolver and plugged him just once more."
E. "...giggled as I reached for the detonator to bring an end to DRM forever."

E! I vote E! Only to stop the farking "Is DRM so bad, after all" endless threads.

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-22-2009, 04:29 PM

The moment he saw the bowl of pudding splat into Ted's face, he started running, even before the first guffaw came out of his mouth, because he knew that only a good head start would prevent Ted from catching and throttling him before he could stop laughing.

Wetdogeared · 01-22-2009, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

The moment he saw the bowl of pudding splat into Ted's face, he started running, even before the first guffaw came out of his mouth, because he knew that only a good head start would prevent Ted from catching and throttling him before he could stop laughing.

Reminds me of this Hasty Pudding..

Dr. Drib · 01-22-2009, 08:12 PM

I love these, as always.

But I do have a question:

I have about 3 or 4 new sentences, but they probably don't belong in this Final Sentence thread (which I think of as a kind of Terminal Sentence...you know, like Death).

So here's my question: How 'pure' is the Final Sentence?

NOTE: I'm waiting for someone to start posting on the thread I started, so that I don't bombard the thread with my Thomas Pynchon/Tom Swift/Kill-The-Felines current passion. (I love cats, by the way, and think they make the most wonderful bookends.

).

Don

ShortNCuddlyAm · 01-22-2009, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

NOTE: I'm waiting for someone to start posting on the thread I started, so that I don't bombard the thread with my Thomas Pynchon/Tom Swift/Kill-The-Felines current passion. (I love cats, by the way, and think they make the most wonderful bookends.

).

Don

I'm enjoying it far too much to want you to stop

(well, except maybe the feline-offing bits...)

Dr. Drib · 01-22-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

I'm enjoying it far too much to want you to stop

(well, except maybe the feline-offing bits...)

I posted one just for you.

No cats on this one, but the next one......

Don

Steven Lyle Jordan · 01-22-2009, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr. Drib

So here's my question: How 'pure' is the Final Sentence?

Well, up 'til now, it's been pretty pure... or at least relatively untainted. But no one's holding a gun to your head... if you want to alter it, go for it, and see what happens!

(I was actually thinking that, as entertaining as 2- to 9-paragraph-long sentences can be, it can be just as entertaining to distill a story's beginning (or ending) into a paragraph with... you know... more than one sentence. Sort of... I dunno, grammatical-like. But that's just me.)

Anyway, if you want to try something different, feel free. It's not like there are many of us who haven't corrupted a thread before...

Dr. Drib · 01-22-2009, 09:58 PM

I honestly don't know which one to go with, so here are both versions, with slight changes in the language.

Version One:
“He was horribly mutilated,” the coroner said to Inspector Davies, a thoughtful expression on his face as he recalled the body in the dumpster, but then I wondered what the differences were between “horribly mutilated,” and “mutilated.”

Version Two:
“He was horribly mutilated,” Gregson said to Inspector Davies, a thoughtful expression on his face, but then I wondered what the differences were between “horribly mutilated,” and “mutilated,” until I recalled the recent photos of Michael Jackson.

Don

desertgrandma · 01-22-2009, 10:11 PM

You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart.
The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After
a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop.
As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and
that's when you realize,

you have been listening to your ipod.

(I don't care who you are, thats funny!)

01-22-2009, 03:08 PM	#81
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	Vote for the ending: (a Decide Your Own Steeenking Fate Adventure Story?) "After all of it was said and done, I had to admit to myself that the extended ordeal in The Lounge had changed me in ways that I couldn't possibly have foreseen even a month ago - and so I..." A. "...posted a new thread to let my friends know of my newly discovered joy." B. "...smiled and blew him a kiss before I clicked the Karma button." C. "...turned my eyes to the clouds and pondered their curious behaviour for the rest of the day." D. "...pulled out my revolver and plugged him just once more." E. "...giggled as I reached for the detonator to bring an end to DRM forever." Last edited by vivaldirules; 01-23-2009 at 08:11 AM.

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01-21-2009, 02:43 PM	#76
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	His smile was a nice, clean gash that split his face from ear to ear, due possibly to the axe I had just embedded into the lower half of his face, which made me realize with a certainty that bordered on the religious that this man would no longer try to con me into buying an American Made car, let alone a gas guzzler. Don (I need a loan of 875 Billion.)

01-21-2009, 03:41 PM	#77
desertgrandma Enjoying the show.... Posts: 14,270 Karma: 10462843 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Arizona Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir	When they finally buried desertgrandma, she had every Agatha Christie book written on her Kindle.......but had never read a one because she was too busy noodling on mobileread, but she still died with a smile on her face..........

01-21-2009, 04:58 PM	#78
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	The last cat watched the sinking ship silently, before turning to the last dog and opening his mouth to speak; but the dog beat him to it, growling, "I swear, Ollie, if you say to me, 'Stanley, this is another fine mess you've got us into' again, I will turn you into a tennis racket so fast that the sweet spot will still be steaming..."

01-22-2009, 12:03 AM	#79
UncleDuke books & doughnuts Posts: 882 Karma: 37857 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: usa Device: sony reader, kindle2	and that's the truth.

01-22-2009, 12:55 PM	#80
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	that's it for now, folks.....

01-22-2009, 04:29 PM	#83
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	The moment he saw the bowl of pudding splat into Ted's face, he started running, even before the first guffaw came out of his mouth, because he knew that only a good head start would prevent Ted from catching and throttling him before he could stop laughing.

01-22-2009, 08:12 PM	#85
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	I love these, as always. But I do have a question: I have about 3 or 4 new sentences, but they probably don't belong in this Final Sentence thread (which I think of as a kind of Terminal Sentence...you know, like Death). So here's my question: How 'pure' is the Final Sentence? NOTE: I'm waiting for someone to start posting on the thread I started, so that I don't bombard the thread with my Thomas Pynchon/Tom Swift/Kill-The-Felines current passion. (I love cats, by the way, and think they make the most wonderful bookends. ). Don

01-22-2009, 09:58 PM	#89
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,613 Karma: 60184181 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	I honestly don't know which one to go with, so here are both versions, with slight changes in the language. Version One: “He was horribly mutilated,” the coroner said to Inspector Davies, a thoughtful expression on his face as he recalled the body in the dumpster, but then I wondered what the differences were between “horribly mutilated,” and “mutilated.” Version Two: “He was horribly mutilated,” Gregson said to Inspector Davies, a thoughtful expression on his face, but then I wondered what the differences were between “horribly mutilated,” and “mutilated,” until I recalled the recent photos of Michael Jackson. Don

01-22-2009, 10:11 PM	#90
desertgrandma Enjoying the show.... Posts: 14,270 Karma: 10462843 Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Arizona Device: A K1, Kindle Paperwhite, an Ipod, IPad2, Iphone, an Ipad Mini & macAir	You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart. The music is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring you down, and that's when you realize, you have been listening to your ipod. (I don't care who you are, thats funny!)