The Vent and Rant Thread

[trichobezoar]

If anyone's a bit disconcerted about my outbursts (concerning my sugar cravings), I have a Monty Python-esque sense of humor... It's also very corny and dry.

I blame my brother mostly--he was always watching Monty Python when I was a kid... Of course, I watched it a long with him! And now we both have a corny, dry and Monty Python-ish sense of humor. >.>

Anywho... *remembering previous posts* Some restrooms are yuckorama! Ugh.


EDIT:

Originally Posted by cromag

Hitch, explain to your client that he's using old inches. The inch was recently resized as preparation for our changeover to the metric system.

We're changing over to the metric system? For reals? *google searching*


EDIT EDIT: Oh, Hitch... I don't know what to say... I hope your situation improves soon!

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

@Hitch: Breathe deeply in .... and out .... whilst pouring a large Scotch ... and checking on your retirement funds balance ....

Maybe one of these? http://www.amazon.com/The-Original-B...oppo+the+clown

OMG!!! Do you know, I *totally* had one of those! Not to mention, one of my sister's cousins was on the Bozo show, back in the day (we're talking either the late 50's, early 60's) on...Wow, what was it? W-something? WNYW? No, that's not right, Channel 11, I think it was? And he's rather infamous in the family for having clearly enunciated "shove it, clown" on live TV.

Thanks @Pooh, you made me smile. I know that YOU know what it's like. In the workplace world, Pooh and I are are bruvvers from different muvvers.

Originally Posted by cromag

Hitch, explain to your client that he's using old inches. The inch was recently resized as preparation for our changeover to the metric system.

So, Cromag: are those you-know-what inches? Y'know, the reason that young women have so much trouble measuring things?

Yeah, yeah, I just HADDA GO THERE...you guys can't take me anywhere.

Honest to crap, could this week get ANY longer???? What worries me is, once I say that "aloud," (so to type), you know....

Hitch

[poohbear_nc]

Thanks @Pooh, you made me smile. I know that YOU know what it's like. In the workplace world, Pooh and I are are bruvvers from different muvvers

.

Several years ago, at my revered esteemed god-forsaken workplace, I found myself scouting all the buildings searching for a ceiling beam strong enough to hang a heavy bag to punch out my frustrations. People thought I was joking, or being sarcastic ... but I was serious .... of course, that was before I discovered this wonderful website with this therapeutic thread ...

And yes, I remember watching Bozo the clown on our B&W television.

[cromag]

Originally Posted by Hitch

OMG!!! Do you know, I *totally* had one of those! Not to mention, one of my sister's cousins was on the Bozo show, back in the day (we're talking either the late 50's, early 60's) on...Wow, what was it? W-something? WNYW? No, that's not right, Channel 11, I think it was? And he's rather infamous in the family for having clearly enunciated "shove it, clown" on live TV.

Thanks @Pooh, you made me smile. I know that YOU know what it's like. In the workplace world, Pooh and I are are bruvvers from different muvvers.

In the NYC viewing area Bozo was on Channel 11, WPIX. (WNEW, which is now WNYW, was Channel 5 -- home to Sandy Becker, Wonderama, and the New York Romper Room Franchise.) I was a watcher, too. I heard about, but didn't actually witness, the "Shove it" incident.

Originally Posted by Hitch

So, Cromag: are those you-know-what inches? Y'know, the reason that young women have so much trouble measuring things?

Yeah, yeah, I just HADDA GO THERE...you guys can't take me anywhere.

This is a family-oriented board. You can't go there.

Originally Posted by Hitch

Honest to crap, could this week get ANY longer???? What worries me is, once I say that "aloud," (so to type), you know....

Hitch

Rod Serling hopes you have a pleasant Wednesday, tomorrow.

[cromag]

My brother had one of those Bozo inflatable punching bags(?).

I had a Joe Palooka one.

[poohbear_nc]

Computer Adventures With My Boss -- HOLIDAY Edition

[Yes Hitch, things CAN get worse!]

So ... earlier this year we/I upgraded all the PCs in the company to new units running Win7. We kept the old HP printer/scanners - which sort of work OK with Win7 - scanning can sometimes be tedious.
But everything has been running OK .... until my boss tried to scan a document he needed to email to an NC state agency.

First clue of impending disaster: I walk by his office and observe him punching buttons on the printer control panel ... over & over & over ....
And he tells me that he has 'reset the printer to Adobe' - whatever that means.
[N.B. There is a dashboard icon on every PC's desk top that controls the printer functions.]
[Yes, everyone was taught how to use this dashboard]

Second clue: He denies any knowledge of having a dashboard icon on his desktop - even though I named it "HP Printer" - and continues randomly punching buttons on the printer control panel.

So ....

First step - I insert myself between him & the printer, turn it off, count to 10, and restore its base settings.

Second step - click on dashboard icon to reveal - TA DA! - the dashboard with a clearly labeled button "Scan Document"

Third step - I demonstrate how to scan a document - and place it on his desktop so he can easily find it.

Fourth step - I show him the icon and tell him to attach it to his email message.

My work is done here, right?

WRONG!

I walk by his office a few minutes later and see him staring intently at his monitor and repeatedly clicking the mouse. Foolishly I enter and inquire if there is a difficulty.

He says: I can't figure out how to email this scanned document. I've opened it using Adobe, but it won't email.

I wisely choose NOT to explain that his continued insane insistence on using AOL for his email, and NOT the corporate Outlook mail accounts, won't allow him to use the Email button in Adobe.

So I say: Open your AOL email in a browser and attach the scan to an email for the agency.

He says: OK - I can do that.

WRONG!

I walk by his office a few minutes later and observe him once again intently staring at his monitor and clicking the mouse.

[Breathe in & out, count to 10]

I say: Hi! Any problems?

He has managed to open his AOL email in a browser, but instead of creating a new email message to send to the agency, he is simply downloading the scan over & over & over using the download arrow in the browser menu bar.

[I feel my skull begin to shrink as my brain tries to crawl out my ear hole.]

I say: You have to open a new email message first, you know.

He: Oh right! [He clicks New Mail & keeps punching the download arrow]

I silently point to the paper clip on the email menu bar and suggest clicking that might speed up the process.

He clicks it and stares blankly at the list of files on his desktop.
I grab the mouse and insert the scan.
He promptly hits Send without putting an address in the To box.
I suggest he might want to type in the address, as the email cannot read the scan and find the address.

He: Oh.
And types in the address, and is about to send it with nothing in the Subject box or in the body of the email.
I suggest that a state agency might want a clue before opening an attachment in an email sent via AOL.
He finally fills in the Subject line and adds the same phrase in the body of the email and clicks Send.

I retire to the Server room, turn down the temp, and sit for several minutes, resisting the urge to review my retirement accounts and start throwing printers out the window.

Time needed for this task in the real world: 1 minute.
Time consumed for this task in my life: over an hour.

[steven522]

A recent newspaper headline left me feeling embarrassed to live in the USA. It referred to a rich ecosystem in one of our (USA) river deltas as being:

"America's Own Amazon"

I'm guessing the editors at the paper either do not realize that the Amazon is in America (South America) or that USA stands for the United States of America to differentiate us from the rest of the Americas that are not part of the United States.

[ProfCrash]

Originally Posted by covingtoncat73

Is it really that difficult for adult human beings to flush the toilet, not get pee all over the toilet seat, not leave paper towels and toilet paper strewn about the floor of the public restroom? Apparently, it is. My CATS have better bathroom hygiene!

Yeah, come and work were I work. The bathroom stories in the mens rooms are horrific (poop on the floor, urine on top of the urinals, under the urinals, next to the toilers.) Seriously, I think that there are a good number of men in my building who are not potty trained

[issybird]

.....

[wodin]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

.

And yes, I remember watching Bozo the clown on our B&W television.

You had a B&W television? I used to have to watch him on my crystal and cat whisker radio.

[wodin]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Computer Adventures With My Boss -- HOLIDAY Edition

<------ Snip -------->


Time needed for this task in the real world: 1 minute.
Time consumed for this task in my life: over an hour.

Yes Pooh, it's called job security!

[pidgeon92]

Originally Posted by covingtoncat73

Is it really that difficult for adult human beings to flush the toilet, not get pee all over the toilet seat, not leave paper towels and toilet paper strewn about the floor of the public restroom? Apparently, it is. My CATS have better bathroom hygiene!

Why is my husband's uncle at your home?

[covingtoncat73]

Originally Posted by pidgeon92

Why is my husband's uncle at your home?

ROTFL! Let me elucidate. This is re the usual state of public ladies room at work, which is used by a good number of grown women, so it is not just the guys, either. I am sure they are probably worse, though. LOL!

[badgoodDeb]

@Pooh: Are you allowed to say: Would you like me to send it for you? It would save you a whole HOUR of frustration. And him the same whole hour. Perhaps you could both have a glass of <insert favorite beverage here> afterwards.

[Hitch]

Originally Posted by cromag

In the NYC viewing area Bozo was on Channel 11, WPIX. (WNEW, which is now WNYW, was Channel 5 -- home to Sandy Becker, Wonderama, and the New York Romper Room Franchise.) I was a watcher, too. I heard about, but didn't actually witness, the "Shove it" incident.

YES! That's it, I couldn't remember, WPIX. TY for bringing that back to me. I used to love Channel 11, particularly on...Saturdays, I think it was? Used to run old movies all day? And, OMG, you mean that my sister's cousin is now urban legend? I did see that episode, mind you, along with his beaming (ahem) dad, and his brothers. It was pretty riotous, but of course, I was a kid. I'm sure his Mum (my step-aunt, as it were) was HORRIFIED.

This is a family-oriented board. You can't go there.

Grumble....

Rod Serling hopes you have a pleasant Wednesday, tomorrow.

You know that's just MEAN, right? That's it, I'm reporting you to the mods for cruelty to poor defenseless girls. Is there a drama queen emoty around here somewhere....

Hitch