Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 375

orlok · 11-16-2012, 11:52 AM

I'll never forget the last thing my wife said to me when she died last week - "See you in Heaven darling."

Since then I've robbed a bank, murdered my boss and set the local orphanage on fire.

Fbone · 11-16-2012, 01:58 PM

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

steven522 · 11-16-2012, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

See you in Heaven ...

Wife: "Walking into the forest late at night sure is scary."
Husband: "You think it's scary now? I'll be walking back out of here alone."

Bilbo1967 · 11-16-2012, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Did you hear about the butcher who stuck his finger in the bacon slicer to see what would happen?

She sued him for sexual harrassment!

Fbone · 11-16-2012, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

Did you hear about the butcher who stuck his finger in the bacon slicer to see what would happen?

She sued him for sexual harrassment!

No, I didn't.

Fbone · 11-16-2012, 10:44 PM

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

pilotbob · 11-16-2012, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

No, I didn't.

I thought I was the only one who didn't get that one.

cromag · 11-16-2012, 11:32 PM

I suspect if she was slicing bacon he was lucky she only sued him!

yvanleterrible · 11-17-2012, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

I suspect if she was slicing bacon he was lucky she only sued him!

Now, THAT was funnier than the original joke!

orlok · 11-17-2012, 12:15 PM

This new Thesaurus isn't just terrible, it's also terrible.

Bilbo1967 · 11-17-2012, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

No, I didn't.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

I thought I was the only one who didn't get that one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Now, THAT was funnier than the original joke!

I won't explain it, because having to explain jokes is just sad. I'm pretty sure plenty of people did get it.

I would say though, that I've been in situations where somebody tells a joke that I don't get. I normally just laugh politely and move on. It's a kind of good manners thing.

pilotbob · 11-17-2012, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

I won't explain it, because having to explain jokes is just sad. I'm pretty sure plenty of people did get it.

I would say though, that I've been in situations where somebody tells a joke that I don't get. I normally just laugh politely and move on. It's a kind of good manners thing.

I assume it is a cultural or language thing. Many jokes are a playon words or pronunciation of words. I see you are from the UK... so I know that applies. I don't feel bad that I didn't get it. But, it would be nice if you did explain it.

BOb

Bookpossum · 11-17-2012, 04:58 PM

The bacon slicer was a person slicing bacon, not a machine.

wannabee · 11-18-2012, 02:35 AM

Some elements of the gay lifestyle confuse me. Like I don't know the difference between transsexuals and stransvestites. As I understand it, transsexuals grow down from the ceiling and transvestites grow up from the floor.

Fbone · 11-18-2012, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

The bacon slicer was a person slicing bacon, not a machine.

Ok, thanks. It makes more sense now. I always pictured a butcher being male.

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11-16-2012, 11:52 AM	#5611
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	I'll never forget the last thing my wife said to me when she died last week - "See you in Heaven darling." Since then I've robbed a bank, murdered my boss and set the local orphanage on fire.

11-16-2012, 01:58 PM	#5612
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,318 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

11-16-2012, 10:44 PM	#5616
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,318 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

11-16-2012, 11:32 PM	#5618
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,765 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	I suspect if she was slicing bacon he was lucky she only sued him!

11-17-2012, 12:15 PM	#5620
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	This new Thesaurus isn't just terrible, it's also terrible.

11-17-2012, 04:58 PM	#5623
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	The bacon slicer was a person slicing bacon, not a machine.

11-18-2012, 02:35 AM	#5624
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS	Some elements of the gay lifestyle confuse me. Like I don't know the difference between transsexuals and stransvestites. As I understand it, transsexuals grow down from the ceiling and transvestites grow up from the floor.