The book dialog game

[poohbear_nc]

Yes! I used some of the distinctive, but lesser none, quotes from it!

Open the Pod doors to the next quotation Tom! Tom? Open the pod doors!

[WT Sharpe]

Okay. Here you go:

I don't think people really understand how essential we are to their sanity. If it weren't for the brief respite we give the world with our foolishness, the world would see mass suicide in numbers that compare favorably with the death rate of the lemmings.

[WT Sharpe]

Another:

I don't want to be irreverent, but I think you will all agree that whoever created sex certainly knew his business. Though everyone is crazy about it (those who are not are beneath contempt and will bear watching), the word itself, small as it is, seems to frighten more people than antidisestablishmentarianism, which as you all know is the longest word in the English language. Lyric writers, in particular, always delete that lovely little word and replace it with "love." No singer (even a tenor) would dare sing "Sex Is a Many-Splendored Thing." With this title the song would sell in the millions but the singer would be tossed in the clink by some morals committee. The charge? Inciting the public into doing what comes naturally.

[poohbear_nc]

George Carlin?

[WT Sharpe]

No, but you're thinking along the right lines. Perhaps another quote will help place the time period.

Don't laugh, but I think the logical successor to Chaplin is Skelton. Red, to my mind, is the most unacclaimed clown in show business.

[WT Sharpe]

Maybe this will serve to show it couldn't have been Carlin:

Millions of people, teetotalers all their lives, who had never been in a saloon or a night club and were indifferent to the joys of a highball or a martini, suddenly developed a yen for hooch. I was one of those millions. I never had a drink before January 16, 1920. It wasn't that I disapproved of it, morally, but I just didn't like the taste of the stuff. As a matter of fact, I still don't. I drink it now and then at parties to avoid being caught sober. But with the advent of prohibition, I came to the conclusion that if it was illegal there must be something to it that I had never discovered.

Well, in truth, Carlin could have made that statement, but didn't. For that matter, I never had a drink before January 16, 1920, either.

But the fellow who wrote that line was alive at the time to have had one if he'd wanted.

[poohbear_nc]

Will Rogers?

[Daithi]

I can think of comedians who may have said WT Sharpe's quotes -- W.C. Fields, Groucho Marx, Harold Lloyd -- but I can't think of any comedians who were also authors.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Will Rogers?

It wasn't Rogers.

Originally Posted by Daithi

I can think of comedians who may have said WT Sharpe's quotes -- W.C. Fields, Groucho Marx, Harold Lloyd -- but I can't think of any comedians who were also authors.

You just listed at least one who was an author. There have been many.

Here's another passage. It's rather lengthy, so I put it in a spoiler tag. It ends by quoting a telegram the author sent. It is indeed a spoiler, for when you read the final sentence of that telegram you will have no doubt as to the author's identity. But can anyone name the book?

Spoiler:

.....I'm not a particularly gregarious fellow. If anything, I suppose I'm a bit on the misanthropic side. I've tried being a jolly good club member, but after a month or so my mouth always aches from baring my teeth in a false smile. The pseudo-friendliness, the limp handshake and the extra firm handshake (both of which should be abolished by the Health Department), are not for me. This also goes for the hearty slap-on-the-back and the all-around, general claptrap that you are subjected to from the All-American bores—which you would instantly flee from if you weren't trapped in a clubhouse.
.....Some years ago, after considerable urging, I consented to join a prominent theatrical organization. By an odd coincidence, it was called the Delaney Club. Here, I thought, within these hallowed walls of Thespis, we would sit of an evening with our Napoleon brandies and long-stemmed pipes and discuss Chaucer, Charles Lamb, Ruskin, Voltaire, Booth, the Barrymores, Duse, Shakespeare, Bernhardt and all the other legendary figures of the theatre and literature. The first night I went there, I found thirty-two fellows playing gin rummy with marked cards, five members shooting loaded dice on a suspiciously bumpy carpet and four members in separate phone booths calling women who were other members' wives.
.....A few nights later the club had a banquet. I don't clearly remember what the occasion was. I think it was to honor one of the members who had successfully managed to evade the police for over a year. The dining tables were long and narrow, and unless you arrived around three in the afternoon you had no control over who your dinner companion was going to be. That particular night I was sitting next to a barber who had cut me many times, both socially and with a razor. At one point he looked slowly around the room, then turned to me and said, "[Author's name], we're certainly getting a lousy batch of new members!"
.....I chose to ignore this remark and tried talking to him about Chaucer, Ruskin and Shakespeare, but he had switched to denouncing electric razors as a death blow to the tonsorial arts, so I dried up and resumed drinking. The following morning I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.

[WT Sharpe]

And here's one more I'll throw in, although after that last clue, I'm sure the author's name will be no mystery.

I'm sure you all know what a miser Jack Benny is supposed to be. Actually, he's one of the most generous men I know, not only with his money but with his time and talent. He is the antithesis of the character he portrays on his television show.

[pdurrant]

The author is Groucho Marx. But I've no idea of the book title.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by pdurrant

The author is Groucho Marx. But I've no idea of the book title.

As I don't think anyone's going to come up with the book's title, I'm going to flip over all the cards and give it to you.

All the quotes were from the autobiographical Groucho And Me (1959) by Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (October 2, 1890 – August 19, 1977), American comedian, actor, and television host.

Paul, you're up.

[pdurrant]

Whoops! Wrong thread!

Spoiler:

Name the other half of these famous pairs. Not all of them are comedy double acts! One point each for first and last names. 30 points up for grabs in total.

Ernie Wise
Sue Perkins
Bobby Ball
Thomas Spencer
Ronnie Corbett
Lou Costello
Stephen Fry
Teller
William Hare
Jennifer Saunders
Eddie Large
Ginger Rogers
Chesney Allen
Dame Hilda Brackett
Oliver Hardy

[WT Sharpe]

How is this on-topic, Paul? Are you sure you didn't mean this one for the other quiz thread?

[pdurrant]

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

How is this on-topic, Paul? Are you sure you didn't mean this one for the other quiz thread?

Errmmm... Yes, I did. Whoops!

OK, a proper question for this thread.

"On the first of September 1651 I went on Board a Ship bound for London; never any young Adventurer's Misfortunes, I believe, began sooner, or continued longer than mine."