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Old 06-05-2011, 10:49 AM   #16
jtdolphins
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Originally Posted by DiapDealer View Post
I've always wondered: can it still be considered deus ex machina if the character actually is a god?
If the author has sit limits on the god's power, then yes it can be considered deus ex machina. For example, the god is fading from existence because he has few worshippers. He doesn't have much power anymore and barley clinging to life. Then he shouldn't be pulling powerful spells out of his sleeves. There was a series in the Forgotten Realms books that dealt with this idea long ago.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:01 AM   #17
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I'm put off by encountering a gratuitously disgusting or shocking scene or action. These needless images make me put down the book immediately and forever. Shock schlock is no substitute for good writing.

This happened in Thomas Harris "Black Sunday"
Spoiler:
graphic description of villain putting live kitten down a garbage disposal


and in Georgina Harding "The Solitude of Thomas Cave"

Spoiler:
graphic description of skinning baby seals alive and putting them back into the water for their mothers to try to rescue them
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:04 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by poohbear_nc View Post
I'm put off by encountering a gratuitously disgusting or shocking scene or action. These needless images make me put down the book immediately and forever. Shock schlock is no substitute for good writing.

This happened in Thomas Harris "Black Sunday"
Spoiler:
graphic description of villain putting live kitten down a garbage disposal


and in Georgina Harding "The Solitude of Thomas Cave"

Spoiler:
graphic description of skinning baby seals alive and putting them back into the water for their mothers to try to rescue them
Eeeewwww. Glad you spoilered those. I'll give both books a miss, even though I'm a fan of tough thrillers. That's just gratuitous.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:11 AM   #19
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^ I actually had no problem with the section in Harris' "Black Sunday". Yes, a bit tough, but I have read far far worse.

@orlok: Perhaps reconsider - "Black Sunday" is an exceptional book and IMO, a bit prescient given the times we find ourselves living in.

@OP:
- cheesy, non-sensical, never-happen-in-a-million-years dialog;
- obvious typos;
- poor/inconsistent formatting.
- overly long chapters.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:16 AM   #20
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^@orlok: Perhaps reconsider - "Black Sunday" is an exceptional book and IMO, a bit prescient given the times we find ourselves living in.
I have read most of his other books, not sure why I never got round to this one. I may have a go, just don't tell pooh_bear. Sssshhhh!
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:21 AM   #21
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I hate leaden prose by people whose relationship to language is that of a tone-deaf person to music. One such writer IMO is Dan Brown.
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Old 06-05-2011, 11:22 AM   #22
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^ Amen...
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:37 PM   #23
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I can agree with the whole "describing physical attributes." I'd rather come up with an image myself than have it told to me in detail. I only want to know physical attributes if it's relevant to the story somehow, i.e. a really muscular guy would need to be described so that some later feat of physical strength would be believable.

Also, and this applies mostly to sci-fi and fantasy, books that come up with all sorts of silly made-up words, which loses me because if every term is made up, it becomes impossible to tell what is going on. The biggest culprit I've noticed was Steven Erikson, I think he name was. I read the first book in his series, about 10 pages, and put it down because not only did he use bizarre names and places and events every sentence, he also referred to a bunch of terms that were made up and were simply distracting.

I think authors try too hard to create this all-enveloping world for their readers that they over-do it by trying to have some new and unique term every other line.
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Old 06-05-2011, 12:39 PM   #24
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  • Formatting - No space between paragraphs and no indents, creating an almost-wall-of-text.
  • Homonym fails - self-explanatory
  • Stupid words for various body parts
  • Unrealistic or stilted dialog - real people aren't grammatically perfect, and they use contractions.
  • Contrived lack of communication between characters because of something stupid for the purpose of adding tension - "But I was afraid if you knew I was allergic to cats you wouldn't love me anymore!" At least TRY to give the character a valid, realistic reason for hiding something, ya know?
  • Overplayed sympathy for the devil #1 - it's okay to make the bad guy be human and have weaknesses, but if I like him better than the good guy by the time the good guy wins, I'll be left confused, irritable and unsatisfied.
  • Overplayed sympathy for the devil #2 - If you're going to reveal that the bad guy is actually the good guy, try not to give it away in the first few pages, eh?
  • Lopsided love triangles - The guy who wins the girl should have more redeeming qualities than the guy who loses.
  • Showing off the research - You researched the book you wrote. Good for you, but I don't need 5 paragraphs describing something that has no relevance to the story just so you can justify your extensive research.
  • Glaring geography fails - like the lovers watching the sunset over the ocean on the East Coast of the US.
  • Glaring sex fails - She's petite, he's a giant. I'm 5'3" and I once dated a guy who was 6'7" - I KNOW what works and what doesn't.

That's all I can think of right now.
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:35 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by DiapDealer View Post
Elves. Orcs. Dragons.
Unicorns.

PHEW! my 3rd book has goblins, but distinctly no orcs or unicorns! (so far, still writing it)

Unfortunately my second book contians a minor scene with 2 dragons...

Last edited by VydorScope; 06-05-2011 at 01:39 PM.
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:49 PM   #26
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- Bad editing.
- Main characters which get on my nerves because they are silly or act stupid
- Opus Dei like organisations who secretly plot to rule the world
- Discoveries of long lost manuscripts or artefacts which will change the world's history
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:49 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by VydorScope View Post
PHEW! my 3rd book has goblins, but distinctly no orcs or unicorns! (so far, still writing it)

Unfortunately my second book contians a minor scene with 2 dragons...
That's okay, some of us love dragons. Well, I do, anyway.
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Old 06-05-2011, 01:58 PM   #28
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That's okay, some of us love dragons. Well, I do, anyway.
Oh I like the idea of dragons... or the threat of dragons... or an ancient, dead dragon culture spoken about in reverential tones. I just don't want them actually making an appearance.
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Old 06-05-2011, 02:07 PM   #29
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Oh I like the idea of dragons... or the threat of dragons... or an ancient, dead dragon culture spoken about in reverential tones. I just don't want them actually making an appearance.
So in other words, it's nothing personal against dragons, you just prefer they stay in the background. Way, way, way in the background. Which is funny, because my nickname used to be (and still is, in some circles) The Dragon, and some people feel the same way about me. Although, for different reasons, I'm sure.
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Old 06-05-2011, 02:11 PM   #30
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Oh then I am okay, cause the dragons are in the background of the scene.. alive, and well, but the scene happens in front (well between...) them. PHEW! My book is saved!
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