"The Three Laws of Zombiotics" - STORIES, PSEUDO NON-FICTION, POETRY, ETC. NEEDED

[carld]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Back to the music discussion, may I propose using Gloria Gaynor's disco anthem "I Will Survive" to taunt the zombies into uncoordinated enraged shambles dancing toward the minefield?

That works well except the ravening horde of undead coming up behind you. I mean, you are going to stay and watch the zombies get blown up right? Otherwise what's the point?

[DixieGal]

Geez, that's right. I would make a lousy tactician. My talents run more to "camp follower".

[Solitaire1]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Back to the music discussion, may I propose using Gloria Gaynor's disco anthem "I Will Survive" to taunt the zombies into uncoordinated enraged shambles dancing toward the minefield?

There is a very effective weapon against zombies related to this song:

[jes1]

So disco balls are the ultimate weapon against aliens. I wonder if they work against zombies...

But in truth, this is a great opportunity. We've never been able to study the effects of Zombie ooze ingested with ordinary food. We could never convince a test subject to eat the stuff.

I think a quarantine is in order

By the way, Jinlo. I considered your kind offer of studying me, but decided to decline. If I am in quarantine, there is no one to take care of my pets or significant other. I'm sure I can continue to care for them, in spite of my sudden addiction to brains.

[Solitaire1]

jes1 wrote as part of a post:

Originally Posted by jes1

So disco balls are the ultimate weapon against aliens. I wonder if they work against zombies...

Probably not as far as use as a weapon. However, it might work as an attractant since shiny objects might indicate the presence of humans (aka food) to the zombies that can still see, much like music can attract zombies that can hear.

However, if the zombie is actually a mobile virus hive (MVH) (as has been theorized in this thread and is slowly becoming the unified theory of zombieology), then it is possible that the cells could adapt and develop abilities that would help it seek out food. This could include variations on abilities native to the host body.

This relates to the behavior of zombies in the "Thriller" video. Since zombies want to attact people (aka food), some of the MVHs might realize that moving in interesting ways (aka dancing) can attract people.

The zombies start to dance and people gather around to watch them, fascinated by the sight. Then, the zombies attack since so much food has delivered itself to them.

[DixieGal]

Their all-protein diets will keep them trim, but no carbs leaves them with little energy for exercise. Could this contribute to the slow shamble of older zombies?

[jinlo]

Originally Posted by jes1

By the way, Jinlo. I considered your kind offer of studying me, but decided to decline. If I am in quarantine, there is no one to take care of my pets or significant other. I'm sure I can continue to care for them, in spite of my sudden addiction to brains.

Ok, so no quarantine. Perhaps we can just take your temperature and your blood pressure now and again. Of course, keep in mind that it's the temperature of the brain we're most interested in, so this could sting a little.

Originally Posted by DixieGal

Their all-protein diets will keep them trim, but no carbs leaves them with little energy for exercise. Could this contribute to the slow shamble of older zombies?

I'm not touching this one. There's no way I'm going to get on the wrong side of a senior citizen Zombie. They're not just dangerous, they're mean.

[jinlo]

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss the Second Law. There are many theories as to why a Zombie will not eat another Zombie.

Those that believe that a virus is responsible for reanimation tend to fall into two different camps. One theory is that an infected organism can sense the viral presence in another organism. Perhaps due to territorial respect or maybe because the virus simply knows it can not hope to displace the original virus, a reanimated corpse will not attack another such corpse. The second largely accepted theory is that the Zombie can differentiate between decaying and non-decaying tissue. It's like when we see a really moldy piece of bread and know that no matter how much peanut butter we use, it's not going to make tasty sandwich.

While these are the two main theories, there are many other speculations regarding the Second Law. Some believe that Zombies just don't taste as good as living humans. Others believe the smell is enough of a deterrent. (Would you eat something that smelled like that?) Of course there are also the theories involving topics discussed in this thread. The undead might need living tissue to re-energize, or they might need the chemical components of a living, non-infected brain and they just can't get these ingredients from another Zombie.

The reason the Second Law requires further study rests in the hopes that we can reverse it. Sure, some people want to approach the problem by determining what makes a Zombie want to eat Uncle Harry. I say, let's find out what keeps Uncle Harry from eating another Zombie when he joins the ranks of the undead. If we can reverse the Second Law, Zombies will eat each other and the possibility of an undead horde becomes extinct.

[NickSpalding]

Originally Posted by jinlo

I would like to take this opportunity to discuss the Second Law. There are many theories as to why a Zombie will not eat another Zombie.
.

I would ascribe to the theory that a disease does not attack itself. Cancerous cells attack healthy cells rather than other cancerous ones, and I would apply that logic to the undead as well.

Ther argument that they don't eat other zombies due to tastiness issues doesn't stack up for me as when faced with a) a freshly zombified fat person or b) a still living ninety year old bag of bones, then surely the slobbering monstrosities would go for the flesh in better condition?

I cite Romero here. They may have been a bit blue and crusty, but there was some good eatin' on the inhabitants of Monroeville mall, even in zombie state.

[NickSpalding]

Originally Posted by Solitaire1

This can give us a clue on how to deal with zombies. If the virus functions in a manner similar to bees or ants, then it would have a queen zombie virus cell that directs the actions of the virus as a whole. If you destroy the queen virus cell and prevent the creation of a new one, then the zombie will collapse since the individual zombie virus cells can do little without direction.

Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

[Solitaire1]

I wrote as part of a post:

This can give us a clue on how to deal with zombies. If the virus functions in a manner similar to bees or ants, then it would have a queen zombie virus cell that directs the actions of the virus as a whole. If you destroy the queen virus cell and prevent the creation of a new one, then the zombie will collapse since the individual zombie virus cells can do little without direction.

To which NickSpalding wrote:

Originally Posted by NickSpalding

Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

That seems to be a bit of overkill. Others in the thread have advanced many theories on how to deal with zombies that fall short of the use of nuclear weapons.

Among those mentioned are: head shots, high barriers, altering the virus so that the zombies attack each other, and altering the zombie metabolism so that they burn themselves out.

Of the above, I think the tactic that would be most effective against zombies would be to turn the virus against itself. A part of the zombie virus hive (ZHV) theory is that the virus forms a cluster of cells within the victim's brain that functions as the zombie intelligence center (ZIC).

A key tactic would be to cause the ZIC to see other ZICs as the enemy. One way to do this would be to activate a terrirorial response within the zombie which would cause them to seek out and destroy any rivals. If this can be done, then you'd be dealing with one zombie instead of a horde.

[derrell]

Originally Posted by Solitaire1

Of the above, I think the tactic that would be most effective against zombies would be to turn the virus against itself. A part of the zombie virus hive (ZHV) theory is that the virus forms a cluster of cells within the victim's brain that functions as the zombie intelligence center (ZIC).

A key tactic would be to cause the ZIC to see other ZICs as the enemy. One way to do this would be to activate a terrirorial response within the zombie which would cause them to seek out and destroy any rivals. If this can be done, then you'd be dealing with one zombie instead of a horde.

If it were possible to manipulate the ZIC through whatever means would it also be possible to manipulate individual virus cells? Possibly a vaccine could be derived from approach.

As for nuking an infected area that could be hard on any survivors. Not to mention that it always seems that at least some of the zombies always manage to survive. Then you just have the same problem over again just in a different area.

[jinlo]

Seems we have stumbled on that age old question of when to go nuclear with Zombies.

Obviously, the outbreak has to reach an extremely critical stage before the nuclear option is ever considered. You're not going to drop the big one just to take care of a few dozen Zombies shambling across the countryside.

The argument to utilize tactical nuclear weapons does gain substance, however, when the epidemic rages across large cities having populations in the millions. You've got a large concentration of Zombies shambling across an area of 50 or more square miles with hundreds of steel and concrete buildings. There are countless roads and alleys, possibly an underground rail system, as well as tunnels, bridges, and waterways. It's going to be a real problem to root out all the undead. And remember, it only takes one overlooked Zombie to start another horde. As derrell noted, there is also a large probability of non-infected survivors holed up in some apartment building or hiding in the back of convenience stores.

Let's face it, this is a big mess and alternatives are few. Quarantines with fences and concrete barriers are potentially useless with so many exit points to cover. Sniping will simply take forever. So, what's left?

Personally, I don't think a nuke is the best choice. I've seen the models, I know the blast radius will take care of far more Zombies than any other known weapon. Still, it won't get them all, and what's left is now going to be covered in radioactive fallout. Yeah, it might be easier to detect a Zombie when it's glowing in the dark and Geiger counters can now be used as an alert system, but having radioactive Zombies just doesn't seem like a move in the right direction.

[NickSpalding]

Originally Posted by jinlo

The argument to utilize tactical nuclear weapons does gain substance, however, when the epidemic rages across large cities having populations in the millions. You've got a large concentration of Zombies shambling across an area of 50 or more square miles with hundreds of steel and concrete buildings. There are countless roads and alleys, possibly an underground rail system, as well as tunnels, bridges, and waterways. It's going to be a real problem to root out all the undead. And remember, it only takes one overlooked Zombie to start another horde. As derrell noted, there is also a large probability of non-infected survivors holed up in some apartment building or hiding in the back of convenience stores.
.

You bring up an excellent point. Even if a point is reached when the zombie hoard have been more or less exterminated, I fear our military and civilian police services are ill trained and ill equipped to conduct thorough search and destroy clearance operations in large metropolitan locations.

As you say, it only takes one undead to spark off the entire problem again - with even less chance of curbing the onslaught due to serious lack of funds and resources (which will have been used up in the first wave of attacks).

Work should immediately begin on a zombie detection device. How this would work is beyond my techincal knowledge. Perhaps if experiments can be conducted on zombies to identify a chemical pheromone (or similar) that is unique to them, then a detection device can be constructed.

Either that or lure them out with 'bait'. Possibly the elderly or small children.

[Greenkeeper]

Originally Posted by NickSpalding

Either that or lure them out with 'bait'. Possibly the elderly or small children.

Imagine human sized mousetraps in subway tunnels and alleys. We can pay the homeless and poor college students to sit on them in shifts as bait