Corrupt-a-Wish

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

I wish I hadn't been reminded about the original Casino Royale

Granted. You were not reminded about the original Casino Royale. You never forgot about it in the first place. It has been playing tricks with your mind since you first saw it. And you can't get the image of a bagpipe playing Peter O'toole thankfully shaking Peter Sellers' sporan out of your mind.

I wish the director would hurry up and get a replacement for RuPaul to play Peter Sellers. It was most unprofessional for him to run screaming from the set when I bent over......

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

I wish the director would hurry up and get a replacement for RuPaul to play Peter Sellers. It was most unprofessional for him to run screaming from the set when I bent over......

Granted: The director has brought back Woody Allen to play Peter Sellers' role, and the game of Baccarat has been replaced by Gin Rummy. But your role now requires you to be dressed in dominatrix gear... you thought Ru Paul was scared before! (But interestingly enough, Woody seems noticeably attracted to it...)

I wish Peter Sellers had driven a VentureOne instead of a Lotus in the original movie.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

Granted: The director has brought back Woody Allen to play Peter Sellers' role, and the game of Baccarat has been replaced by Gin Rummy. But your role now requires you to be dressed in dominatrix gear... you thought Ru Paul was scared before! (But interestingly enough, Woody seems noticeably attracted to it...)

You know, I don't think Woody's smile whilst I dominatrixed him during the photoshoot was acting....

By the way, I wish you'd warned me that you'd been given Woody Allen's role as evil Jimmy Bond.... How are the hiccups?

Originally Posted by Steve Jordan

I wish Peter Sellers had driven a VentureOne instead of a Lotus in the original movie.

Granted. Sadly the Lotus temporal justice department identified you as the source of the temporal inconsistency and loss of kudos to the brand. The resultant temporal legal battle, which will probably still be on-going, resulted in an injunction against this wish, causing it to be immediately undone (note: genies do not argue with temporal lawyers). And if you think ordinary lawyers fees are bad, you should see the ones from time-travelling lawyers...

I wish Montsnmags Enterprises Research Department (Experimental) would provide a "Special Edition" VentureOne to Steve to "test drive" (hey, it should even make an interesting short story....).

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

...
I wish Montsnmags Enterprises Research Department (Experimental) would provide a "Special Edition" VentureOne to Steve to "test drive" (hey, it should even make an interesting short story....).

Granted: Montsnmags Enterprises provides Steve with the Venture One Special Edition. The SE is fitted with Gideon Drive and Resurrection Creche. How much do you like strawberry jam, Steve? Do you feel like some strawberry jam? Would you like to?

I wish everything in my head was real.

[Dylrob]

Granted. Everything explodes out your head, literally.

I wish Star Trek was real.

[UncleDuke]

Originally Posted by Dylrob

Granted. Everything explodes out your head, literally.

I wish Star Trek was real.

granted but you are in the wrong bane

i wish this character would stay in character for more than a page

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by UncleDuke

i wish this character would stay in character for more than a page

Granted. However, the character your character decides to stay in character with is the character of a little child that did not get the birthday present it wanted.

<genie promptly inserts earplugs>

I wish I knew how Steve was getting on with his VentureOne Special Edition.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by LazyScot

Granted. However, the character your character decides to stay in character with is the character of a little child that did not get the birthday present it wanted.

<genie promptly inserts earplugs>

I wish I knew how Steve was getting on with his VentureOne Special Edition.

Granted, Steve is getting on abfab with his VentureOne SE, so well in fact that they are on their honeymoon trip to Hawaii at the moment. When they get home however, Steve is arrested for indecent behaviour with an inanimate object, he tries to claim that since it has wheels its not really inanimate. But the courts overrule him and sends him to prison for 12 years!

I wish I could get my butt in gear and finish "On Basilisk Station" so I can start on "a Passage to India"

[radioflyertoo]

Granted - your butt is now in high gear, causing you to read at 100 gazillion words a minute. Hence every book in your domicile has been read and re-read and you can't by any others.

I wish I could decide on which new e-book reader to buy.

[Slite]

Originally Posted by radioflyertoo

Granted - your butt is now in high gear, causing you to read at 100 gazillion words a minute. Hence every book in your domicile has been read and re-read and you can't by any others.

I wish I could decide on which new e-book reader to buy.

Granted, you have decided, unfortunatley that particular model wont be relased until Q4 in 2017.

I wish I could make sense of the granting of my last wish....

[pshrynk]

Originally Posted by Slite

Granted, you have decided, unfortunatley that particular model wont be relased until Q4 in 2017.

I wish I could make sense of the granting of my last wish....

Granted. First you have to drink this liter of tequila, then kiss this pig...

I wish for this never ending and terribly annoying election to be OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! OVer, do you hear me? Quit hitting each other over the head! Quit calling each other names! AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Originally Posted by Slite

Granted, Steve is getting on abfab with his VentureOne SE, so well in fact that they are on their honeymoon trip to Hawaii at the moment. When they get home however, Steve is arrested for indecent behaviour with an inanimate object, he tries to claim that since it has wheels its not really inanimate. But the courts overrule him and sends him to prison for 12 years!

(FYI: A full disclosure of my VentureOne test drive is forthcoming, as soon as I work out the temporal jump settings on my secret belt-buckle and make parole... hopefully in about an hour. Warm up the popcorn!)

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I wish for this never ending and terribly annoying election to be OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! OVer, do you hear me? Quit hitting each other over the head! Quit calling each other names! AND WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

Granted. The election is over. Another one promptly starts. Do you know the theory from Hitchhickers guide that if anyone ever understood the universe it would instantly replaced with one infinitely more inexplicable? And that this has happened? Several Times? Well, this election seems to have been replaced with one even more annoying... They are now hitting you over the head with ever more improbably claims, counterclaims and hypotheses and several rain forests worth of election literature.

I wish the news reports would suffer from a sudden and ongoing shortage of superlatives...

[DixieGal]

Dear Pshrynk and LazyScot,

I reckon that y'all are becoming overwrought. Now you boys turn off the TV right now and go outside and play. Don't come back inside until the street lights come on. You know what they say, "All TV and no play makes Homer something something."

If you need a drink of water, you know where the hose pipe is.

Hugs & Kisses,

DixieGal

[radioflyertoo]

Granted - but now they reside in your living and babble 24/7 in one syllable words.

(I agree with DixieGal go out and play).


I wish a true speech recognition computer that can spell properly so I don't have to.