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Old 10-08-2008, 09:07 PM   #481
desertgrandma
Enjoying the show....
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Granted: Your invisible guru is my good friend Adrian, the invisible and inadvertently violent gibbon. Those clips over the ear when you get something wrong smart something severe, don't they? Also, now that you have "REAL computer knowledge", you discover the pleasure of every friend and family member you haven't heard from in years ringing you up to ask that you "fix my computer".

My wish is in my post above.
Ummm.......granted? You've just been sprayed by a family of not so clean skunks and can't wait to get into the shower. However, that still isn't enough, and your partner just kicked you out of the house.....and told you not to come back until you no longer reek. That should give you some motivation!

And, while my ear is buzzing, (damn monkey!)I do so love to help when I can. Nothing better than having the right answer! Thanks!
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:42 AM   #482
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No wish? That' no good...
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Old 10-09-2008, 09:33 AM   #483
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Granted. Instead of spam, there's a plenitude of unbranded luncheon meat.

I wish I had finished my lecture on Leibniz.
Nobody expects the Spammish inquisition!
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:07 PM   #484
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I wish someone would turn Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch into a movie, starring mostly ex-SNL alums, so we could all hate the movie and get over it all.
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:15 PM   #485
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I wish someone would turn Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch into a movie, starring mostly ex-SNL alums, so we could all hate the movie and get over it all.
Granted, but all parts will be played by Sylvester Stallone except for one which his mother will star in, and it will be directed by Dr. Uwe Boll. Don't you feel pleased knowing you caused this unholy trinity to be?

I wish I was one the Swedish moose milking team!
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:46 PM   #486
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Granted - but you must drink all the milk and all your malt scotch goes to me.

I wish my bottle of BOWMORE 17 year old was continuously full and I can drink it when ever I want with no thought or care to the results since they will always be good.
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Old 10-09-2008, 02:50 PM   #487
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Icanhasdonuts?
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Granted - but you must drink all the milk and all your malt scotch goes to me.

I wish my bottle of BOWMORE 17 year old was continuously full and I can drink it when ever I want with no thought or care to the results since they will always be good.
Granted, it's always full, with camel urin, but the bottle is labeled Bowmore. Yum!

I wish my dog would listen to my commands and actually obey them once in a while
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Old 10-09-2008, 03:25 PM   #488
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Actively passive.
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Granted: you told him to "play dead", and so he died.

I wish it wasn't so easy to visit death upon all Slite's wishes.
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Old 10-09-2008, 03:28 PM   #489
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Icanhasdonuts?
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Granted: you told him to "play dead", and so he died.

I wish it wasn't so easy to visit death upon all Slite's wishes.
Granted, from now on, every time the words "dead" and "Slite" enter your mind at the same time, your mind goes blank with the exception of an image of the majestic Moose

I really wish someone would resurrect my poor dog.
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Old 10-09-2008, 03:45 PM   #490
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Granted: but because I granted the wish, your dog came back as a moose.

I wish I could throw 180s when I play darts.
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Old 10-09-2008, 04:26 PM   #491
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Originally Posted by Slite View Post
Granted, but all parts will be played by Sylvester Stallone except for one which his mother will star in, and it will be directed by Dr. Uwe Boll. Don't you feel pleased knowing you caused this unholy trinity to be?
Flag on the play! Sly wasn't an ex-SNL alum... that was the wish! Fifteen-wish penalty on Slite! First down!
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Old 10-09-2008, 04:37 PM   #492
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Granted: but because I granted the wish, your dog came back as a moose.

I wish I could throw 180s when I play darts.


Granted, but that "when" will never arrive.

I wish for 3 more wishes.
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:02 PM   #493
ShortNCuddlyAm
WWHALD
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I wish for 3 more wishes.
Granted. You have only 3 more wishes ever, and short term amnesia, causing you to forget you only have three wishes left, and you squander them on wishing for mooses.

I wish I could get the garlic smell off my hands
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:04 PM   #494
pshrynk
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Granted. You have only 3 more wishes ever, and short term amnesia, causing you to forget you only have three wishes left, and you squander them on wishing for mooses.

I wish I could get the garlic smell off my hands
granted. But then, here come the vampires.

i wish I could figure out how to get this thread to go off topic.
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:06 PM   #495
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Granted. You have only 3 more wishes ever, and short term amnesia, causing you to forget you only have three wishes left, and you squander them on wishing for mooses.

I wish I could get the garlic smell off my hands
Granted. But it stays on your breath.

(it is claimed that rubbing wet hands with a pice of steel (cutlery? a small kitchen tool?) and then rinsing them is supposed to cause garlic or fish smells to vanish.

I wish that my to-do list was shorter.
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