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Old 01-12-2009, 06:08 PM   #316
Wetdogeared
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She came into my office wearing nothing but a grin and proceeded to tell me the tale of a century, whcih, due to HIPAA regulations, I cannot re-tell, therefore this story is about collecting match covers.
Which century?
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Old 01-12-2009, 06:10 PM   #317
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Which century?
I was thinking fourteenth...
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Old 01-12-2009, 06:10 PM   #318
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I was thinking fourteenth...
I was thinking b.
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Old 01-12-2009, 06:44 PM   #319
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She came into the office like a zeppelin, scared, male tenders in tow and a blaze in her eyes that set fire to all it fell upon, and all I could think was, "Oh, the humanity".
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Old 01-12-2009, 07:25 PM   #320
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Yo: That's 2 sentences! C'mon, Deb, you know the rules!
Hey -- it's inside the quote marks! Or don't my programmer's rules about "local scoping" matter here?? Fine; so make it another dash instead of a period.
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Old 01-12-2009, 07:40 PM   #321
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I was, like, totally impressed by the size of the weapons which the young warrior wielded when the innocent author, brandishing his new navel, had objected to her unconventional language usage - I was also impressed by the size of her swords.
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Old 01-12-2009, 08:06 PM   #322
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Penelope was the cutest little baby, except when she smiled, and then she was damned ugly.


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Old 01-12-2009, 11:25 PM   #323
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If it hadn't been for the powerful electro-magnet that I habitually run at full power whenever I'm in the office, the killer-bot would've taken me out as soon as it blasted through the door; instead, it veered left as soon as it cleared the threshold and barreled headlong into the wall, doing an effective job of taking itself out, while I watched from behind my armored desk and ducked flying bits of brick and plaster.
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Old 01-12-2009, 11:38 PM   #324
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It wasn't the sunrise that woke Bennie up... it wasn't the boat-horns, or the shift-whistles that went off every morning at eight; no, it was the almost-empty bottle of Thunderbird that finally tipped out of Bennie's hand when he shifted his other arm to better cushion his head on the table, causing its contents to flow across the table and soak his arm liberally... and even then, Bennie laid there for the better part of half an hour before his subconscious finally responded to the expanding chill and wetness in the fabric of his shirt and roused him from his stupor.
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Old 01-13-2009, 08:33 AM   #325
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We'll stop it at post #350.

Get those disgusting sentences in, your abysmal prose that's just waiting to come forth like pus from a popped zit.

Remember, post #350


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Old 01-13-2009, 08:34 AM   #326
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Sir Grantly Hawthorne III loved to talk about the time he spent in the desert successfully fighting raging giant Kangaroo Rats and gerbils as big as basketballs; that is, until the terrible diving accident at Desert Club left him paralyzed from the legs down and in a wheelchair; and now, once again hunting Big Game in the desert, he found himself trapped in his wheelchair which was half-buried in sand, unable to get any traction or movement as he frantically attempted to move the wheels, his legs useless appendages and certainly no help, while the dozen giant spiders fast approached, their hairy appendages scampering lithely over the shifting desert sands, which suddenly gave Sir Grantly Hawthorne III an idea to escape his predicament.


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Old 01-13-2009, 08:46 AM   #327
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Ms. Sarah Portmeister didn't walk into my office, she cruised in... much like a blimp, drifting in on the prevailing wind, barely clearing the edges of the doorframe; she even did a turn in the middle of the room, ostensibly assessing her surroundings, but to all the world looking as if those same winds were actually guiding her actions, before drifting over to the sturdiest chair in the room (at her size, I was sure she was expert in picking them out) and settling into it as a blimp settles into its moorings.
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Old 01-13-2009, 08:58 AM   #328
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If it hadn't been for the powerful electro-magnet that I habitually run at full power whenever I'm in the office, the killer-bot would've taken me out as soon as it blasted through the door; instead, it veered left as soon as it cleared the threshold and barreled headlong into the wall, doing an effective job of taking itself out, while I watched from behind my armored desk and ducked flying bits of brick and plaster.
Now that's a book I'd read!
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Old 01-13-2009, 08:59 AM   #329
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As she sat there, in the open cockpit of the Jeep that looked down from a rise in the dunes at the giant spiders swarming down upon the hapless Grantly, she couldn't believe she was even contemplating this; almost out of petrol, her gunner already gone, leaving the deck-mounted sub-machine gun without an operator, and oh, yes, there was the niggling little problem of her pathological fear of spiders, even now setting her skin to crawl at the sight of the disgusting monsters, even from this distance; but that was Grantly down there, the man who has saved her own father so many years ago, and in so doing, made her mere existence possible... the man she had once sworn to pay back for the favor of life he'd given her... the sight of him, determinedly struggling to prepare for battle, was all she needed to clench her teeth, throw the tired Jeep in gear, and pop the clutch, roaring down upon the milieu like a she-tiger on the attack...
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Old 01-13-2009, 09:01 AM   #330
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Now that's a book I'd read!
I'll take that under advisement!
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