Unutterably Silly Memorable FIRST SENTENCES - Only Yours, please

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

It was beginning to feel like torture, every time she had to go to old man Connery's office, and see Roger there in the reception room... God, would he ever just find a new job and leave, or would she be forced to endure his puppy-dog eyes, day after day, pleading with her to be weak once more, and promising (uselessly, she now knew) to show her why she was really better off with him instead of Daniel?

[GeoffC]

Take heart my friends, this is only the beginning of this magnificent adventure tome; hence the imminently impending catastrophe, that looms right before us within the next few nano-seconds, cannot surely happen; else the readers will have nothing to read in this monstrous magnifique tale of on and off love in and out of the Orient; together with enormously gigantuan alabaster pots of gold, wooden 10-masted 100-oared ships laden with mounds of spices, kangeroo dung and didgeridoos from ancient lands; artificial sayings, brilliant back-handers, wonderful psychiatrical fore- and after-thoughts, plus - it goes without having to remind the reader - lots of llamas in welsh valleys, pandas inside and outside of zoos, armadillos, blue fish with and without tails, and, last but not least, a veritable cornucopia of quips about socks, left and right (though more one side than the other), and finally introducing an even odder couple of newbies, namely Rightie and Marge, a pair of old but well-loved gloves used mainly for gardening, decorating, removing the aforementioned dung and other delicacies; pay heed; dear reader as we boldly march on into type with this tale of.......

[Dr. Drib]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Take heart my friends, this is only the beginning of this magnificent adventure tome; hence the imminently impending catastrophe, that looms right before us within the next few nano-seconds, cannot surely happen; else the readers will have nothing to read in this monstrous magnifique tale of on and off love in and out of the Orient; together with enormously gigantuan alabaster pots of gold, wooden 10-masted 100-oared ships laden with mounds of spices, kangeroo dung and didgeridoos from ancient lands; artificial sayings, brilliant back-handers, wonderful psychiatrical fore- and after-thoughts, plus - it goes without having to remind the reader - lots of llamas in welsh valleys, pandas inside and outside of zoos, armadillos, blue fish with and without tails, and, last but not least, a veritable cornucopia of quips about socks, left and right (though more one side than the other), and finally introducing an even odder couple of newbies, namely Rightie and Marge, a pair of old but well-loved gloves used mainly for gardening, decorating, removing the aforementioned dung and other delicacies; pay heed; dear reader as we boldly march on into type with this tale of.......

And I think we now have what will be part of the introduction. (Seriously.)

Don

[Dr. Drib]

Ok, I already have about 1/2 of the book formatted - that is, the sentences brought into BookDesigner.

I started to see connections and arrangements, so - tentatively - I have these chapter titles:

Introduction
Peeing
She Came Into My Office...
Love And Other Annoying Things
Dead Bodies And Other Accidents
Historically Hysterical Petticoats
Misc.
A Normal Day
Fictionally Speaking
Bologna With Pink Underwear
Such A Big Gat You Have
A Really Long Sentence
Medically Speaking
Reeling In The Sentences
Chocolate!
Children And Birds
Just Google It!
Futurity And A Few Aliens

As I mentioned, not all the sentences have been asssembled, so a few of these chapter titles may be insignificant. Additonally, the "Misc." category is a catch-all at the moment, but may need to be kept.

If I don't get any art or graphics, that will be ok. I'll proceed to assemble this so that all contributors can enjoy it. Remember, it's very simple for me to assemble a second edition, one with more sentences and with artwork later added.

Thanks to everyone. ---- If you have suggestions for chapter changes or additions, please let me know.


Don

[vivaldirules]

I exited the lecture hall after morning class and was disturbed again to note the greyness of everthing in sight - the sidewalks that connected the granite buildings were edged with the remanants of snow that had fallen weeks ago and yet still hung on the otherwise bare but imposing oaks beneath those depressingly sinister clouds - and I worried about the impact it all had on the mental health of the students.

[Dr. Drib]

Yeah, Vivaldrules - whose mental health? --- hahaha, I love it.


Don

[Dr. Drib]

Seriously --

All the "She Came into my Office" sentences are mine, with no one else contributing to that idea. Any contributors out there? --- This is just a play on the old detective story, with the detective sitting around in his office.

I don't want to dominate an entire chapter title.



Don

[vivaldirules]

There is only one really serious philosophical problem, and that is chocolate.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Here's 3 good reasons why I've not contributed any to that category

She came into my office like an airship fighting an ungainly battle with flying monsters.

She came into my office at just the wrong moment - I was enthralled with the thread I was reading on my favourite forum and didn't need the distraction.

She came into the office and the noise of the door opening distracted enough that I clicked the wrong square in Minesweeper, causing me to yet again not beating my secretary's implausible best score

[GeoffC]

She came into my office as if she owned the place; but seriously the impression of grandure was spoiled massively by the way she was swaggering like a duck wearing a soppingly wet nappy; and, as she shashayed into my best armchair, the ash, dangling precariously from the end of her cuban panatella, cascaded down onto my nice clean Persian carpet, there to be swept up by the auto-hover-bot and subsequently deposited into her right shoe.

[Dr. Drib]

She came into my office wearing nothing but high heels and red lipstick, and promptly sat on my lap, disturbing some of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle on my desk that I was currently working on, a 500-piece puzzle of intricate design and complexity consisting of a battleship and three other destroyers, so I told her to get up.


Don

[vivaldirules]

She came into my office and I realized immediately that even with the welcome sight of a warm soul in a chiffon cocktail dress that gently draped the curves of her beating breast I could not avoid the very obvious fact that her dress was still grey and that it was another Monday.

[vivaldirules]

You are about to begin reading Steve Jordan's new navel, God, The Things I Have To Put Up With!

[Xenophon]

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

You are about to begin reading Steve Jordan's new navel, God, The Things I Have To Put Up With!

Steve Jordan's new NAVEL????


Xenophon

[mjh215]

She came into my office through the backroom window, protected by a steel harpoon, and now she ducks in a closet and covers, awaiting Frank who would be passing soon...

-MJ