Silliness The fall of the UK

SameOldStory · 09-04-2010, 11:29 AM

There was much in the UK that was exemplary. But what's left seems to be disapering at a rate faster than light

Britain seeks ban on glass pint-glasses to prevent bar-brawl injuries
One pub patron contemplating violence.

UK bans Peking Duck

What next? A ban on Haggis, just because a few people a year die from the thought of eating it? BAH!
Haggis Could Vanish Due to Climate Change

It does look good, doesn't it? Mmmm.

Bilbo1967 · 09-04-2010, 11:35 AM

Oh, for God's sake!

Time to emigrate I think; I like beer (in proper pint glasses), Peking Duck and haggis.

But not many places make the English type beer that I like; maybe Belgium? But I doubt they have haggis widely available. Why is life so hard?

TGS · 09-04-2010, 11:36 AM

The first two stories are a tragedy...however, as someone who had to eat haggis on a weekly basis when I worked in a residential school in Scotland, I can't help but feel that the third represents a great advance for humankind and may contribute to the longevity of the species

poohbear_nc · 09-04-2010, 11:45 AM

Did you see that incredibly fiendish violent look in that pub patron's eyes? I could just feel that pint glass whizzing by my forehead! Whew!

GraceKrispy · 09-04-2010, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Did you see that incredibly fiendish violent look in that pub patron's eyes? I could just feel that pint glass whizzing by my forehead! Whew!

I thought she was just eyeing it with drunken lust, wondering if she could get to it before the photographer sucked it down.

Never had haggis (the name sounds very cool, the picture not so much and the description reminds me of some Navajo foods I'm not fond of), but couldn't they make up a new oven-type thing in which to cook peking duck? True pua'a kalua (kalua pig- the food stuff of the lu'au), is cooked in an imu, an underground oven, overnight. Most restaurants do some oven or crock-pot type deal instead. Can't something similar happen for peking duck?

poohbear_nc · 09-04-2010, 08:08 PM

Quote:

I thought she was just eyeing it with drunken lust, wondering if she could get to it before the photographer sucked it down.

Oh no - those cold calculating eyes are plotting the vectors necessary to launch that aerodynamically dangerous beauty!

happy_terd · 09-05-2010, 01:03 AM

recluse · 09-05-2010, 02:05 AM

Personally, I blame the Welsh.
You just can't trust a group of people who refuse to use vowels.

Sparrow · 09-05-2010, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SameOldStory

Haggis Could Vanish Due to Climate Change

Fear not! There will always be Macsweens Vegetarian Haggis (microwave ready in 8 mins)

.

SameOldStory · 09-05-2010, 09:51 AM

But does the aroma fill the house and start your mouth watering?

SameOldStory · 09-13-2010, 01:42 PM

Once upon a time it seemed like Britan rulled the world as well as the seas.

Where did it all go wrong?

Beaches too sandy, fish scare the kids

"One disgruntled wife declared that topless sunbathing should be banned because her "holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women"."

"Other British tourists found their holidays were spoiled because "the beach was too sandy" and "no one told us there would be fish in the sea; the children were startled"."

"We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

"We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

Can there be any hope for the UK?

Bilbo1967 · 09-13-2010, 01:56 PM

My favourite from that article:

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

It reminds me of when my wife and I were on holiday in Turkey. One of the other British tourists ordered a Turkish kebab. When it arrived, it was served with rice. The lady took one horrified look and said (in that loud, slow voice we Brits use to make up for the fact that we can't be bothered to learn foreign languages), "Chips. Chips; where are the chips?".

She literally couldn't grasp the context of a meal without chips

Makes you proud to be British; not!

dsvick · 09-13-2010, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

It reminds me of when my wife and I were on holiday in Turkey. One of the other British tourists ordered a Turkish kebab. When it arrived, it was served with rice. The lady took one horrified look and said (in that loud, slow voice we Brits use to make up for the fact that we can't be bothered to learn foreign languages), "Chips. Chips; where are the chips?".

She literally couldn't grasp the context of a meal without chips

Makes you proud to be British; not!

Don't feel too bad, most Americans probably would have raised a stink because the menu didn't have a cheeseburger and fries on it.

Lexi Revellian · 09-13-2010, 02:14 PM

What's bugging me at the moment are the tooth-grinding radio ads for whiskey, which finish piously, "Please enjoy alcohol responsibly."

How is that supposed to work? Imagine a teenager, about to get ratted, who hears the ad. "Oh,"he mutters to himself, "Perhaps I'll just stay in tonight and have a cup of cocoa and an early night."

It makes me want to get blotto and reel about shouting obscenities.

Sparrow · 09-13-2010, 03:39 PM

Portman Group propaganda?
Proves the drinks industry really does have a social conscience (and keeps the govt off their backs).

09-04-2010, 11:29 AM	#1
SameOldStory My True Self Posts: 3,126 Karma: 66242098 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Trantor, Galactic Center Device: Galaxy Tab 2 7.0	The fall of the UK There was much in the UK that was exemplary. But what's left seems to be disapering at a rate faster than light Britain seeks ban on glass pint-glasses to prevent bar-brawl injuries One pub patron contemplating violence. UK bans Peking Duck What next? A ban on Haggis, just because a few people a year die from the thought of eating it? BAH! Haggis Could Vanish Due to Climate Change It does look good, doesn't it? Mmmm. Last edited by poohbear_nc; 09-04-2010 at 11:44 AM.

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09-04-2010, 11:35 AM	#2
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	Oh, for God's sake! Time to emigrate I think; I like beer (in proper pint glasses), Peking Duck and haggis. But not many places make the English type beer that I like; maybe Belgium? But I doubt they have haggis widely available. Why is life so hard?

09-04-2010, 11:36 AM	#3
TGS Country Member Posts: 9,058 Karma: 7676767 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Denmark Device: Liseuse: Irex DR800. PRS 505 in the house, and the missus has an iPad.	The first two stories are a tragedy...however, as someone who had to eat haggis on a weekly basis when I worked in a residential school in Scotland, I can't help but feel that the third represents a great advance for humankind and may contribute to the longevity of the species

09-04-2010, 11:45 AM	#4
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 62,729 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Did you see that incredibly fiendish violent look in that pub patron's eyes? I could just feel that pint glass whizzing by my forehead! Whew!

09-05-2010, 01:03 AM	#7
happy_terd Banned Posts: 13,045 Karma: 10105011 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Finally made it to Walmart. Device: PRS 420

09-05-2010, 02:05 AM	#8
recluse Banned Posts: 3,724 Karma: 535488 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: the Mortuary Device: Kindle 2	Personally, I blame the Welsh. You just can't trust a group of people who refuse to use vowels.

09-05-2010, 09:51 AM	#10
SameOldStory My True Self Posts: 3,126 Karma: 66242098 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Trantor, Galactic Center Device: Galaxy Tab 2 7.0	But does the aroma fill the house and start your mouth watering?

09-13-2010, 01:42 PM	#11
SameOldStory My True Self Posts: 3,126 Karma: 66242098 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Trantor, Galactic Center Device: Galaxy Tab 2 7.0	Once upon a time it seemed like Britan rulled the world as well as the seas. Where did it all go wrong? Beaches too sandy, fish scare the kids "One disgruntled wife declared that topless sunbathing should be banned because her "holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women"." "Other British tourists found their holidays were spoiled because "the beach was too sandy" and "no one told us there would be fish in the sea; the children were startled"." "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white." "We booked an excursion to a water park but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels." Can there be any hope for the UK?

09-13-2010, 01:56 PM	#12
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	My favourite from that article: "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts." It reminds me of when my wife and I were on holiday in Turkey. One of the other British tourists ordered a Turkish kebab. When it arrived, it was served with rice. The lady took one horrified look and said (in that loud, slow voice we Brits use to make up for the fact that we can't be bothered to learn foreign languages), "Chips. Chips; where are the chips?". She literally couldn't grasp the context of a meal without chips Makes you proud to be British; not!

09-13-2010, 02:14 PM	#14
Lexi Revellian Groupie Posts: 172 Karma: 200001 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: London Device: Kindle keyboard	What's bugging me at the moment are the tooth-grinding radio ads for whiskey, which finish piously, "Please enjoy alcohol responsibly." How is that supposed to work? Imagine a teenager, about to get ratted, who hears the ad. "Oh,"he mutters to himself, "Perhaps I'll just stay in tonight and have a cup of cocoa and an early night." It makes me want to get blotto and reel about shouting obscenities.

09-13-2010, 03:39 PM	#15
Sparrow Wizard Posts: 4,395 Karma: 1358132 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: UK Device: Palm TX, CyBook Gen3	Portman Group propaganda? Proves the drinks industry really does have a social conscience (and keeps the govt off their backs).

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