Taking care of your Kobo ebook readers [Seriously not-serious! For Advanced Users]

[Dr. Drib]

I freely offer these handy tips in case an accident happens with your Kobo ebook reader.*

1) If you’re taking a bubble bath and drop your ebook reader into the tub, quickly rinse it off with lukewarm water to remove any soap bubbles before drying with a hair blower.

2) If you accidentally step on your ebook, always make certain that you first take off your boots to determine if any damage has occurred to the soles of your shoes or to your hardwood floor.

3) If you sit on your ebook, it’s important to first determine if any glass has embedded itself in your posterior. If so, carefully remove the glass, using a hand-held mirror and pliers for exact results.

4) Never leave your ebook in the car when visiting Arizona, Nevada, or New Mexico! If this happens, quickly turn on the air-conditioner and then carefully examine your seat or the dash board – wherever you happened to have left your ebook. If the ebook is too hot to touch, quickly cover it with a cloth or blanket until the ebook has cooled off sufficiently - which may take 9 or 10 months - when the season changes.

5) If your dog is cursed with a restless bladder, remove the dog from the site of the accident. At this point, you can elect to take a bubble bath and then quickly rinse off your ebook reader, removing all traces of urine, and then carefully wipe away all the soap bubbles before applying lukewarm water. After that, you may safely dry the unit with your wife’s hair blower. Always keep in mind that urine is very corrosive to ebook readers. They should never be immersed in the toilet, for example, even if it's clean.


Remember, the above tips are here for your benefit. I’ve used them on all 28 of my ebook readers, although (for some unexplainable reason), I currently have only one working unit.

Although I cannot guarantee that your results will be the same as mine, they most likely will be.

I hope I have been of some help in this matter regarding ebook safety.



* - Because we need to lighten up just a bit, eh?
All serious posts will be moved to the Rumors thread. Just kidding!!!

[doubleshuffle]

Your Kobo reader is not a football.

[oj829]

Do not taunt Kobo Reader.

[Smartie]

for tip 4, isnt easier that just put Ereader in ice bag?

[JSWolf]

Never use your Kobo naked. Shard of glass from sitting on the screen will embed themselves in your tush.

[TechniSol]

When using your kobo reader in lieu of a framing square, resist the temptation to secure it with a ten penny nail. Instead use staples as they're easier to extract by prying with a screwdriver.

While the Kobo makes for a handy hot plate to protect the surface of your table, take care to position it screen side up so the inset screen can serve to collect any drippings like gravy that may spill and mar the surface of your table.

Your Kobo is not a Frisbee. Toss it more correctly in the manner of a ninja throwing star. Honing the edges can be effective.

It is not suggested that you actually insert a physical bookmark into your Kobo when marking your place. Merely scratching the page number on the screen with your keys should serve well enough.

[doubleshuffle]

Your Kobo can serve as a coaster. This is an experimental beta feature though, since using it simultaneously with the reading function is not a smooth and seamless experience except for extraordinarily practised reader/drinkers.

[TechniSol]

Now we need to get that new feature added to Calibre's conversion routines. The one that leaves a round section blank on each page for the can or glass when being used as a coaster.

How are we ever going to explain the reduced text per page to the users that were annoyed by just the inclusions of headers and footers?

[slippy]

You store urine in your toilet? I flush it away immediately. Do you keep yours as a diy bleaching agent, or for some other function?

[meeera]

Originally Posted by slippy

You store urine in your toilet? I flush it away immediately. Do you keep yours as a diy bleaching agent, or for some other function?

Water savings, here. To me it's ridiculous to discard 4-10 litres of scheme water just because you peed. But we don't all live in a drought zone.

[slippy]

Fair one. Where I live, if you can't see the horizon it's because it's raining. If you can see the horizon, put a coat on, it's going to rain. ;-)

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by meeera

Water savings, here. To me it's ridiculous to discard 4-10 litres of scheme water just because you peed. But we don't all live in a drought zone.

If you don't want the pee in the toilet and you don't want to use the water to flush it away, just go pee outside.

[Kasper Hviid]

Here's a nice tip: That there Suduko thing can be used for a nice game of tic tac toe if you invest in a marker!

[JSWolf]

Originally Posted by Kasper Hviid

Here's a nice tip: That there Suduko thing can be used for a nice game of tic tac toe if you invest in a marker!

Make sure you use a black sharpie.

[murg]

If #4 should happen, remember that you can use your eReader to cook eggs...