How would you do it?

Darkitow · 01-16-2011, 11:10 PM

Hi everybody! I come here with a fishy issue, which is a little (actually, not) story about fantasy and some steampunkish science fiction. I have some sort of plot dilemma, and I've gotten to some sort of dead end because I can't think about a way to solve this part of the story without changing the "premises" I wanna keep.

So, in this story, the main character is a human girl, who for some unknown reason (at that point), has gained incredible magical powers, far superior than any of the powers of her other six companions (although they seem to be a mixture of them all). Some of those powers are rather obscure, and she still doesn't have a hold of them yet, affecting her instincts sometimes. One of those companions is an angel. Literally. The girl and the angel develop a very intense romantic relation (by intense I don't mean sexual and stuff, just very very full of love, lol).

There's a moment of the story where she kills him. In a cool-blooded and heartless way.

But, there comes the problem: I want this act to be completely conscious and lucid. Even if her new powers have changed a bit her character into a slighty "anti-hero" mood, she still loves him, with all the might of her heart. But she kills him.

No, he doesn't do anything wrong, not even something that she took as a wrong action, and killing him won't save the universe, not even a puppy. It won't benefit her in any realistic way, if we don't count the later self-control that the main character regains of her instincts, but she doesn't know this would happen. In fact, what I mean is that there's not a good reason, nor altruistic one, to do so.

On top of that, in the future, he will come back to life, and not in the DBZ way where everybody does (I mean, that resurrecting won't be a crapfest of my book, it has a good explanation of it and could happen again to other people, but the odds are harder than the sea turning blood tomorrow). When he comes back, he will gain new powers (as he won't be an angel anymore, not completely), he will be driven by revenge and try to take on the girl from killing him, at first without letting her to know who is her new enemy, but later they discover it. Later they make up, but we can have a feel that their relation has come into a bit not too sane relation, lol.

Nobody and I mean, NOBODY (except the guy after it happens) knows that somebody could come back from the dead and that he would do stronger. I mean that this wasn't some sort of cold-blooded-but-right-action to make him stronger, when she kills him, is to leave him dead and buried.

So, why would she do it? This drives me nuts because I can't figure it out... How can I make her kill him, wanting to and not being insane or possessed, without him doing anything wrong, and without hopes to recover him (even if this happens later)? ARRGH. Dx

jbcohen · 01-16-2011, 11:14 PM

My advice to writers has always been to read the masters of their genre. In your case Robert Jordan and Gregory R. R. Martin. Get yourself a copy of some of their works and read what they wrote and see how they develop plots and how they solve problems in their books.

Luke King · 01-18-2011, 03:27 AM

Maybe she knows (through her powers) that he's going to do something bad.

mr ploppy · 01-18-2011, 06:24 AM

It was that time of the month...

(ducks)

caleb72 · 01-18-2011, 08:03 AM

Because with that much power it's easy to destroy. She could be watching what she is doing from a cool distance fascinated by what her actions are doing - lucid but also removed.

Regards
Caleb

mediax · 01-18-2011, 08:19 AM

Developing Caleb's idea a little, if she doesn't know the full extent of her powers maybe she's trying to find their limits (think children pushing boundaries, but with lethal weapons). If her powers only work when she "means it", but she doesn't think they extend as far as killing someone, then she could "really try" to kill him while not actually expecting to succeed. I'm not sure if this is anywhere near what you've got in mind.

It would mean that the killing could be totally cold and lucid, but I'm not sure how you'd deal with the emotional after-effects of killing her love - unless you've already got some ideas about that.

bthrowsnaill · 01-18-2011, 11:19 AM

This killing seems like it could be the core plot (and thematic?) element of the story, so I'm not sure that you should be backing into it vs. figuring it out first and letting the rest of the story fall into place around it. That being said, if you want it to be a completely lucid act, then it would have to be love turned to hatred. Maybe he "cheats" on her emotionally, or she finds that he is emotionally involved with her sworn enemy?

DixieGal · 01-18-2011, 11:36 AM

Honestly, the whole super power, then killing him and then having him come back to exact revenge against the main character sounds like a bad idea. The story does not seem to have a central theme to pivot around, but instead is two books. Whatever leads her to realize that she must kill him should be the climax, and the act itself and the changes it makes in her should be the conclusion. If you want him to come back, leave that for the sequel.

DixieGal · 01-18-2011, 11:39 AM

Oops, Bthrowsnail beat me to it.

GeoffC · 01-18-2011, 12:15 PM

Mistaken identity - she thought he was someone/thing else.

He ate all her chocolate

Growing pains - (of the power).

James_Wilde · 01-18-2011, 03:30 PM

How about psychopathic overreaction to a triviality? This gives you a way for them to get back together later. If she's psychopathic she's likely to act unpredictably. And anyway, she's punished him for whatever it was he did so he's forgiven.

WPotocki · 01-18-2011, 05:26 PM

I think bthrowsnaill hit it best.

I don't think you're into your character enough. Motivations should always be an outgrowth of what your character is. It's up to your character to tell you - and for you to discover. When mine start speaking to me, I know their favorite color and it's not one I selected for them.

What you have is the skeleton of a story - which is great. You need this boundary established, but it's in the writing, the colors and details will fill in. You have to trust that it will. You came up with this character and the story, didn't you? Your character will come up with why she does things and why she doesn't. You need to stop "thinking," and let her speak. You do this by writing the story and just letting it flow.

I'm not saying that writers never need help - I would suppose that most of us do. I'm just saying that it's always best to let your characters speak. You created them so let them say what they have to say. Sit back and watch the action happen.

A couple of days ago, I just started a new story with this one character. I thought I had her background mapped out, but no! She revealed a secret early on that I didn't know she had. I stopped writing thinking, "Does this really work within the confines of the story I constructed?" The answer was that of course it does. It only lets me know I'm doing the right thing in breathing life into her.

I'd be very interested in what happens if you just trust the process and begin writing those scenes. Bet something comes up that surprises you.

Good luck.

01-16-2011, 11:10 PM	#1
Darkitow Enthusiast Posts: 43 Karma: 230 Join Date: Jan 2011 Device: Kindle 3	How would you do it? Hi everybody! I come here with a fishy issue, which is a little (actually, not) story about fantasy and some steampunkish science fiction. I have some sort of plot dilemma, and I've gotten to some sort of dead end because I can't think about a way to solve this part of the story without changing the "premises" I wanna keep. So, in this story, the main character is a human girl, who for some unknown reason (at that point), has gained incredible magical powers, far superior than any of the powers of her other six companions (although they seem to be a mixture of them all). Some of those powers are rather obscure, and she still doesn't have a hold of them yet, affecting her instincts sometimes. One of those companions is an angel. Literally. The girl and the angel develop a very intense romantic relation (by intense I don't mean sexual and stuff, just very very full of love, lol). There's a moment of the story where she kills him. In a cool-blooded and heartless way. But, there comes the problem: I want this act to be completely conscious and lucid. Even if her new powers have changed a bit her character into a slighty "anti-hero" mood, she still loves him, with all the might of her heart. But she kills him. No, he doesn't do anything wrong, not even something that she took as a wrong action, and killing him won't save the universe, not even a puppy. It won't benefit her in any realistic way, if we don't count the later self-control that the main character regains of her instincts, but she doesn't know this would happen. In fact, what I mean is that there's not a good reason, nor altruistic one, to do so. On top of that, in the future, he will come back to life, and not in the DBZ way where everybody does (I mean, that resurrecting won't be a crapfest of my book, it has a good explanation of it and could happen again to other people, but the odds are harder than the sea turning blood tomorrow). When he comes back, he will gain new powers (as he won't be an angel anymore, not completely), he will be driven by revenge and try to take on the girl from killing him, at first without letting her to know who is her new enemy, but later they discover it. Later they make up, but we can have a feel that their relation has come into a bit not too sane relation, lol. Nobody and I mean, NOBODY (except the guy after it happens) knows that somebody could come back from the dead and that he would do stronger. I mean that this wasn't some sort of cold-blooded-but-right-action to make him stronger, when she kills him, is to leave him dead and buried. So, why would she do it? This drives me nuts because I can't figure it out... How can I make her kill him, wanting to and not being insane or possessed, without him doing anything wrong, and without hopes to recover him (even if this happens later)? ARRGH. Dx

01-16-2011, 11:14 PM	#2
jbcohen Wizard Posts: 3,032 Karma: 11196738 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Where am I? Device: Kindle Paperwhite Signature edition and a Samsung S24 Ultra	My advice to writers has always been to read the masters of their genre. In your case Robert Jordan and Gregory R. R. Martin. Get yourself a copy of some of their works and read what they wrote and see how they develop plots and how they solve problems in their books.

01-18-2011, 03:27 AM	#3
Luke King Member Retired Posts: 173 Karma: 200000 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kindle 2	Maybe she knows (through her powers) that he's going to do something bad.

01-18-2011, 06:24 AM	#4
mr ploppy Feral Underclass Posts: 3,622 Karma: 26821535 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Yorkshire, tha noz Device: 2nd hand paperback	It was that time of the month... (ducks)

01-18-2011, 08:03 AM	#5
caleb72 Indie Advocate Posts: 2,863 Karma: 18794463 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: Kindle	Because with that much power it's easy to destroy. She could be watching what she is doing from a cool distance fascinated by what her actions are doing - lucid but also removed. Regards Caleb

01-18-2011, 08:19 AM	#6
mediax Readaholic Posts: 255 Karma: 1058454 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Swindon, UK Device: Sony PRS-T2 (previously 505 and 650)	Developing Caleb's idea a little, if she doesn't know the full extent of her powers maybe she's trying to find their limits (think children pushing boundaries, but with lethal weapons). If her powers only work when she "means it", but she doesn't think they extend as far as killing someone, then she could "really try" to kill him while not actually expecting to succeed. I'm not sure if this is anywhere near what you've got in mind. It would mean that the killing could be totally cold and lucid, but I'm not sure how you'd deal with the emotional after-effects of killing her love - unless you've already got some ideas about that.

01-18-2011, 11:19 AM	#7
bthrowsnaill Dreamer Posts: 112 Karma: 501282 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Philadelphia, PA Device: kindle	This killing seems like it could be the core plot (and thematic?) element of the story, so I'm not sure that you should be backing into it vs. figuring it out first and letting the rest of the story fall into place around it. That being said, if you want it to be a completely lucid act, then it would have to be love turned to hatred. Maybe he "cheats" on her emotionally, or she finds that he is emotionally involved with her sworn enemy?

01-18-2011, 11:36 AM	#8
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	Honestly, the whole super power, then killing him and then having him come back to exact revenge against the main character sounds like a bad idea. The story does not seem to have a central theme to pivot around, but instead is two books. Whatever leads her to realize that she must kill him should be the climax, and the act itself and the changes it makes in her should be the conclusion. If you want him to come back, leave that for the sequel.

01-18-2011, 11:39 AM	#9
DixieGal Hi There! Posts: 7,473 Karma: 2930523 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Ft Lauderdale Device: iPad	Oops, Bthrowsnail beat me to it.

01-18-2011, 12:15 PM	#10
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Mistaken identity - she thought he was someone/thing else. He ate all her chocolate Growing pains - (of the power).

01-18-2011, 03:30 PM	#11
James_Wilde Guru Posts: 802 Karma: 4727110 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Iriver Story	How about psychopathic overreaction to a triviality? This gives you a way for them to get back together later. If she's psychopathic she's likely to act unpredictably. And anyway, she's punished him for whatever it was he did so he's forgiven.

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01-18-2011, 05:26 PM	#12
WPotocki Connoisseur Posts: 89 Karma: 399622 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: NYC Device: none	I think bthrowsnaill hit it best. I don't think you're into your character enough. Motivations should always be an outgrowth of what your character is. It's up to your character to tell you - and for you to discover. When mine start speaking to me, I know their favorite color and it's not one I selected for them. What you have is the skeleton of a story - which is great. You need this boundary established, but it's in the writing, the colors and details will fill in. You have to trust that it will. You came up with this character and the story, didn't you? Your character will come up with why she does things and why she doesn't. You need to stop "thinking," and let her speak. You do this by writing the story and just letting it flow. I'm not saying that writers never need help - I would suppose that most of us do. I'm just saying that it's always best to let your characters speak. You created them so let them say what they have to say. Sit back and watch the action happen. A couple of days ago, I just started a new story with this one character. I thought I had her background mapped out, but no! She revealed a secret early on that I didn't know she had. I stopped writing thinking, "Does this really work within the confines of the story I constructed?" The answer was that of course it does. It only lets me know I'm doing the right thing in breathing life into her. I'd be very interested in what happens if you just trust the process and begin writing those scenes. Bet something comes up that surprises you. Good luck.