It's our Adoption Anniversary!

davidhburton · 06-10-2010, 11:23 AM

If you know anyone that's adopted, you might like my recent post. It's our adoption anniversary!

And if you are looking for a good children's book, I mention one in the post that's called "And Tango Makes Three" which was a huge help for our kids. The book has been banned a few times, so I think it's important to support it.

Post is at my site: http://davidhburton.com

Cheers!
David

kindlekitten · 06-10-2010, 12:33 PM

Congrats!

davidhburton · 06-10-2010, 12:50 PM

Thanks!! It's been an amazing journey!!

poohbear_nc · 06-10-2010, 12:51 PM

Congrats too! To help with their college fund, I just bought your book - it looks like a great read!

davidhburton · 06-10-2010, 12:56 PM

Oh, that was really nice! Thank you! I hope you like it!

What was shown to me throughout all of this is how resilient children are, and how much can change when they're given love, empathy, consistency, etc. The changes were not only emotional, but even physical. They blossomed once they came to live with us. It's truly amazing. Those boys make me very proud every single day.

I would highly recommend "And Tango Makes Three" for anyone that knows, or has, small children. Wonderful, wonderful book!

nohmi2 · 06-10-2010, 07:20 PM

Happy, happy anniversary.

davidhburton · 06-10-2010, 07:21 PM

Thanks!! We'll make the most of it!!

ficbot · 06-10-2010, 08:49 PM

David, I was in tears for most of your story. My sister and her partner adopted an older child through foster care and it is one of the bravest things anyone I know had done. They have had some problems---the child is right now at a summer camp for at-risk kids and will likely need therapy for awhile---but considering that when they got her, she had been so abused and neglected that she was ten years old and had never been to school, couldn't read, and was surprised to discover that she was to sleep in her own bed without, shall we, say, company---they have done absolute wonders with her. And I have a student right now in foster care. It just breaks my heart. I think I am too much of a softie to do what my sister did because it would devastate me to bond with a child and then maybe have to send them back to parents who I know would not be equipped for them, or to situations which are not optimal or which are ruled by bureaucratic issues and not the child's best interests.

I am rooting so hard for my sister's child to come out okay after everything she's been through. I really, really want the happy ending for that poor kid, and I know that being adopted rather than staying in foster care is the only chance a lot of these kids have. I give you and your partner a ton of credit and it's always nice to hear about a happy ending!

happy_terd · 06-11-2010, 01:16 AM

Congratulations and God bless.

davidhburton · 06-11-2010, 06:29 AM

ficbot, that's wonderful to hear! Your niece will come out wonderfully, but it will take love, patience, and a lot of support. I'm so happy to hear when others adopt older children. Often they're forgotten and languish in the system or are sent to group homes until the cycle repeats itself. Older children need all the same things that younger ones do, and the same as all of us: love, happiness, security, etc. You just made my day with that story! Thank you!!

ficbot · 06-11-2010, 07:28 AM

Hi David, thanks for replying. My sister and her partner have had their share of struggles, some of it due to their own lack of parenting experience, I think. But whatever happens, they gave her a much better shot than she would have had otherwise. It is shocking, what some people do to innocent kids. I think the hope we are clinging to is they don't think there are any organic issues like fetal alcohol or anything, so if they can work out the mental blocks in therapy, she'll have a chance at a normal adult life. What is ironic is, when she got adopted they withdrew a lot of the services she was eligible for as a foster child---but then she disclosed abuse to a therapist and was able to re-qualify for most of the services as a 'victim of crime' under a special fund set up for those. So there is a lot of red tape and bureaucracy. And they have unfortunately faced some discrimination (my sister is trangendered and they are living as a same sex couple) so they have had trouble getting help at times.

Sweetpea · 06-11-2010, 07:58 AM

It sounds you all got the jackpot. Both your boys and you parents. I had tears in my eyes when I reached the end, about the formalisation of the union (because, that's what it is, actually, a union of two families).

I wish you all a very happy anniversary!

06-10-2010, 11:23 AM	#1
davidhburton Addict Posts: 211 Karma: 100001 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Toronto Device: none	It's our Adoption Anniversary! If you know anyone that's adopted, you might like my recent post. It's our adoption anniversary! And if you are looking for a good children's book, I mention one in the post that's called "And Tango Makes Three" which was a huge help for our kids. The book has been banned a few times, so I think it's important to support it. Post is at my site: http://davidhburton.com Cheers! David

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06-10-2010, 12:33 PM	#2
kindlekitten Professional Adventuress Posts: 13,368 Karma: 50260224 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: The Olympic Peninsula on the OTHER Washington! (the big green clean one on the west coast!) Device: Kindle, the original! Times Two! and gifting an International Kindle	Congrats!

06-10-2010, 12:50 PM	#3
davidhburton Addict Posts: 211 Karma: 100001 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Toronto Device: none	Thanks!! It's been an amazing journey!!

06-10-2010, 12:51 PM	#4
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 62,822 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Congrats too! To help with their college fund, I just bought your book - it looks like a great read!

06-10-2010, 12:56 PM	#5
davidhburton Addict Posts: 211 Karma: 100001 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Toronto Device: none	Oh, that was really nice! Thank you! I hope you like it! What was shown to me throughout all of this is how resilient children are, and how much can change when they're given love, empathy, consistency, etc. The changes were not only emotional, but even physical. They blossomed once they came to live with us. It's truly amazing. Those boys make me very proud every single day. I would highly recommend "And Tango Makes Three" for anyone that knows, or has, small children. Wonderful, wonderful book!

06-10-2010, 07:20 PM	#6
nohmi2 Pensively observing. Posts: 1,758 Karma: 12675456 Join Date: Jun 2008 Device: Varied.	Happy, happy anniversary.

06-10-2010, 07:21 PM	#7
davidhburton Addict Posts: 211 Karma: 100001 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Toronto Device: none	Thanks!! We'll make the most of it!!

06-10-2010, 08:49 PM	#8
ficbot Wizard Posts: 2,409 Karma: 4132096 Join Date: Sep 2008 Device: Kindle Paperwhite/iOS Kindle App	David, I was in tears for most of your story. My sister and her partner adopted an older child through foster care and it is one of the bravest things anyone I know had done. They have had some problems---the child is right now at a summer camp for at-risk kids and will likely need therapy for awhile---but considering that when they got her, she had been so abused and neglected that she was ten years old and had never been to school, couldn't read, and was surprised to discover that she was to sleep in her own bed without, shall we, say, company---they have done absolute wonders with her. And I have a student right now in foster care. It just breaks my heart. I think I am too much of a softie to do what my sister did because it would devastate me to bond with a child and then maybe have to send them back to parents who I know would not be equipped for them, or to situations which are not optimal or which are ruled by bureaucratic issues and not the child's best interests. I am rooting so hard for my sister's child to come out okay after everything she's been through. I really, really want the happy ending for that poor kid, and I know that being adopted rather than staying in foster care is the only chance a lot of these kids have. I give you and your partner a ton of credit and it's always nice to hear about a happy ending!

06-11-2010, 01:16 AM	#9
happy_terd Banned Posts: 13,045 Karma: 10105011 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Finally made it to Walmart. Device: PRS 420	Congratulations and God bless.

06-11-2010, 06:29 AM	#10
davidhburton Addict Posts: 211 Karma: 100001 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Toronto Device: none	ficbot, that's wonderful to hear! Your niece will come out wonderfully, but it will take love, patience, and a lot of support. I'm so happy to hear when others adopt older children. Often they're forgotten and languish in the system or are sent to group homes until the cycle repeats itself. Older children need all the same things that younger ones do, and the same as all of us: love, happiness, security, etc. You just made my day with that story! Thank you!!

06-11-2010, 07:28 AM	#11
ficbot Wizard Posts: 2,409 Karma: 4132096 Join Date: Sep 2008 Device: Kindle Paperwhite/iOS Kindle App	Hi David, thanks for replying. My sister and her partner have had their share of struggles, some of it due to their own lack of parenting experience, I think. But whatever happens, they gave her a much better shot than she would have had otherwise. It is shocking, what some people do to innocent kids. I think the hope we are clinging to is they don't think there are any organic issues like fetal alcohol or anything, so if they can work out the mental blocks in therapy, she'll have a chance at a normal adult life. What is ironic is, when she got adopted they withdrew a lot of the services she was eligible for as a foster child---but then she disclosed abuse to a therapist and was able to re-qualify for most of the services as a 'victim of crime' under a special fund set up for those. So there is a lot of red tape and bureaucracy. And they have unfortunately faced some discrimination (my sister is trangendered and they are living as a same sex couple) so they have had trouble getting help at times.

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06-11-2010, 07:58 AM	#12
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	It sounds you all got the jackpot. Both your boys and you parents. I had tears in my eyes when I reached the end, about the formalisation of the union (because, that's what it is, actually, a union of two families). I wish you all a very happy anniversary!