Silliness The Pshrynk and Ralph Comedy Hour

Greg Anos · 04-12-2010, 08:52 PM

THE PSHRYNK AND RALPH COMEDY HOUR.

(cut to bridge of a submarine. Dr Montesmag is wearing a captain's uniform.)
Dr. Montesmag: "Umm....dive the boat."
Sailor at helm: "But Captain."
Dr. Montesmag: Ahhh...who's the captain here?"
Sailor at helm: "You are, sir!"
Dr.Montesmag: "Errr...then dive the boat."
Sailor at helm: " (Shrugs) Yes, sir. Open all vents."
(sudden feel of an elevator falling, followed by a huge bang and other noises.)
Dr.Montesmag: "Ahh.. why did we stop?"
Sailor at helm: "We're still in our parking place, sir...."

(hard cut to VR in front of a mike.)
VR: "Welcome to The Pshrynk and Ralph Comedy Hour. Guaranteed to lower the taste of any thread it touches. Today's show was pre-recorded so that Bubba and Red could go fishing."

"Today's sponsor are Pearl Beer, the brew that made the Texas Hill Country cry 1100 springs. Great White North Road Construction, ruining summers since 1912. And Trans Texas Airways, where the big hand is on 12, the little hand is on 3, and all the knuckles are white from the ride..."

(Hard cut to Kenny C. on Pshrynks couch.)
Kenny C.: "I tell you, it's horrible out there, the the violence, the casualties, the horror. Please doctor, help me! I can't take any more!"
Pshrynk: "Ok! Ok! Just relax. Where have you been? Beruit, Iraq, Afghanistan?"
Kenny C.: "None of those kiddie camps. I just came back from posting on the Global Warming thread."

(Cut to GeoffC in the German WWII helmet, peering from behind a fern). "Very EEnteresting. But I still say Stalingrad was tougher."

(Hard cut to VR at the announcer mike) VR: "And the latest score is - Cops 7, Robbers 3."

(Just the opening bars... Coming soon, Hugo and Lefty discussing matter of great import...)

montsnmags · 04-13-2010, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

THE PSHRYNK AND RALPH COMEDY HOUR.

(cut to bridge of a submarine. Dr Montesmag is wearing a captain's uniform.)
Dr. Montesmag: "Umm....dive the boat."
Sailor at helm: "But Captain."
Dr. Montesmag: Ahhh...who's the captain here?"
Sailor at helm: "You are, sir!"
Dr.Montesmag: "Errr...then dive the boat."
Sailor at helm: " (Shrugs) Yes, sir. Open all vents."
(sudden feel of an elevator falling, followed by a huge bang and other noises.)
Dr.Montesmag: "Ahh.. why did we stop?"
Sailor at helm: "We're still in our parking place, sir...."
...

That so-called "Doctor"...a moron at the wheel of life. STEADY AS HE BLOWS!

Cheers,
Marc (no relation)

dreams · 04-13-2010, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

(Cut to GeoffC in the German WWII helmet, peering from behind a fern). "Very EEnteresting.

I didn't think anyone but me remembered that guy!

GraceKrispy · 04-13-2010, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreams

I didn't think anyone but me remembered that guy!

Whereʻs the blondie whoʻs giggling like a crazy maniac because sheʻs a ditz who canʻt get her lines down??

dreams · 04-13-2010, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceKrispy

Whereʻs the blondie whoʻs giggling like a crazy maniac because sheʻs a ditz who canʻt get her lines down??

NOW, I understand why everyone cracked up when someone called me "Goldie".

"Say Goodnight, Gracie Dick."

Donnageddon · 04-13-2010, 02:30 AM

We interrupt this program for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour (already in progress)

Tom Smothers: Mother always like you best!

Dick Smothers: What makes you say that?

Tom: 'cuz pshrynk told me!

Dick: i know what you mean. Now for a poignant comment on the war in Vietna...

<dead air>

Announcer: This program has been cancelled by Dick Nixon.

Goldie Hawn: Sock it to me!

Man falling off tricycle : Would you like a tastenof my walnutto?

Announcer: the ficlked finger of fate takes us back to pshrynk and Ralph in beautiful downtown Burbank...

Greg Anos · 04-13-2010, 10:09 AM

(Pshrynk and Ralph enter from behind the curtain, wearing tuxes.)
Pshrynk: "It lookes like we're going to have a great show tonight."
Ralph: "Every show with John Wayne is a good show."
Pshrynk: "We aren't having John Wayne here."
Ralph: "What, he stiffed us again?"
Pshrynk: "He's dead!"
Ralph: "Like I said. He stiffed us again. I guess we'll just have to settle for Bad Good Deb."
Pshrynk: "She couldn't make it either."
Ralph: "Is she dead, too?"
Pshrynk: "No, she's not dead! She's busy doing a Ginsu Knife ad."
Ralph: "What, the Samarai Waitress role didn't come through?"
Pshrynk: "Not yet. With that in mind, let watch the show..."

(Cut to a dog hiking a leg at a fire hydrant. The hydrant barks and runs off.)

(Cut back to Pshrynk and Ralph. A harried-looking man in a suit walks up.)
Harried man: "I'm from the MR censors. You've got to clean this show up or I'll have to shut it down."
Pshrynk : "But this is the internet, there are no censors"
Ralph: "Besides, our jokes aren't that dirty."
Harried man: "Who cares about your jokes. Look at the floor. Look at those curtains. And Pshrynk's couch ought to be burned!"
Pshrynk "We'll do something about it before the show's over."
Harried man: "You'd better." (Walks off)

Ralph: "Boy, was he cranky! What'll we do now?"
Pshrynk : "Do what most adults do then they're overwhelmed. Let's go to Adrian's bar."
Ralph : "Great idea!"

(Pshrynk and Ralph goes through closed door to a bar with music playing from a jukebox and people drinking and dancing.)

Zelda Pinwheel: "Did you hear the one about the dying man who was given a Zany Carter just before he died?"
Sparrow: "No. What happened?"
Zelda: "They had to give him last rites in 26 different centuries and 3 different universes."

Tompe: "What would you get if you crossed the MPAA and the RIAA with a chicken?"
ShortandCuddlyAm: "I don't, what would you get?"
Tompe: "A chicken that cuts it's own throat."

Ralph: "Adrian, why do you serve Zany carters over the bar but keep the Pearl in a safe?"
Adrian: "Have you tried Pearl?"

Tompe: "What if you crossed that ACTA with the SPCA?"
Patricia: "What?"
Tompe: "A law that's too secret to adopt."

Pshrynk: "Feel better, Ralph?"
Ralph: "Yes, but the door disappeared!"
Pshrynk: "Not a problem, Just chug your Zany Carter and you'll be somewhere else."
Ralph: "Will it put us back in the show."
Pshrynk: "Only if our luck run out."

(Hard cut to VR at the mike) VR: "The Slime Mold Defense League has announced it's third annual Red burning fund raiser next Friday. Red is not expected to attend, but the spokesman in charge noted that they would a have a spit over an open fire reserved for him, just in case the Guest of Honor did show up."

(Cut to GeoffC in the German Helmet) Very EEnteresting, but more Chocolate!

(Cut to Dr. Montesmag, back on the submarine bridge)
Dr.Montesmag: "Ahh...Dive, dive."
Sailor at helm: "Aye, aye, sir."
(Both the sailor and Dr.Montesmag suddenly show up in Adrian's Bar.)
Dr.Montesmag: Err...What are we doing...here?"
Sailor: "You said 'dive' ..."

columbus · 04-13-2010, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreams

I didn't think anyone but me remembered that guy!

And don't forget the little old man on the child's trike

("Do you want to make an old man happy?"

)

GeoffC · 04-13-2010, 10:36 AM

ahem .... !!

Greg Anos · 04-13-2010, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

ahem .... !!

I hope you're not offended by the role....I'll send more chocolate!

GeoffC · 04-13-2010, 10:41 AM

Of Course Not ......

Steven Lyle Jordan · 04-13-2010, 11:11 AM

And that's the truthththththththth!

Steven Lyle Jordan · 04-13-2010, 11:27 AM

(Cut to: Joke wall, Dick standing before it. Door opens to reveal Goldie.)

Goldie: "Hey, Dick! If you... if I... ah... Ha ha ha ha! If..."

Dick: "Take your time, you'll get it."

Another door opens to reveal Dr. Montsmags: "Come... on! I may be... late for happy... hour!"

Another door opens to reveal William Shatner: "Was that... KeiferSutherland?"

Another door opens to reveal Keifer Sutherland: "No, it... was William Shatner."

William Shatner: "Then he's the... greatest actor that....... everbreathed!"

Dick: "Are we done? Goldie, did you have something to ask me?"

Goldie: "About what?"

(Howls from multiple doors)

Goldie: "Oh, oh, yeah! Um... if I told you you had a sweet bippy, would I hold it against... you... um...?"

Dick (throwing up his hands in surrender) "Well, anything's possible!"

Dr. Montsnmags: "I missed... happy hour... for that?"

columbus · 04-14-2010, 09:12 AM

Seems a lot of us here are older than we look (or pretend to be) being able to remember so much from "Laugh in"!!! or do you all live in down town Burbank??

Which one's you Pshrynk ?

ShortNCuddlyAm · 04-14-2010, 09:28 AM

loving it so far!

[QUOTE=Ralph Sir Edward;869551Zelda Pinwheel: "Did you hear the one about the dying man who was given a Zany Carter just before he died?"
Sparrow: "No. What happened?"
Zelda: "They had to give him last rites in 26 different centuries and 3 different universes."
[/QUOTE]

This one just got me odd looks from the giggling

04-12-2010, 08:52 PM	#1
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,520 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	The Pshrynk and Ralph Comedy Hour THE PSHRYNK AND RALPH COMEDY HOUR. (cut to bridge of a submarine. Dr Montesmag is wearing a captain's uniform.) Dr. Montesmag: "Umm....dive the boat." Sailor at helm: "But Captain." Dr. Montesmag: Ahhh...who's the captain here?" Sailor at helm: "You are, sir!" Dr.Montesmag: "Errr...then dive the boat." Sailor at helm: " (Shrugs) Yes, sir. Open all vents." (sudden feel of an elevator falling, followed by a huge bang and other noises.) Dr.Montesmag: "Ahh.. why did we stop?" Sailor at helm: "We're still in our parking place, sir...." (hard cut to VR in front of a mike.) VR: "Welcome to The Pshrynk and Ralph Comedy Hour. Guaranteed to lower the taste of any thread it touches. Today's show was pre-recorded so that Bubba and Red could go fishing." "Today's sponsor are Pearl Beer, the brew that made the Texas Hill Country cry 1100 springs. Great White North Road Construction, ruining summers since 1912. And Trans Texas Airways, where the big hand is on 12, the little hand is on 3, and all the knuckles are white from the ride..." (Hard cut to Kenny C. on Pshrynks couch.) Kenny C.: "I tell you, it's horrible out there, the the violence, the casualties, the horror. Please doctor, help me! I can't take any more!" Pshrynk: "Ok! Ok! Just relax. Where have you been? Beruit, Iraq, Afghanistan?" Kenny C.: "None of those kiddie camps. I just came back from posting on the Global Warming thread." (Cut to GeoffC in the German WWII helmet, peering from behind a fern). "Very EEnteresting. But I still say Stalingrad was tougher." (Hard cut to VR at the announcer mike) VR: "And the latest score is - Cops 7, Robbers 3." (Just the opening bars... Coming soon, Hugo and Lefty discussing matter of great import...)

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04-13-2010, 02:30 AM	#6
Donnageddon Now you lishen here... Posts: 2,494 Karma: 479498 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Seattle-ish Device: Sony PRS-650. Kobo Touch, Kindle Fire	We interrupt this program for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour (already in progress) Tom Smothers: Mother always like you best! Dick Smothers: What makes you say that? Tom: 'cuz pshrynk told me! Dick: i know what you mean. Now for a poignant comment on the war in Vietna... <dead air> Announcer: This program has been cancelled by Dick Nixon. Goldie Hawn: Sock it to me! Man falling off tricycle : Would you like a tastenof my walnutto? Announcer: the ficlked finger of fate takes us back to pshrynk and Ralph in beautiful downtown Burbank...

04-13-2010, 10:09 AM	#7
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,520 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	(Pshrynk and Ralph enter from behind the curtain, wearing tuxes.) Pshrynk: "It lookes like we're going to have a great show tonight." Ralph: "Every show with John Wayne is a good show." Pshrynk: "We aren't having John Wayne here." Ralph: "What, he stiffed us again?" Pshrynk: "He's dead!" Ralph: "Like I said. He stiffed us again. I guess we'll just have to settle for Bad Good Deb." Pshrynk: "She couldn't make it either." Ralph: "Is she dead, too?" Pshrynk: "No, she's not dead! She's busy doing a Ginsu Knife ad." Ralph: "What, the Samarai Waitress role didn't come through?" Pshrynk: "Not yet. With that in mind, let watch the show..." (Cut to a dog hiking a leg at a fire hydrant. The hydrant barks and runs off.) (Cut back to Pshrynk and Ralph. A harried-looking man in a suit walks up.) Harried man: "I'm from the MR censors. You've got to clean this show up or I'll have to shut it down." Pshrynk : "But this is the internet, there are no censors" Ralph: "Besides, our jokes aren't that dirty." Harried man: "Who cares about your jokes. Look at the floor. Look at those curtains. And Pshrynk's couch ought to be burned!" Pshrynk "We'll do something about it before the show's over." Harried man: "You'd better." (Walks off) Ralph: "Boy, was he cranky! What'll we do now?" Pshrynk : "Do what most adults do then they're overwhelmed. Let's go to Adrian's bar." Ralph : "Great idea!" (Pshrynk and Ralph goes through closed door to a bar with music playing from a jukebox and people drinking and dancing.) Zelda Pinwheel: "Did you hear the one about the dying man who was given a Zany Carter just before he died?" Sparrow: "No. What happened?" Zelda: "They had to give him last rites in 26 different centuries and 3 different universes." Tompe: "What would you get if you crossed the MPAA and the RIAA with a chicken?" ShortandCuddlyAm: "I don't, what would you get?" Tompe: "A chicken that cuts it's own throat." Ralph: "Adrian, why do you serve Zany carters over the bar but keep the Pearl in a safe?" Adrian: "Have you tried Pearl?" Tompe: "What if you crossed that ACTA with the SPCA?" Patricia: "What?" Tompe: "A law that's too secret to adopt." Pshrynk: "Feel better, Ralph?" Ralph: "Yes, but the door disappeared!" Pshrynk: "Not a problem, Just chug your Zany Carter and you'll be somewhere else." Ralph: "Will it put us back in the show." Pshrynk: "Only if our luck run out." (Hard cut to VR at the mike) VR: "The Slime Mold Defense League has announced it's third annual Red burning fund raiser next Friday. Red is not expected to attend, but the spokesman in charge noted that they would a have a spit over an open fire reserved for him, just in case the Guest of Honor did show up." (Cut to GeoffC in the German Helmet) Very EEnteresting, but more Chocolate! (Cut to Dr. Montesmag, back on the submarine bridge) Dr.Montesmag: "Ahh...Dive, dive." Sailor at helm: "Aye, aye, sir." (Both the sailor and Dr.Montesmag suddenly show up in Adrian's Bar.) Dr.Montesmag: Err...What are we doing...here?" Sailor: "You said 'dive' ..."

04-13-2010, 10:36 AM	#9
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	ahem .... !!

04-13-2010, 10:41 AM	#11
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Of Course Not ......

04-13-2010, 11:11 AM	#12
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	And that's the truthththththththth!

04-13-2010, 11:27 AM	#13
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	(Cut to: Joke wall, Dick standing before it. Door opens to reveal Goldie.) Goldie: "Hey, Dick! If you... if I... ah... Ha ha ha ha! If..." Dick: "Take your time, you'll get it." Another door opens to reveal Dr. Montsmags: "Come... on! I may be... late for happy... hour!" Another door opens to reveal William Shatner: "Was that... KeiferSutherland?" Another door opens to reveal Keifer Sutherland: "No, it... was William Shatner." William Shatner: "Then he's the... greatest actor that....... everbreathed!" Dick: "Are we done? Goldie, did you have something to ask me?" Goldie: "About what?" (Howls from multiple doors) Goldie: "Oh, oh, yeah! Um... if I told you you had a sweet bippy, would I hold it against... you... um...?" Dick (throwing up his hands in surrender) "Well, anything's possible!" Dr. Montsnmags: "I missed... happy hour... for that?"

04-14-2010, 09:12 AM	#14
columbus Wizard Posts: 999 Karma: 5487540 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: In my own imagination. Device: Sony Prs 650, 505	Seems a lot of us here are older than we look (or pretend to be) being able to remember so much from "Laugh in"!!! or do you all live in down town Burbank?? Which one's you Pshrynk ?

04-14-2010, 09:28 AM	#15
ShortNCuddlyAm WWHALD Posts: 7,879 Karma: 337114 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mitcham, Surrey, UK Device: iPad. Selling my silver 505 here	loving it so far! [QUOTE=Ralph Sir Edward;869551Zelda Pinwheel: "Did you hear the one about the dying man who was given a Zany Carter just before he died?" Sparrow: "No. What happened?" Zelda: "They had to give him last rites in 26 different centuries and 3 different universes." [/QUOTE] This one just got me odd looks from the giggling

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