Silliness FLS

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 08:54 AM

Lieutenant Biggles sat behind his desk and sipped his espresso. Damn! That's good! Glad we went over to Marc's and pinched his working model, leaving our busted one behind.

He reviewed the day's roster with apprehension. there was a New Guy coming in. Biggles would, of course, always refer to him as New Guy. Early stage Alzheimer's was a bitch. He pressed the button on his desk, ringing his orderly.

"You There! Bring me the roster on New Guy, would you?"

The orderly shuffled in, lowering his head to get through the door. "It's Alf, if you wouldn't mind. Here's the folder."

"Thanks, er, You There!"

Biggles perused the file, at one point getting out a magnifying glass to really peruse the crap out of it. He took notes. And then made other notes to remember where he'd taken the notes. Then jotted a quick note to remind himself that taking notes did not work unless he actually used ink in his pen.

"So, this guy thinks he's Royalty, does he?" Biggles adjusted the cheap tin crown on his head and tried to remember why he was here. "We'll just see about that. No room for Royalty in Her majesty's Flying LLama Squadron!"

montsnmags · 08-20-2008, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Lieutenant Biggles sat behind his desk and sipped his espresso. [I]Damn! That's good! Glad we went over to Marc's and pinched his working model, leaving our busted one behind.

You dirty, stinkin', thievin, mongrel, son of a spud-brained, qtipped, fuzz-headed, cud-spittin', jumper-wearin' dam(n)!!! I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you. I'll tear your skin off for a fedora and use your legs to prop up the drying rack I'm going to make from your ribcage, to dry out your intestines and use them as chord for a necklace to hang your shrivelled bollocks from, you stinking, grass-eating, ruminating, cursed camelid.

Oh, that espresso machine better be back soon, you unscrupulous ungulating mountain-climbing slow-cooked roast, or I'm going to go all Incan sacrifice on your scrawny vegan neck, llama-boy.

I'll count to 1.

1.

Cheers,
Double-decaf, with a twist

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 10:00 AM

Well. That was refreshing.

zelda_pinwheel · 08-20-2008, 10:12 AM

don't mess with teh gibbon (and don't steal his espresso machine, if you value a healthy, longish, sane, pain-free existence).

biggles, i'm counting on your to get that new recruit into flying order by tomorrow. we don't want any nasty incidents during the free-style pyrotechnic stunt-flying celebratory demonstration, now do we ?

RWood · 08-20-2008, 10:24 AM

The paws that refresh?

Taylor514ce · 08-20-2008, 10:32 AM

I chew a handful of chocolate-covered espresso beans, washed down with a hot cup of Earl Gray, every morning. Then, I go post on www.tor.com.

I've always wanted to be a llama pilot, ever since my great uncle Albecore came back from the War on the States, which is why he was overseas at the time cousin Yoshi was born. We had such great times on the emu farm, Yoshi and I, during that blissful "summer of discovery". We'd pretend the emus were llamas... in fact, emus emulate llamas, if you squint.

So here I am, standing at quivering attention, reporting for duty.

zelda_pinwheel · 08-20-2008, 10:48 AM

spoken like a true llama pilot. The Ministry is proud of you, honorable Taylor. just keep squinting quixotically.

Taylor514ce · 08-20-2008, 10:51 AM

lemma: emus emulate llamas

That's the start of my dissertation. It's all I've got. Flounce, Flounce, and Away!

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 11:04 AM

Biggles, sensing the presence of an invisible, angry gibbon, dismissed the feeling as merely a side effect of the Aricept and Cialis cocktail his phsycian (Doctor Guy) had him on.

"You There! Send in the new recruit!"

"It's Alf. And here they are."

"They?" Biggles desperately tried to lever his eyes down to the desktop to check and see if he had inadvertently skipped over a second file. Again. Never mind, soldier on, as they say in Her Majesty's Flying Llama Squadron.

"So, New Guy and, er Robot Looking Chap! Welcome to HMFLS! Do we have an assignment for you!"

Taylor514ce · 08-20-2008, 11:15 AM

"So, New Guy and, er Robot Looking Chap! Welcome to HMFLS! Do we have an assignment for you!"

Robot Looking Chap, sensing an opportunity, chooses to interpret the declamation as a question.

"Yes sir, you certainly do have an assignment for me. Us. I, err, we, have been fully briefed, as you'll note in your notes. There, in the margin. We accept this mission, glowing with your confidence in us. Now sir, if you'll simply sign this requisition for a pair of llamas, we'll go get fitted for our fedoras."

"Mission? Mission? Oh... err, of course. So, when will you be departing?"

"As soon as I, umm, we, finish packing the queen's luggage. We'll send you dispatches from Barbados. DISMISSED!"

Lt. Biggles, startled, stands at attention, salutes, and promptly defenestrates himself.

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 11:31 AM

"Well. That went better than anticipated. Fancy a pint at the Officers' Club?"

zelda_pinwheel · 08-20-2008, 11:36 AM

always ! it's your round by the way.

pshrynk · 08-20-2008, 11:39 AM

Biggles, lying on the ground beneath his window looked up and said, "Oh, not again!"

desertgrandma · 08-20-2008, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

[i]You dirty, stinkin', thievin, mongrel, son of a spud-brained, qtipped, fuzz-headed, cud-spittin', jumper-wearin' dam(n)!!! I'll kill you. I'll kill all of you. I'll tear your skin off for a fedora and use your legs to prop up the drying rack I'm going to make from your ribcage, to dry out your intestines and use them as chord for a necklace to hang your shrivelled bollocks from, you stinking, grass-eating, ruminating, cursed camelid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by montsnmags

Well. I am memorizing this little diatribe for future reference. Never know when this will come in handy. Maybe for the next time some empty headed bubble brained teen is texting on her phone and crosses the double line coming towards me...........

nekokami · 08-20-2008, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taylor514ce

I've always wanted to be a llama pilot

Of a Sopwith Llama?

Maneki Neko can bless the weather for you, if you like.

08-20-2008, 08:54 AM	#1
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	FLS Lieutenant Biggles sat behind his desk and sipped his espresso. Damn! That's good! Glad we went over to Marc's and pinched his working model, leaving our busted one behind. He reviewed the day's roster with apprehension. there was a New Guy coming in. Biggles would, of course, always refer to him as New Guy. Early stage Alzheimer's was a bitch. He pressed the button on his desk, ringing his orderly. "You There! Bring me the roster on New Guy, would you?" The orderly shuffled in, lowering his head to get through the door. "It's Alf, if you wouldn't mind. Here's the folder." "Thanks, er, You There!" Biggles perused the file, at one point getting out a magnifying glass to really peruse the crap out of it. He took notes. And then made other notes to remember where he'd taken the notes. Then jotted a quick note to remind himself that taking notes did not work unless he actually used ink in his pen. "So, this guy thinks he's Royalty, does he?" Biggles adjusted the cheap tin crown on his head and tried to remember why he was here. "We'll just see about that. No room for Royalty in Her majesty's Flying LLama Squadron!"

08-20-2008, 10:32 AM	#6
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	I chew a handful of chocolate-covered espresso beans, washed down with a hot cup of Earl Gray, every morning. Then, I go post on www.tor.com. I've always wanted to be a llama pilot, ever since my great uncle Albecore came back from the War on the States, which is why he was overseas at the time cousin Yoshi was born. We had such great times on the emu farm, Yoshi and I, during that blissful "summer of discovery". We'd pretend the emus were llamas... in fact, emus emulate llamas, if you squint. So here I am, standing at quivering attention, reporting for duty. Last edited by Taylor514ce; 08-20-2008 at 10:50 AM.

08-20-2008, 10:00 AM	#3
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Well. That was refreshing.

08-20-2008, 10:12 AM	#4
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	don't mess with teh gibbon (and don't steal his espresso machine, if you value a healthy, longish, sane, pain-free existence). biggles, i'm counting on your to get that new recruit into flying order by tomorrow. we don't want any nasty incidents during the free-style pyrotechnic stunt-flying celebratory demonstration, now do we ?

08-20-2008, 10:24 AM	#5
RWood Technogeezer Posts: 7,233 Karma: 1601464 Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Virginia, USA Device: Sony PRS-500	The paws that refresh?

08-20-2008, 10:48 AM	#7
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	spoken like a true llama pilot. The Ministry is proud of you, honorable Taylor. just keep squinting quixotically.

08-20-2008, 10:51 AM	#8
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	lemma: emus emulate llamas That's the start of my dissertation. It's all I've got. Flounce, Flounce, and Away!

08-20-2008, 11:04 AM	#9
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Biggles, sensing the presence of an invisible, angry gibbon, dismissed the feeling as merely a side effect of the Aricept and Cialis cocktail his phsycian (Doctor Guy) had him on. "You There! Send in the new recruit!" "It's Alf. And here they are." "They?" Biggles desperately tried to lever his eyes down to the desktop to check and see if he had inadvertently skipped over a second file. Again. Never mind, soldier on, as they say in Her Majesty's Flying Llama Squadron. "So, New Guy and, er Robot Looking Chap! Welcome to HMFLS! Do we have an assignment for you!"

08-20-2008, 11:15 AM	#10
Taylor514ce Actively passive. Posts: 2,042 Karma: 478376 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: US Device: Sony PRS-505/LC	"So, New Guy and, er Robot Looking Chap! Welcome to HMFLS! Do we have an assignment for you!" Robot Looking Chap, sensing an opportunity, chooses to interpret the declamation as a question. "Yes sir, you certainly do have an assignment for me. Us. I, err, we, have been fully briefed, as you'll note in your notes. There, in the margin. We accept this mission, glowing with your confidence in us. Now sir, if you'll simply sign this requisition for a pair of llamas, we'll go get fitted for our fedoras." "Mission? Mission? Oh... err, of course. So, when will you be departing?" "As soon as I, umm, we, finish packing the queen's luggage. We'll send you dispatches from Barbados. DISMISSED!" Lt. Biggles, startled, stands at attention, salutes, and promptly defenestrates himself.

08-20-2008, 11:31 AM	#11
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	"Well. That went better than anticipated. Fancy a pint at the Officers' Club?"

08-20-2008, 11:36 AM	#12
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	always ! it's your round by the way.

08-20-2008, 11:39 AM	#13
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Biggles, lying on the ground beneath his window looked up and said, "Oh, not again!"

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