Best way to interest early readers (or, more likely, their parents)?

Nancy Fulda · 10-07-2015, 07:21 PM

So... itty bitty chapter book for children aged 5-10. (It's my kids' fault I wrote it. Sigh. Don't ask.) Which product description sounds the most appealing?

Option 1:

Quote:

Meet Arthur: He's smart, shy, determined and... oh yes... he's an owl.

Arthur wants to go trick-or-treating more than anything, but can he make his dream a reality when humans don't even notice him?

Told in an accessible, easy-to-read style, Arthur's adventures will captivate audiences of all ages.

Option 2:

Quote:

This chapter book for early readers follows the adventures of Arthur, a small spotted owl, as he struggles to understand the human tradition of Trick-or-Treating. Told in an accessible, easy-to-read style, Arthur's adventures lead him into the depths of a candy bowl, along a hallway filled with jack-o-lanterns, and into the wilds of a suburban neighborhood.

Cinisajoy · 10-07-2015, 07:43 PM

The first one.

gmw · 10-07-2015, 09:04 PM

The first one. Although I do like this part of the second: "Arthur's adventures lead him into the depths of a candy bowl, along a hallway filled with jack-o-lanterns" - that sounds fun.

Dr. Drib · 10-08-2015, 06:09 AM

The FIRST one, because there is a child in all of us, and the adults - the one's who have the money - want to be reminded of that child and to see in THEIR children the child they used to be.

That FIRST is written with love and feeling. (Add to this the complete part about Arthur's candy-bowl.)

The first part of the SECOND one sounds like a prescription for herpes.

theducks · 10-08-2015, 11:38 AM

Who are you kidding: #1 wins

#2, definitely reads like a prescription

cromag · 10-08-2015, 07:39 PM

If they're 5 to 10 years old they're probably not the ones doing the buying, so I'd pitch to Mom and Dad, and option 1 works for that (IMHO). Especially if there's a way to see a sample, in case Mom and Dad want to check with the kid.

Option 2 reads like it's targeted to librarians, teachers, or other professionals, and could be used in an extended description.

Nancy Fulda · 10-09-2015, 10:58 PM

Lol! Ok, you've all convinced me. Here's the final version.

Quote:

Meet Arthur: He's smart, shy, determined and... oh yes... he's an owl.

Arthur wants to go trick-or-treating more than anything, but can he make his dream a reality when humans don't even notice him?

Told in an accessible, easy-to-read style, Arthur's adventures lead him into the depths of a candy bowl, along a hallway filled with jack-o-lanterns, and into the wilds of a suburban neighborhood.

Special thanks to gmw for being the first to suggest combining the two.

Gregg Bell · 10-14-2015, 11:03 PM

Ooo, GMW, you got special thanks! It's really cute, Nancy!

gmw · 10-15-2015, 12:53 AM

Nancy (or should I call you Sherrida on this thread?

), pleased to help. I like owls.

Gregg, some people are easier to help than others.

wrenfigueiro · 10-18-2015, 06:36 AM

Glad you picked the first one! Love the cover too, it's very cute.

10-08-2015, 06:09 AM	#4
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,344 Karma: 59447733 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	The FIRST one, because there is a child in all of us, and the adults - the one's who have the money - want to be reminded of that child and to see in THEIR children the child they used to be. That FIRST is written with love and feeling. (Add to this the complete part about Arthur's candy-bowl.) The first part of the SECOND one sounds like a prescription for herpes. Last edited by Dr. Drib; 10-08-2015 at 06:29 AM.

10-08-2015, 07:39 PM	#6
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,050 Karma: 459735575 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	If they're 5 to 10 years old they're probably not the ones doing the buying, so I'd pitch to Mom and Dad, and option 1 works for that (IMHO). Especially if there's a way to see a sample, in case Mom and Dad want to check with the kid. Option 2 reads like it's targeted to librarians, teachers, or other professionals, and could be used in an extended description. Last edited by cromag; 10-08-2015 at 07:41 PM.

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10-07-2015, 07:43 PM	#2
Cinisajoy Just a Yellow Smiley. Posts: 19,161 Karma: 83862859 Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Texas Device: K4, K5, fire, kobo, galaxy	The first one.

10-07-2015, 09:04 PM	#3
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,818 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	The first one. Although I do like this part of the second: "Arthur's adventures lead him into the depths of a candy bowl, along a hallway filled with jack-o-lanterns" - that sounds fun.

10-08-2015, 11:38 AM	#5
theducks Well trained by Cats Posts: 30,910 Karma: 60358908 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Central Coast of California Device: Kobo Libra2,Kobo Aura2v1, K4NT(Fixed: New Bat.), Galaxy Tab A	Who are you kidding: #1 wins #2, definitely reads like a prescription

10-14-2015, 11:03 PM	#8
Gregg Bell Gregg Bell Posts: 2,266 Karma: 3917598 Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Itasca, Illinois Device: Kindle Touch 7, Sony PRS300, Fire HD8 Tablet	Ooo, GMW, you got special thanks! It's really cute, Nancy!

10-15-2015, 12:53 AM	#9
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,818 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	Nancy (or should I call you Sherrida on this thread? ), pleased to help. I like owls. Gregg, some people are easier to help than others.

10-18-2015, 06:36 AM	#10
wrenfigueiro Junior Member Posts: 6 Karma: 1369000 Join Date: Oct 2015 Device: Kindle Paperwhite	Glad you picked the first one! Love the cover too, it's very cute.

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