Porn Is Ryanair's New In-Flight Entertainment

Hamlet53 · 11-08-2011, 05:52 PM

Porn Is Ryanair's New In-Flight Entertainment

Quote:

Fresh off the heels of its sexy cabin crew calendar, Ryanair is now proposing a scandalous new in-flight app that will allow passengers to screen porn at 30,000 feet.

. . .

Ryanair has made a series of shocking announcements of late. Aside from the aforementioned calendar, the airline announced plans earlier this month to remove toilets to make room for seats. Also this month, Ryanair made headlines after one of its planes made an emergency landing due to window tape coming loose. In August Ryanair crew members offered a man suffering cardiac arrest a sandwich and a soda, and then charged him for it.

Personally I would prefer on plane toilets, more leg-room, safe planes, and a free f__ing soda.

HappyMartin · 11-09-2011, 12:50 AM

No toilets!!!

You seriously want a free soda when there are no toilets. You have some kind of fetish or what?

TGS · 11-09-2011, 04:29 AM

It's not so long ago that Ryanair was being pilloried for proposing to charge passengers for using the toilets on their planes.

HomeInMyShoes · 11-09-2011, 05:29 AM

Stay classy Ryanair.

Hamlet53 · 11-09-2011, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HappyMartin

No toilets!!!

You seriously want a free soda when there are no toilets. You have some kind of fetish or what?

Wait, I knew that airport security regulations prohibited carrying on bottles filled with water (or any other liquid), but I can't carry on an empty bottle? I may have to rethink the soda thing.

howyoudoin · 11-09-2011, 09:24 AM

You could always crack open a window and pee out of it

Sweetpea · 11-09-2011, 09:33 AM

It would depend on your flight schedule, but the last time I flew (with Ryanair btw), it was a 3-hour flight... I didn't need a toilet as I went before I got into the plane...

markbot · 11-09-2011, 09:39 AM

So the strategy is to be the hooters of the air. Perhaps, they should change around their cabin crew uniforms to reveal more cleavage and leg.

Bilbo1967 · 11-09-2011, 09:53 AM

I just shamelessly copied the below from the Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day thread because it seemed so appropriate. All credit for the joke goes to Lycoming, who posted it there.

How To Save The Airlines

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary , thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

TGS · 11-09-2011, 10:31 AM

This from InsideIreland

Quote:

Budget airline Ryanair has announce a jump in profits but insists passenger numbers will fall by 10% this month as it makes plans to ground more planes over the winter.

The Dublin based operater boasted profits of 544 million euro in the six months to September 30, an increase of 20%, as a 13% rise in average fares helped it offset a 37% hike in fuel costs.

Ryanair clearly gives customers what they want - which seems to be to be treated like sh*t and charged increasingly unattractive prices for the privilege.

wodin · 11-09-2011, 01:13 PM

You beat me to it Bilbo, I already had it in my clipboard!

Bilbo1967 · 11-09-2011, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

You beat me to it Bilbo, I already had it in my clipboard!

Great minds think alike! And you and I as well, apparently

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11-09-2011, 12:50 AM	#2
HappyMartin Martin Kristiansen Posts: 1,546 Karma: 8480958 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Johannesburg Device: Kindle International Ipad 2	No toilets!!! You seriously want a free soda when there are no toilets. You have some kind of fetish or what?

11-09-2011, 04:29 AM	#3
TGS Country Member Posts: 9,058 Karma: 7676767 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Denmark Device: Liseuse: Irex DR800. PRS 505 in the house, and the missus has an iPad.	It's not so long ago that Ryanair was being pilloried for proposing to charge passengers for using the toilets on their planes.

11-09-2011, 05:29 AM	#4
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	Stay classy Ryanair.

11-09-2011, 09:24 AM	#6
howyoudoin how YOU doin? Posts: 1,100 Karma: 7371047 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: India Device: Kindle Keyboard, iPad Pro 10.5”, Kobo Aura H2O, Kobo Libra 2	You could always crack open a window and pee out of it

11-09-2011, 09:33 AM	#7
Sweetpea Grand Sorcerer Posts: 9,707 Karma: 32763414 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Krewerd Device: Pocketbook Inkpad 4 Color; Samsung Galaxy Tab S6	It would depend on your flight schedule, but the last time I flew (with Ryanair btw), it was a 3-hour flight... I didn't need a toilet as I went before I got into the plane...

11-09-2011, 09:39 AM	#8
markbot Guru Posts: 612 Karma: 7511929 Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York, NY Device: Amazon Kindle Paperwhite 2	So the strategy is to be the hooters of the air. Perhaps, they should change around their cabin crew uniforms to reveal more cleavage and leg.

11-09-2011, 09:53 AM	#9
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10	I just shamelessly copied the below from the Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day thread because it seemed so appropriate. All credit for the joke goes to Lycoming, who posted it there. How To Save The Airlines Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary , thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.' Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn't Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself? Sincerely, Bill Clinton

11-09-2011, 01:13 PM	#11
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	You beat me to it Bilbo, I already had it in my clipboard!

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