President saves over 10,000 jobs at Borders Bookstores

[SCION]

......

July 19, 2011

By Ared Istrobute

Washington D.C. – The President today announced the formation of a new organization under the federal trade commission (FTC) that will save the jobs of over 10,000 workers at the Borders Bookstores which until today faced closure and liquidation in coming weeks following failure to find a buyer in the course of its bankruptcy proceedings.

The new organization, named the Federal Department of Fair Book Distribution—the FBD—will establish guidelines and practices that protect people’s jobs across the book industry. John Schtichem, the newly appointed head of the FBD was quoted regarding the new organization and its mission: “I am thrilled to take on this role in protecting workers against the machinations of companies like Amazon.com and Apple who continue to take market share and threaten the jobs of people at traditional book resellers like Borders and Barnes and Noble. Borders has been a major contributor to book distribution for over forty years, and it is not right for newcomers like Amazon who are just riding on the coattails of the internet to undercut the prices at Borders, driving them out of business and throwing 10,000 innocent people out of work!”

John’s first act as FBD book czar is to impose a 25% internet usage fee on every Amazon sale beginning August 1, 2011. In addition, a newly revised postal service product will be mandated immediately for all internet booksellers that doubles the price of media mail service and mandates its usage for all book shipments; in addition, free shipping will no longer be permitted for book sales. It has been shown that continuing losses at the USPS are tied in part to large corporations like Amazon getting disproportionate value out of the USPS relative to typical consumers and small businesses. “I know people might object at first to these measures which may seem extreme to some,” Schtichem said, “However with so many people’s jobs at stake I think people who are thoughtful about this and compassionate about their fellow workers will understand that we all should all pay a bit more to protect the livelihoods of so many people.”

Sally F. Reloder, a long time customer of Borders was quoted as she sat in a local Borders store with her three year old daughter saying “I am so happy that the government has stepped in here to right this wrong. I have been coming here with my friends and their children for years to socialize and read books in the afternoon and was very unhappy about the potential closing of the store. I think Borders is an important social phenomenon in our society that needs to be protected, and now that they are competitive again people will actually start buying books here again too.” Asked if she had been a customer of Borders herself in recent years she indicated that while she wanted badly to buy from Borders, she was forced to go to Amazon due to the major price differences, although she indicated it was not too big of an issue for her since she did most of her reading in the store rather than buying the books.

Al Truista, another customer interviewed in the same store, derided the rise of Amazon at the expense of so-called “brick and mortar” retailers, saying, “there needs to be a variety of ways to acquire books in this country, and we cannot allow the greed of executives and investors who worship the internet to wreak havoc on our society and close down other means of distribution willy-nilly. The government must control the pace of change as they have the people’s long-term interests at heart rather than the unwholesome motives of greed and unfair competition held by business-types.” He indicated he was happy to pay the higher book prices for the greater good of the people and ...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000...ntId%3D2760358

[Phogg]

Meany.

Made me look though.

[SCION]

Originally Posted by Phogg

Meany.

Made me look though.

It's thought provoking. Didn't do it to be mean.

Asked if she had been a customer of Borders herself in recent years she indicated that while she wanted badly to buy from Borders, she was forced to go to Amazon due to the major price differences, although she indicated it was not too big of an issue for her since she did most of her reading in the store rather than buying the books.

[crich70]

Very nice for them. Now if he could just avoid scaring the thousands of people who are on Social Security like he has been...but then that's another topic for another forum.

[Barbara1955]

John’s first act as FBD book czar is to impose a 25% internet usage fee on every Amazon sale beginning August 1, 2011. In addition, a newly revised postal service product will be mandated immediately for all internet booksellers that doubles the price of media mail service and mandates its usage for all book shipments; in addition, free shipping will no


SICK SICK SICK punish those of us buying from Amazon! Gov should keep His Nose OUT!

[Dulin's Books]

i can't tell if Katie gets it or not.

[Penforhire]

Would have been a killer post on April 1st.

[Skydog]

Originally Posted by Dulin's Books

i can't tell if Katie gets it or not.

That is because it is , sadly, not far from being reality.

November 2012 cannot come soon enough.

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by Skydog

That is because it is , sadly, not far from being reality.

November 2012 cannot come soon enough.

??????

[JSWolf]

What is happening in November 2012?

[tubemonkey]

Not written very well and not the least bit amusing.

[SCION]

Originally Posted by tubemonkey

Not written very well and not the least bit amusing.

I don't think the goal of the WSJ comment was amusement. When I read it I immediately thought about how my purchase decisions play a role in the overall scheme of things. I'm guilty of lengthy browsing in stores only to buy from Amazon. I've also admitted to reading entire books on my NOOK while frequenting B&N using their "Browse in Store" feature.

Edit: As far as critiquing someone's writing skills, it's a comment. Lighten up.

[AJ Starr]

If this is a government agency, FBD, and it created a surcharge against one particular company, it probably won't hold up in a court of law. Any surcharge like that would have to apply to every sale over the internet.

Apologies to those who buy from Amazon, but I wish they could do something like this. I HATE big business monopolies.

AJ

[charleski]

although she indicated it was not too big of an issue for her since she did most of her reading in the store rather than buying the books.

LOL

On a related note, I can't help wondering if Mr Zaretsky (in the original article) ended up buying that Photoshop magazine.

[porkupan]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

What is happening in November 2012?

The teabaggers are taking over? I sure hope not!