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#676 |
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Custom User Title
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 11,338
Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks, because he's smarter than the first two.
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#677 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are taking a walk in Balboa Park when they come across a large crowd. Curious as to what’s going on, they approach, and, being tall, can with some difficulty look over the crowd’s heads to see a magician performing card tricks. The magician spots them at the back of the crowd and asks “Gentlemen, can you all see me?” The Englishman, the Frenchman, the Spaniard, and the German all respond in order: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Sí.” “Ja.”
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#678 |
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temp. out of service
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 2,818
Karma: 24285242
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Duisburg (DE)
Device: PB 623
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why cats don't go to Heaven? They have their own place: the Purrgatory
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#679 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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In high school, Robert E. Lee was voted most likely to secede.
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#680 |
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Custom User Title
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 11,338
Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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"Pre" means before and "Post" means after. Using them both is just preposterous.
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#681 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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A neurologist was diagnosing a man who had lost the ability to do basic math.
“What’s 9 plus 9?” “12”. “What’s 8 and 8?” “10”. The doctor shook his head. “Very interesting. What about 6 times 5?” The man thought for a second, and answered “1E”. “Aha, I’ve figured it out!” The doctor said. “Somebody’s clearly put a hex on you.” |
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#682 |
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Custom User Title
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Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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I have so many jokes about freeloaders. Sadly, none of them work.
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#683 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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I’ve started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, and vegetable. Someday, I hope I’ll be a bouillonaire.
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#684 |
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Custom User Title
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Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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Some people are embarrassed to live with a family of lions, but I do it with pride.
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#685 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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Did you hear about all the hidden meanings in the Lion King? Yeah, it’s full of Simbalism.
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#686 |
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Custom User Title
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Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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#687 |
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Custom User Title
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 11,338
Karma: 79528341
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD
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Why is it never a wise idea to insult an octopus? Because they are well armed.
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#688 |
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Bibliophagist
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Posts: 48,044
Karma: 174315300
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Vancouver
Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos
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If you’re ever attacked by a group of clowns, go for the juggler.
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| Tags |
| awful sense of humour, dad jokes, not always terrible, silliness |
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