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I don't think there's really any problem with iOS 4. My friend and his wife both updated their 3GS almost as soon as it came out, and they're loving it.
There are always going to be a few people who have problems. Your case is probably just an unfortunate occurrence, but in the minority. If the issue was common, I'm sure it would have been major news by now, specially on the back of the whole iPhone 4 antenna controversy.
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