[Taylor514ce]

“The romance is just gone”, wept Peg to her cousin Vera. “We never even do it anymore. The closest I get to romance is checking him for tics. He goes out ever’ night, and I just know he’s down at The Wet Spot (‘does your Mama still dance there, V?’ ‘No, not since her hip replacement’) and I just don’t know what to do. I mean, he’s no champion hog-caller”, Peg pauses to dab her eyes and blow her nose, as Vera blushes a particularly porcine shade of pink, “but he’s all the man I got. How do you and Harv keep the fires stoked-up? Why you’re always at each other. They don’t make these double-wides like they used to – we can hear you two, especially when the dogs get to howling”.

“You just got to keep it spicy. Mix things up, Peg. A man likes variety”, says Vera. “Why don’t you surprise him, play dress-up? You could play ‘Hooter’s Girl and the Traveling Salesman’ or ‘Babysitter and the Pizza Pie Delivery Boy’”.

“Which delivery boy? You mean my nephew Joey? Oh… I don’t think Hank’d go for that", said Peg, with a faraway look in her bleary, close-set eyes.