.."It was determined that Ville Colonie would bat first "
FYI, this would often be described as "Ville Colonie won and chose to bat first", or, "West Brumming won and sent Ville Colonie in to bat..", but the phrase you used is perfectly valid and I think fits in better with the surrounding sentences, so I'm not necessarily suggesting a change there.
The section looks good (from my reading of it, lolanthe asking about whether there is waiter shows that she hasn't been to a game before). That's the most violence I've seen around a cricket game though!
