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THE SNAILPAPER STATEMENT by DAN BLOOM


"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that while the Digital Age
is upon us fast and furious, the print newspaper -- hereafter dubbed
the "snailpaper" -- shall persevere as a good daily read, a
fascinating look at the world around us and a valuable tool for
understanding oped pundits and above the fold headlines. Sure, the
dear snailpaper will also be seen as a useful tool

for wrapping fish at the Fulton Fish Market or lining the bird cage in
the den, but all kidding aside -- har! har! -- the daily snailpaper
can hold its head high and be certain of its place in the culture.
While news migrates in pixels and bytes to the Internet at an
exponential rate, piling breaking story upon breaking story and
turning everyone and his mother into a 24/7 news freak and RSS
aggregator, the plodding snailpaper will nevertheless remain the
bedrock of analysis and insight, from sea to shining sea, delivered at
a snail's pace, yes, read at a snail's pace, yes, and absorbed, word
for word -- on glorius printed paper! white newsprint reflecting inked
letters! -- at a snail's pace, yes, as long as the Republic of Letters
shall live."