In MobileRead's continuing coverage in all that seemingly sucks, we are currently examining (in two other threads) Reading Snobbery and also Critics.
But hasn't an important ingredient been left out of the discussion? What is the one thing we have yet to consider?
We've all encountered it. In fact, some of us have written it!
I'm not talking primarily about grammar, although that is certainly a part of it. Oh, no: I'm talking about
BAD WRITING! Horrible writing! Outlandish writing that makes you cringe in embarrassment or laugh with hilarity! They're out there, my friends, and they're multiplying like Tribbles. There's just no stopping them. You will find most of them available primarily - but not solely - from Amazon.
In addition to grammar, one could also mention these other areas that should be taken into account when encountering bad writing:
1) Bad (inane, asinine) titles.
2) Bad characterization
3) Bad storytelling
4) Bad fiction
5) Bad romance
6) Bad research
7) Bad (to absent) editing
8) Bad (to absent) proofreading
Much of this is subjective, certainly. But much of it might also fall under 'writerly' ineptness, even ignorance.
Bill Pronzini collected some wonderfully inept (read: hilarious) examples of bad writing in two books he wrote revolving around the field of Mystery Fiction. I own these two and they have wonderful knee-slapping howlers in them. Here's an example he used in his book "
Gun in Cheek":
"Fire's a damned sight worse," he muttered. "Cripes, my head's like a pumpkin! It's always at the back of my mind."
—Ellery Queen,
The Siamese Twin Mystery
Bad writing belongs not only to fiction. Non-fiction enjoys a rich history of bad, horrible writing. I'm sure you have your favorite example. Here's one example from a philosophy student [
http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/writsamp0.htm]:
Existing is being unique. Existence, reality, essence, cause, or truth is uniqueness. The geometric point in the center of the sphere is nature’s symbol of the immeasurable uniqueness within its measurable effect. A center is always unique; otherwise it would not be a center. Because uniqueness is reality, or that which makes a thing what it is, everything that is real is based on a centralization.
What the heck?!
Should this writer be excused because he or she is a student?
In the age of the Indie writer, howlers can be very funny, indeed, although what many readers of Indy writers seem to deplore is the absence (or disregard) of editing. Here's one for your consideration:
Grant ducked down an alley way at the end of the street. By the time Davey turned into the alleyway, Grant was a tiny figure in the distance. Davey ran faster. He flew passed paint peeling paneled fences, his feet dexterously negotiating half-buried red house bricks. He was Steve Austin-the world's first bionic man. The theme music started up in head along with the voice of Lee Majors. I can't hold her chief! She's breaking up! Grant seemed closer now.
Did this author bother to edit his work?
1) alley way = should be one word; used correctly the second time
2) passed = should be 'past'
3) intentional alliteration? Or ineptness?
4) "started up in head" = missing 'his'
There was even a '
Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Writing' contest some years back for a first sentence emulating a popular genre and/or a popular work. You know, this is the guy who wrote, "It was a dark and stormy night." Here's the complete sentence:
It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.
One winner, a few years back, wrote this:
"The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"
I had the idea to do a book similar to the contest above and so put together one where I gathered together contributions from MobileRead's members.
Not all bad writing is laughably hilarious, of course. Sometimes, bad writing is merely pathetic, even embarrassingly so in some cases. One can even feel shame in knowing the author. Here's a thought: You may even
be the author!
Where do you stand on this?
What are your thoughts - exactly?
It's now your turn. Spew and heave!
Don