Quote:
Originally Posted by JSWolf
I'm not yet finished. I'm almost 1/2 done. One thing that's a little bit niggling is some of the odd stilted wording and strange punctuation in places. One thing I am not liking is the story being a documentation of what happened. That bit just doesn't work for me.
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Isn't that the basic issue with any first person narrative? Either there's a (frequently specious) reason for it, or you just have to contrive one for yourself - or overlook the issue altogether, as a standard device. A third person narrative wouldn't have worked with this at all, IMO. The street is essentially that of Casey's redemption, which needed the internal voice. The action bits wouldn't have been as effective, either.