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Originally Posted by Graham
Losing 2,000 words from 8,000 might well be possible without changing the meaning and should give you a much more readable story.
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B... but... it's epic fantasy. I've already shortened this story 14 complete volumes
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For example, if the context is right you could further reduce "She hesitated momentarily." to simply "She hesitated."
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I don't think that this is possible in this instance. The hesitation is in the middle of an series of actions, and I'd like to convey that this very short hesitation is actually the catalyst to the rest of the story.