I've read the other thread about getting Market working. But I didn't understand enough of it to help. What I need is step by step, Android-For-Dummies level instructions. Google Chat does not work, I can't sideload anything that didn't come from Market to begin with, and I can't get into Market because of a server error. I don't have an Android ID and don't know how to get one without being able to sideload. I know where the emulator is, but not what to enter in it if anything, and I have no idea how to use SDKs, either. I know; I'm pretty pathetic.
Like I said, the other thread lost me right away.