Thread: Asked vs Said
View Single Post
Old 12-04-2017, 01:57 PM   #22
arjaybe
Wizard
arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.arjaybe ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
arjaybe's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,000
Karma: 12012526
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Device: Sony PRS-650
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw View Post
I find there's an interesting parallel between this thread and the audiobook thread (and my Self-Editing for Fiction Writers thread).

While reviewing my draft I've been using my text-to-speech software - and the "he said", "she said" stuff really stands out. Audibly, "said" can be a hard sounding word. Perhaps a professional narrator can sort of mumble over it or something, but my text-to-speech software almost emphasises it, and it can become quite boring and repetitive*. It may be that the eye happily glosses over "said", but audio doesn't.

* Note, sometimes, like when you have more than two people involved in a conversation, you can't cut as many attributions as you might like.

The other thing that listening to audio makes apparent is a possible problem with the common trick of mixing speech with a beat to avoid explicit attribution, for example: "Cheers, mate." Jacko lifted his glass.

When presented on the page as a paragraph it's immediately obvious that it was Jacko that said "Cheers, mate", but when listening to audio this can be less apparent. (A professional reader would presumably provide more subtle timing to make it apparent.)


The Self-Editing for Fiction Writers book does make a fairly strong recommendation to avoid getting too inventive with your attributions. They claim "said" is "absolutely transparent" - which my notes above suggest is not always the case. But the intent of their advice stands: avoid calling attention to the attribution (normally the dialogue is what you want the reader to see, not the attribution). But, as always, context is everything. Where there is good reason to not simply use "said", then you should do what's right. The point of the rule/advice is not to say "never do it", but to make you look at each piece of dialogue and question whether it presents effectively: Am I telling the reader something they already know, or would know if I wrote better dialogue?

The funny thing is how much these rules overlap. You don't want excessive use of adverbs, italics, exclamation points, etc., for effectively the same reason.
Good comment. You're right about sometimes needing attribution for dialog in audio where you wouldn't in text. I've actually modified my writing for that reason. Because I do straight readings -- no voices, etc -- the listener can quickly lose their place in the dialog if i don't throw in enough attributions. Then it's a matter of making sure that it doesn't make the text look clumsy.

I don't find "said" to be hard sounding in my readings. Don't know about my audience.

I've dealt with your "Jacko lifted his glass" example. It's not as obvious in audio.

I agree with SEFW about not getting too fancy. Also about using each situation as the ultimate guide for style. Keep it plain and simple as much as possible and let the story take care of things.
arjaybe is offline   Reply With Quote