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I see a solution for your difficulty
Dear Distressed:
Yes, I have heard of this problem before. Unfortunately, a Reader can sometimes be mistaken as a coaster.
I know of only one way to resolve the issue, but it takes a strong man and a strong marriage for this to work. With that in mind this is what I suggest:
Find yourself a mistress, bring her home and tell your wife that you were "confused." It’s important that you point out the analogy between your being confused about your mistress and your wife being confused about the Reader. If this works, please let our readers know; if not, do you have burial insurance?
I have no legal information I can give about divorce.
Sincerely,
Mister Answer
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