Thanks again, dadioflex. after 102 sales that's my first critique from someone who hasn't enjoyed it. So it's nice to have some balance. Painful as being the one being balanced can be!
"There's a style of humorous writing which utilizes an over-wordy, pompous tone to produce a comic effect. You should take heart that you've mastered half of that equation." - Ouch! That's a lump taken, right there.
Oh, and whilst it was rhetorical, I want to mention the sample-ending encounter: He does win, but it sets him up for a fall later. His confidence becomes over-confidence and that leads to the inevitable. I spend time building up the fact that he's the big fish in his pool, and more importantly he darn well knows it, but there's always a bigger fish.
Yeah, I've been contemplating that exact strategy about the short story, it's a great idea. Stick my free sample in at the end, and sit and wait to take a few more lumps!
Hahah. *nurses bruise*.
Edit: More opinions very much welcomed, be they more or less favourable than dadioflex's. I'd just like to point out at this juncture that I have 11 positive reviews on Amazon** so far, and a not unkind 3-star one, spread across the UK and US sites. A particular Goodreads group have put me forward as their monthly recommendation, with a "Highly Recommended", um, recommendation.
Oh, and I've already looked at my opening 500 words for the Z14 sequel and eliminated a few spurious "I"'s
Even if it hurts, I'll listen. Feel a bit sick, though.
** I know, I know, Amazon reviews aren't exactly things held in high regard. But they are opinions, which is what I seek.