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Lament of the Aging Wiggle
a rant sung to the tune of "Rudolph, the Red Nosed Reindeer"
I feel foggy and loggy and creaky and grumpy
achy and painy, my body's all lumpy
I am in a rage
'cause I really feeling my age!
Pass me the old Bengay, dear
My muscles hurt and cause me pains
And here's another symptom
My knee is aching when it rains
I need to eat more fibre
and go out and exercise
As if it's gonna happen
Cause those are things that I despise
My shoulders ache, my hip is out
I just have to say
My vertebrae aren't in line
Chiropractor fix my spine!
I recall when life was easy
I didn't use Tylenol Three
But now that I'm aging badly
All those days are History
All those days are Hisssstoooooreeeee!
(repeat ad infinitum or until you forget what you came into the room for, whichever comes first)
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