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spooky69 · 04-07-2008, 05:45 AM

He clicked on the thread.
"Surely I shouldn't be able to get a wireless connection out here at sea on my pirate ship, but here I am...surfing the MobileRead forums on my hand-carved laptop that I carved myself with my rough, forceful - yet gentle - hands," said Spooky69, captain of the SS Barbarossa. "What would my dead wife say if she knew about this?"
"Your dead wife isn't here," said my sultry, sexually attractive female poop deck commander Ms. Livingstone, "But I am."
"I'm aware of the laws of only being able to exist in one place as a living person and not being able to exist in a place at all if you are dead (with the understanding that this is all in reference to the conscious, human, Earth-bound mind only), but this damn oceanic map that I was also focusing on just won't decipher itself with the compass that I am using in the 1800s."
"I think what you need, kind Captain, is a sextant."
"I already have one of those, too, and it's extremely useful, but I have needs that extend far beyond the walls of describable words and feelings...emotional needs that allow me to emphasize the desirable aspects of male sexual desire without questioning all the awful, immoral things that many women do in order to stimulate themselves sensually."
"Oh, Captain!" Hexandra Livingstone exclaimed, "What would my husband, who attends to my intellectual needs but hasn't adequate concern for the rebellious tendencies of my female treasure chest, say?"
"Hexandra..." Spooky69 said plainly, "I don't give a damn what your husband, or even the boringly boring people at your work, think about my desires...I...I...I...I...I...I...I must satisfy you right now...sexually."
Then my big tall mast flapped her sails around a little bit. I mean, it wasn't really nothing to write home about and then wait until you actually got home and then hand over what you wrote in person, but, I mean, it was okay. I mean, I think I was pretty good here, but she really just kind of laid there and made quiet noises and obviously wasn't that into it. I mean, that's fine, but I'd had my eye on this chick for a while and I guess I was expecting her to be a little better in bed...pirate ship straw bed over ropes.

The End

04-07-2008, 05:45 AM	#13
spooky69 Stats: Posts: 233 Karma: 1189 Join Date: Nov 2007 Device: Sony PRS-505	He clicked on the thread. "Surely I shouldn't be able to get a wireless connection out here at sea on my pirate ship, but here I am...surfing the MobileRead forums on my hand-carved laptop that I carved myself with my rough, forceful - yet gentle - hands," said Spooky69, captain of the SS Barbarossa. "What would my dead wife say if she knew about this?" "Your dead wife isn't here," said my sultry, sexually attractive female poop deck commander Ms. Livingstone, "But I am." "I'm aware of the laws of only being able to exist in one place as a living person and not being able to exist in a place at all if you are dead (with the understanding that this is all in reference to the conscious, human, Earth-bound mind only), but this damn oceanic map that I was also focusing on just won't decipher itself with the compass that I am using in the 1800s." "I think what you need, kind Captain, is a sextant." "I already have one of those, too, and it's extremely useful, but I have needs that extend far beyond the walls of describable words and feelings...emotional needs that allow me to emphasize the desirable aspects of male sexual desire without questioning all the awful, immoral things that many women do in order to stimulate themselves sensually." "Oh, Captain!" Hexandra Livingstone exclaimed, "What would my husband, who attends to my intellectual needs but hasn't adequate concern for the rebellious tendencies of my female treasure chest, say?" "Hexandra..." Spooky69 said plainly, "I don't give a damn what your husband, or even the boringly boring people at your work, think about my desires...I...I...I...I...I...I...I must satisfy you right now...sexually." Then my big tall mast flapped her sails around a little bit. I mean, it wasn't really nothing to write home about and then wait until you actually got home and then hand over what you wrote in person, but, I mean, it was okay. I mean, I think I was pretty good here, but she really just kind of laid there and made quiet noises and obviously wasn't that into it. I mean, that's fine, but I'd had my eye on this chick for a while and I guess I was expecting her to be a little better in bed...pirate ship straw bed over ropes. The End Last edited by spooky69; 04-07-2008 at 05:48 AM.