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Old 08-31-2014, 05:17 PM   #2
HarryT
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Two points:

1. Rhyming couplets are about the "twee-est" form of poetry around. I'd suggest choosing a more interesting metrical pattern. But good on you for having a meter! The fashion today seems to be to write prose, split the lines in random places, and claim that it's poetry. Writing to a meter is much more challenging, and the result much more interesting to read.

2. Pretty much all your semicolons really should be commas.
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